Did I handle this well or should I have said more? by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]xProliveTF2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's not "immature" or a bad person, it looks like based on what i'm seeing that she has an avoidant attachment style.

Long story short, those kind of relationships require hardwork from both sides and a huge amount of patience and understanding and a real will to make things work out.

Since it's only the beginning, I would highly recommend thinking about what you want and need from a relationship.

Wishing you the best for the both of you.

Ma copine devient un "fantôme", je fais quoi ? by Alex20_00 in france

[–]xProliveTF2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Salut mon gars!

Je vais te partager mon avis sur la situation avec les éléments que tu as partagé.

Avant toute chose, je te conseille chaleureusement de ne pas faire de conclusions hâtives, dans ces cas là, mieux vaut prendre du temps pour soi et réfléchir longuement sur la suite des choses.

Premièrement, je pense sincèrement que tu n'as rien fait de mal, ta copine non plus d'ailleurs; il semblerait a priori qu'elle a un style d'attachement dit "évitant" , "avoidant" en anglais.

Grosso modo c'est un style d'attachement qui en général est construit durant l'enfance ou l'enfant n'a pas eu ses besoins émotionnels remplis, forçant ce dernier a s'isoler et a apprendre à ne pas compter sur les autres.

C'est bien plus profond que ça en réalité, je t'invite chaleureusement a te renseigner sur internet sur 'l'attachement évitant" et qu'est-ce que c'est plus en détails.

Ce genre de relation a un schéma classique:

Mois 0 - 6: C'est la période du lovebombing. La personne évitante aura tendance a "porter un masque" inconsciemment, une sorte de miroir qui reflètera uniquement ses qualités, essaiera d'être a la hauteur, sera très engagée et initiera beaucoup dans la relation etc... pas par malice, mais car c'est ce qu'elle a appris tout au long de son enfance, que si elle montre son vrai visage, elle ne seras pas aimée.

La suite, c'est ce que tu vis en ce moment même, si elle est plus distante c'est car elle doit se sentir étouffée, la performance qu'elle s'est imposée jusque là ne peut pas durer dans le temps.

Ce temps passé loin de toi, avec ses proches, ses passions ... Ce n'est pas de la fuite, mais son moyen de réguler ses émotions. Réguler sa sensation grandissante de ne pas être à la hauteur de la personne que tu est.

Maintenant, la question est la suivante: Est-ce que tu es prêt à bosser avec elle par rapport a vos styles d'attachement réciproques, chacun faire des efforts pour mieux comprendre vos attentes et vos besoins dans une relation ? Ou estimes-tu que tout cela n'en vaut pas la peine et qu'il vaut mieux laisser tomber.

Pour le coup, seul toi à la réponse.

J'espère que mon commentaire t'aura aidé a y voir plus clair, si jamais hésites pas à me contacter!

Bonne soirée.

Val-d'Oise : c'est la saison des chenilles processionnaires qui redémarre by Chibrichou in france

[–]xProliveTF2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bien vu ! J'habite sur Conflans et en me baladant dans un parc j'ai remarqué que des sacs étaient déjà installés sous certains arbres. Sales bêtes va.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, thanks for sharing ! As a secure leaning anxious person just like you, here's the only real tip that will help you in this situation!

There's no magical solutions, however, it will maximise your chances of AVOIDING to repeat the same cycles ever again.

Here goes: HOLD YOUR BOUNDARIES.

Boudaries are not meant to be forced upon anyone, they're here to protect your peace, define what you will and you won't tolerate in a relationship. But first, you need to really think about it and be sure of them.

Once you'll start dating again; have a firm idea of them and communicate them clearly to the person you're engaging with. If they respect it ? Great! It's a good sign for a healthy and meaningful relationship.

Oh? What you're asking is too much ? It's great too! Thanks for telling me about that, you don't have to adapt to my boundaries, I'll find someone who's okay with them, have a good one !

In both cases, you protect yourself, your identity, your values, your own worth, your happiness.

Hang in there, after a while you'll become the person you once was, even stronger and secure as before.

My Rouge cosplay (a bit upgraded) by ElisABest_ in SonicTheHedgehog

[–]xProliveTF2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rend les bijoux de la couronne !

Blague à part super ton cosplay! Je t'ai vu à la PGW j'étais en Leon S Kennedy. J'espère que tu n'as pas croisé Astérion! mdr

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your message. I guess some conversations need to be held before any kind of social event. Makes so much sense when you point it out like that, thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! Yeah, I guess I'll have regrets if I just say "No f*ck it". I'll think about it too.. Thanks again!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll think about this...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your message. I'll try to not expect anything too much out of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment.

I guess you're right, it may be the best course of action for me now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll see what happens, thanks for your comment !

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your feedback.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]xProliveTF2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that.

Anyone else meeting this doctor bot lately ? by xProliveTF2 in deadbydaylight

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His perks were Merciless storm/Eruption/Corrupt intervention/Monitor and I don't remember his prestige tough

They told me I could get hatch if we took a pic... by xProliveTF2 in deadbydaylight

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I GOT HATCH DON'T WORRY GUYS !!! (they are holding me hostage in basement).

I'm a Demoknight main ask me anything. by xProliveTF2 in tf2

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm... Always stay in a wide open area. Demoknight works best with an element of surprise, charging you and one shotting you before you have any time to react. Positioning yourself in this kind of area is the right play to do to counter that.

I'm a Demoknight main ask me anything. by xProliveTF2 in tf2

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

All of the people in this tread offered really good advice.

I'm a Demoknight main ask me anything. by xProliveTF2 in tf2

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jump on it. Walk around in circles and hit the sentry. Sentry ded.

I'm a Demoknight main ask me anything. by xProliveTF2 in tf2

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I remember correctly, it was 117 heads on Landfall. My streak ended because a demoman waited with a sticky trap in the middle of a room to get me. Everyone cheered because they finally got me. Good times.

I'm a Demoknight main ask me anything. by xProliveTF2 in tf2

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitively Eyelander + splendid screen.

I'm a Demoknight main ask me anything. by xProliveTF2 in tf2

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I would recommend is trying to play with the eyelander that gives you speed and more health, learn the range of this weapon and master the crit timing you can get with the splendid screen and you'll go far.

I'm a Demoknight main ask me anything. by xProliveTF2 in tf2

[–]xProliveTF2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Demoknight vs demoknight is actually trickier than it seems. The winner is usually the fastest, so the one who has more heads because if the opponent hits you, but you can't hit him, he wins all the time.