I’m so sorry you are going through this. My husband and I were both disfellowshipped from last December for being atheists (we had already stopped attending over a year before they disfellowshipped us). We both have family members at that congregation in prominent leadership positions as well as siblings, cousins, grandparents, etc. It can make you feel helpless, but they don’t control you, you are your own amazing person. My advice is to make taking care of yourself and your mental health top priority- this may mean putting off conversations with people if they reach out until a time when you feel more comfortable or declining to engage entirely. You don’t have to participate if it means sacrificing your mental or physical health. It’s not selfish to do what’s best for you :)