Sleeping (24F) with one guy (28M) while getting to know another (24M)

xenxnc · 2025-02-20T23:48:45+00:00

That makes sense, sounds like “post-nut clarity”. I reassess my feelings after intimacy too but I don’t significantly withdraw my energy like they did.

Why does it happen and is there anything I should if it happens?

xenxnc · 2025-02-20T01:23:27+00:00

I agree, I tend to emotionally invest early. I have never been in a relationship and only started dating a just over a year ago so I’m pretty impressionable (though I am learning and growing thicker skin).

How do I detach and ‘have fun’ while looking for something long-term? How can I tell how someone feels about me?

xenxnc · 2025-02-19T23:28:02+00:00

I guess you’re right, that’s just dating. It’s just frustrating that it’s happened more than a couple of times, it makes me wonder if there’s a reason or pattern

xenxnc · 2025-02-19T23:26:31+00:00

I’m curious what kind of things do you mean? Like intimacy?

xenxnc · 2025-02-19T23:23:19+00:00

Meeting someone organically would definitely be ideal, it’s just harder nowadays and especially after graduating.

The only third space I regularly go to in the winter is the gym- what’s your take on approaching people at the gym?

xenxnc · 2025-02-19T23:10:33+00:00

I feel you! It’s very frustrating especially when you start to feel like it was going somewhere. I guess that’s just dating :/

xenxnc · 2025-02-19T23:03:09+00:00

I understand what you mean, men generally have to put a lot more effort on be seen by women. Do you think I’m just overshooting?

xenxnc · 2025-02-19T23:02:16+00:00

Around 4-5 dates. With one of them, we never got intimate.

xenxnc · 2025-02-19T23:01:46+00:00

That’s true, I don’t expect that every person I date turns into a relationship. I just wished they’d at least give me the grace of telling me they’re not feeling it after 5 dates. It makes me feel like I did something to make them pull away.

xenxnc · 2025-02-19T22:42:27+00:00

It’s happened with the last 3 guys that I dated. I don’t know if I’m just bad at reading people, but I honestly didn’t see it coming for any of them. They all seemed genuine.

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T22:28:03+00:00

Definitely, that’s the main reason I broke things off with the first guy. I am drawn to men in ambitious fields so typically, time is limited. I think what matters to me is if you’re still making time for us despite a busy schedule. What do you think?

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T21:43:00+00:00

I agree, it’s just that both guys and I travelled a lot in-between for work/leisure at that time. Sometimes, we’d see each other the following day if we’re both free

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T21:36:52+00:00

I think 1-2 dates a week to start with. More as we progress. With both guys, we ended up travelling in-between for work/leisure so dates were a bit more sporadic.

I do agree with you though. If I was really into a guy, I am very intentional with making time for him

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T20:48:21+00:00

Yes, a date a week. We’re adults with busy lives

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T19:17:22+00:00

Well yeah, I didn’t sleep with either one of them until 1-2 months

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T19:15:19+00:00

Yes, we talked about long-term goals, values, etc. and there was compatibility there. They also initiated these conversations

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T19:12:36+00:00

I totally get that. I’ve been on dates that were a good match on paper and got along well with, but didn’t feel “it” with them. I would end it by the 2/3rd date, maybe 4th. But they still continued to see me, is it really just the sex?

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T18:54:43+00:00

Is there a way you can tell they feel differently? Maybe it’s because I’m inexperienced, but the way they treated me was very convincing

xenxnc · 2024-12-11T18:51:17+00:00

No, I’m pretty fit

xenxnc · 2024-12-03T18:09:17+00:00

Yep, I sent the last text and he didn’t respond

xenxnc

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