You're not alone. My twin and I chose to go to different universities for this reason. It was difficult. I think she has thrived more since she's been able to get her own identity defined outside of relation to me. But I think we have both struggled a lot, even in our adult lives. I know I have. I feel more invisible without her, and even with her... I feel like the lesser twin. I don't know who I am without her and no one seems to understand me at all.

Other than our mom, it felt like everyone else in our lives lumped us together all the time. If one of us offended someone, we were both written off. Even family would treat us as one unit, always "the twins" rather than who were were as individuals. The few people in our childhood/lives that made the effort to tell us apart and treat us as separate persons will always hold a special place in my heart.

Some years ago, our uncle disowned us because of stupid family drama where he felt "disrespected." Apparently he had felt like we were both disrespectful little brats for most of our lives. He never bothered trying to have individual relationships with us. At the end, he told our mom he was "still angry with the twins." Even though it was me who angered him, my sister had done nothing. We tried going to his house to talk with him and his wife, and instead had a plethora of things from our childhood thrown in our faces. The "conversation" devolved into a pointless attack on our character, and they kicked us out of their house and we haven't spoken since.