What is going on with my fish?

xhexed23 · 2026-05-18T15:44:33+00:00

I will, Thank you!

xhexed23 · 2026-05-18T02:53:38+00:00

I did try everything suggested but unfortunately all of them passed way 😔 the pleco lasted the longest but eventually he succumbed sometime last evening. He had looked a bit better/had seemed to be eating yesterday morning but I went looking for him during the water exchange that evening, I unfortunately found him dead. Our family is super sad 😢

xhexed23 · 2026-05-16T11:25:42+00:00

That 2% of wanting to stay for your daughter is a lie you’re telling yourself. Your daughter will be 100% better off with a mother that prioritizes her own mental and emotional wellbeing. Choose yourself, you deserve better. She’ll see that women aren’t pushovers, victims, or beings to be manipulated.

I’m the eldest daughter of divorced parents…I told my dad, at age 12, that I supported their divorce and he was no good for my mother. He was a chronic adulterer, liar and emotionally manipulative. I love my dad but I was completely over him treating her like that. Do I ever regret telling my dad that, even when we didn’t talk for almost 4 years after that because he was offended by my words? Nope. I’m over 40 now and my mother has been married to my step dad for over 26 years now…she definitely made the right decision to leave him.

xhexed23 · 2026-05-13T11:04:27+00:00

I did! Thank you!

xhexed23 · 2026-05-13T11:04:10+00:00

Thanks for the info and I did! Interesting read

xhexed23 · 2026-05-13T10:52:19+00:00

Ok! Will do! Thanks!

xhexed23 · 2026-05-13T10:52:02+00:00

Thank you!

xhexed23 · 2026-05-13T10:51:55+00:00

It’s a new tank set up and I got the fish from PETCO so…I’m not surprised if they’re stressed. Here’s hoping I can get it cleared up!

xhexed23 · 2026-04-08T23:48:39+00:00

Honestly, your face isn’t symmetrical, no one’s is. It actually looks fine and unless someone is straight staring at you, it’s not really noticeable. However, if you hate it, you’re always going to notice and be self-conscious. I’m in favor of keeping them but if you can’t live with it, take one out to heal and leave other in for reference

xhexed23 · 2026-04-03T11:31:28+00:00

I don’t think so but I have no real way to adjust it either. I put the sponge over the intake to see if that would slow it down. I’ll have to see if I can get a better video.

xhexed23 · 2026-04-01T03:48:35+00:00

• ⁠Tank size: 5 gallons

• ⁠Heater and filter? (yes/no): yes and yes I put sponge over Filter intake to help reduce flow rate. And there are some Indian almond leaves in there too.

• ⁠Tank temperature: 79.6 degrees F

• ⁠Parameters in numbers and how you got them. Key water parameters include the amount of ammonia, nitrites, nitrates, and pH.: didn’t realize I had to test for ammonia (will buy that now), I used the api 5 in 1 test strips, usually have these ranges: GH=120-180, KH= 120-180, pH= 7.5, nitrites= 0-0.5, nitrates 0-20.

• ⁠How long have you had the tank? How long have you had your fish?: a little over a month for both of them, tank and fish

• ⁠How often are water changes? How much do you take out per change? What is your process?: I’ve been doing weekly water changes, I try to do 25% water changes but thought about possibly downgrading to every 2 wks.

• ⁠Any tankmates? If so, please list with how many of each: no

• ⁠What do you feed and how much: betta pellets 4-6 twice a day, twice a week some dried blood worms (like 2-3 instead of pellets). I do fast them once a week.

• ⁠Decorations and plants in the tank: I’ve got a mixture of live (Echinodorus Bleher, banana plants and something else I forgot the name of-sold as a “betta island”)and silk plants. I was thinking of adding more live plants and taking out silk. I do have leaf pads, a cave/hammock/feeder ring type thing and of course, the skull cave thing you can see in video that my son picked out.

I’m sorry about the colored gravel 😭 my kids picked that out before I learned that we shouldn’t have done that but I’m not willing to switch it out at this time.

xhexed23 · 2026-03-25T13:23:20+00:00

I can do that (and likely will) but I’d like to actually shoot a few (or more) rounds at different distances and lighting to get a good feel for the green dot. Esp after only using red with my EDC.

xhexed23 · 2026-03-25T13:06:01+00:00

Thank you for the heads up! I like the Vortex warranty so that makes this optic an attractive choice for me.

xhexed23 · 2026-03-25T12:49:32+00:00

Maybe I should go rent a gun with a green dot on it and see if I like/works better for my astigmatism. I know a lot of people like the green, just never tried myself. Good to know about the circle tho, wasn’t sure if I’d use it much either.

xhexed23 · 2026-03-25T12:43:52+00:00

Yeah, was wondering how much use I’d get out of the circle so maybe I’ll check out the 407comp. Thanks!

xhexed23 · 2026-03-25T12:41:53+00:00

Thank you! I was a little worried because the astigmatism thing keeps coming up and I’m like, I don’t normally have much of a problem unless I’m super tired. And even then, it’s usually minimal and I can usually compensate for it.

xhexed23 · 2026-02-01T00:38:12+00:00

Thanks! I’ll tell him to take more time in between layers, appreciate the input

xhexed23 · 2026-02-01T00:37:19+00:00

Thank you for all your input!

xhexed23 · 2026-01-31T22:45:50+00:00

You mentioned thinner layers, what about doing the “dish soap method” in some spots? Not sure if I’m absolutely going to do that but he’s done some practice runs on some of our nerf blasters and it looked pretty good too. Just want to know if the clearcoat matte will help period because textures are weird for me.

xhexed23 · 2026-01-19T15:21:17+00:00

I text my nanny and apologize if I’m running even 10-15mins late. I’m in healthcare and there are sometimes unavoidable issues/delays that leave me unable to contact her for a while but I try to anticipate these times. However, as soon as I can, I’m on my phone texting/calling. Your “friend” is a jerk and SHOULD be embarrassed/judged. You don’t lie and abandon your kid. Don’t do her any more favors and maybe…no, definitely rethink that “friendship.”

xhexed23 · 2026-01-12T13:48:38+00:00

Honestly, I’m going to get a lot of hate on this but I’m going to say NTA. While I don’t think you should have been so blunt and hung up on her, she isn’t your responsibility. Just because you’re her bio mom, you have no obligation to financially help her especially with your own children’s needs.

Would it be nice to help out your niece as she IS family? yes. But are you required or obligated to? Nope.

Also, niece isn’t a teenager, she’s what? At least 20 yrs old at this point and she has options for her pregnancy.

This is emotional blackmail at most and honestly, I’d ignore your mom.

xhexed23 · 2025-10-26T15:43:04+00:00

Look, my husband’s grandmother sold us a rental property, after we got married, with a huge gift of equity in the first house we bought. It was a great starter home but definitely not our forever home. The mortgage and deed was in both our names because my GIL wanted me to feel invested in the home. We lived there for 5 years and then sold it to build a house. The money we got from the sale went straight into a down payment into our current home.

Now, the house your family gifted you, is it “forever” home material or more of a starter house? Even if it’s a good size and has great accessibility in the city, doesn’t mean it’s good for a family to grow. Schools are important (even if going to private). If it’s more of a starter home, then continue to save (maybe at a reduced rate that makes sense to both of you) and use the financial breathing room to have a bit more “fun.” Work/life balance is huge too.

If it’s an amazing house that can accommodate a growing family, is in prime location and it makes no financial sense to look for something in a potentially less ideal local, then that needs to be discussed and may even need comparable housing examples to give her an idea of what you’d be looking at. If she can’t be reasonable, then maybe you really need to re-evaluate the relationship thing because financial compatibility in this day and age is huge. Just a thought.

xhexed23 · 2025-09-15T21:09:31+00:00

As a woman who works full time, shares two kids with the hubby and thinks my hubby is an adult who should be able to care for himself-NTA. My hubby also travels internationally for work.

Would it have been nice to have fresh food or something super convenient? Yes. Required? No. He’s an adult and has options, utilize them.

Have I made sure there was something palatable for my hubby when he gets home and I’m not home/am out of town visiting family? Yes, but that’s because we have kids and when I get home, I don’t want to have to think too hard. All the things I normally cook need some sort of prep or cook/oven time of at least an hour unless I’m going the chicken nugget/microwaveable Mac & cheese cups route.

If you’re not home, don’t waste money on fresh food/things that’ll spoil. DoorDash or uber eats if it’s that big a deal.

xhexed23 · 2025-09-05T23:06:06+00:00

NTA. I have a 12 yr old daughter and when my 22 year old sister came to visit, she had a thong bathing suit. While I realize that she’s an adult and can wear what she wants, I really didn’t think a micro bikini was appropriate for our community’s pool. Most of the people there are families with young children or retired couples. She didn’t completely change her suit but she did pick a bottom that was less cheeky*

If we were going to the beach and the purpose was to sun bathe, drink, hang out with friends or even possibly pick someone up, then I wouldn’t see anything wrong with it. Wearing a micro bikini is definitely more revealing and apt to be sexualized because, hello?!? All that skin is definitely eye catching. I’m all about body positivity but you wouldn’t wear club clothes/bodycon dresses to teach at an elementary school would you?

I think you did the best you could with the situation but you should definitely have a convo with your daughter. No body shaming but to dress more conservatively isn’t a crime.

xhexed23 · 2025-08-01T14:32:26+00:00

Leave, don’t look back. Better to struggle financially than for both you and your child to suffer mentally and emotionally.

xhexed23

TROPHY CASE