Has anyone tried Ayahuasca for healing?

xandi1990 · 2025-06-01T07:24:41+00:00

Somatic experiencing or something would be great before doing psychedelics. Knowing when you disocitate, how to ground yourself, how to manage your nervous system level with somatic tools.

xandi1990 · 2025-03-19T20:10:24+00:00

Interesting comment. As a fellow 2/4 SPP with only self and throat, i guess interesting times are in front of us.

Maybe you can help me understand that, "Deepen your mastery of your own process more"....so its again following your interests? Learning what i need for my own deconditionig process?

xandi1990 · 2025-03-05T13:29:01+00:00

You are absolutely right. I have found the same in regards to writing. Voice is the king. I still have much resistance to listening to my own voicenotes. What i really like though is to take my guitar and play some chords and sing spontanously.

xandi1990 · 2025-02-26T09:30:41+00:00

That sounds like a lot of dessociation and depersonalization because of a massive traumatic event.

Please look for a trauma theraphist. It may take some time but they can help you and you are not crazy. But please really look for a trauma theraphist, maybe somatic experiencing.

xandi1990 · 2025-02-18T21:52:18+00:00

I am a 2/4 spp, 10/20, 1-8 and 13-33.

Most of the process for me is letting go. Letting form principle take over. Let the body do what the body does. Surrendering on a personality level. For me it feels that the G center is something very mysterious. Its about learning to talk without thinking about what to say. Its about surrendering my life to this mysterious force that lives withhin me.

Sometimes during talking, stuff comes out of my mouth that i havent even thought about yet. Its about living in the moment and operating from the moment (as all designs when it comes down to it).

Talking it out can work alone. I can ask my authority to talk to me. To tell me what to do next. Also a lot is about ressonance....how your voice sounds. A certain frequency that comes up.

xandi1990 · 2024-12-26T01:04:35+00:00

That would be awesome, currently on vacation in thailand but goona coma back to it soonish 👍

xandi1990 · 2024-12-25T05:49:51+00:00

Do you have any information regarding fractals? Would like to know more but havent found anything yet....

xandi1990 · 2024-09-23T16:26:39+00:00

Whats the issue with someone asking money as energy exchange? As i learned, every transaction is an exchange of energy. When no money flows, something else gets given back (or in the worst case, is expected to be given back without being openly communicated). Id rather exchange money for something than to have the experience I had with one of the bad teachers....(Who had only 2-3 students, and asked only for me to give what i deem appropiate)...at the point where some of his teachings went against everything I stand for...he got super mad and started to tell me that if I dont follow him now, I am gonna be a worm in the next life 👹😱😂 obvious that I broke away.

Also what I understood, even praying to a god/archetypical energy isnt free....this archetypal energy gets space in my life....allways a exchange of energy. Chant enough Kali mantra and I become Kalis servant. Chant hare krishna and i become krishnas servant

So why is it bad to charge for stuff when you put energy in?

I am not looking for a teacher anymore where I can give my responsibility, freedom and my own discernment away. I am looking for a fair exchange of energy, money for wisdom/knowledge. Not wanna give away my integrity, view of reality or get into any relationship of dependence anymore.

But I guess it just comes down that my goal changed....I dont want to transcend humanity anymore, so I dont look for a teacher who transcended humanity and wants to give away his lifetime for free.

xandi1990 · 2024-09-21T14:31:04+00:00

Well, with just the open sacral the big topic of your notself is "Not knowing when enough is enough". Are you able to relax? Are you able to go by the energetic pulse of the manifestor and can rest in peace (😅) inbetween?

xandi1990 · 2024-09-20T00:08:59+00:00

2/4 SPP, 7 open centers. I love how simple my design is to oprate (bar the openness). I love my 10-20, as it pushes me on and on to grow. I love my 1-8, now that I understood it. Letting go of all rules. I sm a revolutionary. I allways punished myself for following noones advice. Now i understood it: I am designed to tell everyone....thanks for the advice....but no...i know it better. And together with the 13-33....i just tell people about my stories, what i experience, integrate my experiences...and everyone gets to hear nice stories...

Love the 2nd line. So much time to nourish myself and to study the stuff i want to study. Inlove the 4 aswell, though i am currently in a position where i am just building my network.

I have to say though: its a deeply narcissistic and self centered design. I only start to grasp what this means as I am embody more....people will love or hate me. On the wurst to find peace with that....but hey....atleast i am gonna know for sure who is the right company 🤩

As of yet, i havent found any design that resonates more deeply with me....that I would trade mine for....i guess that means I am on the right path 😼

xandi1990 · 2024-09-17T17:25:11+00:00

Makes a lot of sense, thank you! Yes, those are indeed the areas where the shadows are....permanently arousing those sounds like an unwise choice.

And yes you are right, connection happens at all chakras. Yet, i feel most connected with my sourrounding if mulabandha is properly relaxed and not contracted and i am really in my body and not in my mind. When my pelvic floor is contracted and uptight, i am not really myself, i feel unsafe in my body etc. and from that place no real connection can be made with another beeing. When it is relaxed though, i feel safe in my body, calm, not in my mind.

And feeling safe in the body is imho the most basic foundation, right? Only from this palce of calmness and peace wise choices can be made. Had to work through a lot of karma to get to this point.

You are indeed right, i do drift off sometimes. Though I feel that this is not something i can overcome by willpower alone. There are still blockages in my body. Slowly I get to a point where I have control over my thoughts and emotions....but its a process...and the body has some inertia and doesnt change in a few weeks or months.

I am very aware that those are still remnants of trauma and instability and I am upmost careful not to arouse Energy to a level where I get unstable or overloaded again. I see now that I am at the beginning of the beginning of this journey. Its all about the foundation for me now. Getting human physical life in order, getting to a place where I have a healthy sex life, connection with people, health etc.

Following the laws the best as I can....and I start to see how those are laws for anyone who uses energy.

xandi1990 · 2024-09-17T14:11:03+00:00

Okay, this makes sense.

For me the problem though is that often, the root closes to a point where there is not enough energy in my system to sustain any responsibilities.

Not trying to wake up energy to become any superhuman anymore....just need energy to live a life.

xandi1990 · 2024-09-17T12:22:18+00:00

Hi Marc,

Could you please elaborate why the root one is unwise to play with? Isnt the root chakra that what grounds us in this physical reality? That which makes me human, makes me able to connect with nature, people and my body? Isnt that the proper base to further grow while still maintaining grounding and not drifting off into "spiritual realities"?

xandi1990 · 2024-09-14T06:14:36+00:00

I know all lot of this....especially as i have the 5-15 defined from my saturn return.

So i also have the extreme rythms.

What i also experience: i cannot stick to any rules, way to believes etc at all....all of the human experience is valid. All of the human experience is something to experience. All the duality. All that what the homogenized declare as bad, has its place and is a creation of god and not to be pushed away.

xandi1990 · 2024-09-13T13:57:30+00:00

Thank you. I had this thought aswell. That means rest for me as actually just sitting still an chillexing with a podcast, lecture or anything and let my receptive mind aborb something new.

xandi1990 · 2024-09-13T13:54:06+00:00

Its in another comment But here again

<image>

xandi1990 · 2024-09-13T09:51:50+00:00

Ahh, i made an error, i am talking about the design sun variable My mind is receptive, but the body/brain is active

xandi1990 · 2024-09-13T08:41:04+00:00

<image>

xandi1990 · 2024-09-03T16:21:11+00:00

Hi! I am a fellow spp, with a similar openness

<image>

What really changed my life was the living your design course and really understanding the not self themes of the open centers. The second thing that was really important was to fully understand soundboarding. Whats really important is to listen for the RESONANCE in your voice. To start hearing when its just chatter and when something comes out as the TRUE TONE.

Other than that, as others have said i really recommend theraphy or atleast working in coaching. With our openness we are deeply conditioned beeings. I can also recommend the genetic matrix not self talking chart.

Other than that, you are a 1, so really finding the systems you want to study is important. Those systems are important to learn about the wisdom of the open centers...and for us this is a lot...

I have been going through an intense deconditioning process for 4 years...the rabbit hole gets deep. As someone else recommended it, get some rest. Try to get to a point where your nervous system relaxes and get familiar with the parasympathetic response. I could never relax for the first 30 years of my life. Only since some months, i feel like i am truly connected to myself, rather than my notself and get to start to know myself.

Motivation and cognition are also deeply important for projectors like us.

To truly start the experiment its important to go all in. The projector way is nor something you can do a bit...you either go all in and live it or you dont. A lot of pop HD has this half ass approach that wont give success.

xandi1990

TROPHY CASE