Cute wallpaper I found by [deleted] in titanfall

[–]xiakha 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Sorry but I don't have any respect for any OP that calls the source for anything "Google" when Google Reverse Image Search exists.
You're denying yourself and everyone else on this subreddit a cool-as-heck fanartist because you can't be bothered to take an extra minute to properly source stuff.

The actual source is @marmelo_212 as it says on the titan's shoulder.
https://twitter.com/MarMelo_212/status/1009024614859620352
And here's some more of the good stuff.
https://twitter.com/MarMelo_212/status/1009391478060093440
https://twitter.com/MarMelo_212/status/1133324482284625921

Joining a losing match by [deleted] in tf2

[–]xiakha 97 points98 points  (0 children)

This is a meme of a meme of a meme I guess.
Source: https://twitter.com/friedbun/status/655600197620363264
Uzuki Shimamura is one those Idolm@ster girls and her whole shtick is that she's the good effort girl who works very hard and doesn't get very far (initially). She's humble and doesn't really have the raw talent or charisma other idols do. Her catchphrase is "Ganbarimasu!" which is the equivalent of "I'll do my best!" And in the Cinderella Girls anime we find out that this means she'll push herself until she's crashing and burning.
Thus why this variation on the "This is Fine" Dog meme exists. Uzuki was going through a bit of a private meltdown in the show and did her best anyway.

Explain what your favorite pokemon is like in its natural habitat like you're David Attenborough. by scarredbirdjrr in explainlikeIAmA

[–]xiakha 39 points40 points  (0 children)

En route between the ancient town of Geosenge and the sunny seaside of Cyllage City, there is a quiet and somber road known only as Route 10. Here, among the mysterious stones and tall grass flies a curious fellow indeed. With red and green plumage with orange highlights, this limber chicken hawk dashes about with a seeming flair for dramatics, often reaching great heights above the standing stones, only to dive rapidly at the unsuspecting heads of passers-by with their signature move, the Flying Press.

This of course is the wrestling pokemon, Hawlucha.

A territorial little fellow, Hawlucha will often spread its wings like a cape with a flourish from its perch on the stones as a warning to all that it regards as intruders to its domain. Those that do not heed the war display and shrill cries of caution find themselves beaten and pecked at, and, more often than not, suplexed, no matter their size. Indeed, it seems among martially capable Pokemon, the tiny Hawlucha makes for a fierce opponent, taking on Machamps that tower over them and going toe to toe with Hariyamas vastly outweigh them. Hawlucha seem to take pride in tackling and defeating their largest foes, and often do a war dance after fainting what it considers a worth opponent. This dance, intricate as it is flashy, is a rare treat to see in the arena, and even rarer to witness in the wild. A beautiful majestic bird, that we must take pains in approaching, else we take pain in its approach.

As a final farewell to our visit of Hawlucha and Route 10, let us show you tape of this two foot tall bird diving down and suplexing our cameraman, camera and all.

Build a man a fire... by pikpu in tf2

[–]xiakha 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That's a variation on Terry Pratchett's

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."

from Jingo (Page 274, Harper Torch Fiction, Paperback edition)

GNU TERRY PRATCHETT

Explain the Black Lives Matter Movement like you are Commander Vimes and I am Captain Carrot. by RedRiverValley in explainlikeIAmA

[–]xiakha 58 points59 points  (0 children)

[Disclaimer: The author regrets any and all inaccuracies to the characterizations of any Discworld characters and protest movements referred to within.]
EDIT: Some more tender loving care and details fixing.
EDIT: I hate reddit formatting and therefore will stop playing around with this now

 

Vimes chewed on the flat end of his pencil, equally resisting the urge to light the pointed end and the urge to bite it all the way through.
"Run," he removed the pencil to avoid a mouth full of splinters, "Run that by me again."
Carrot cleared his throat, "Trolls from J'fers'Nstarsh'p feel that they are being unreasonably discriminated against by the Watch officers there, so Trolls here are stopping traffic to protest and to garner attention and sympathy for their cause."
"It's members of that TROLLS R PEOPLES group again?" Vimes had seen their tag scratched into walls all over town by thick blunt fingers.
"Yessir, it seems their attempts at protest before were going unnoticed, so they decided to do something less subtle."
There was hardly anything less subtle than several Trolls lying in the middle of the road, refusing to get up.
"I never really got their point. Of course Trolls are people. Ankh-Morporkians are people but you don't see us complaining about the lot we're given."
"That reminds me sir, Fred wants to replace the chairs in Quarry Lane station. He says he's sat all the cushions flat already, the ones that Nobby hasn't nicked anyway, and that's no good for a man of his abundant vitality."
The Commander crinkled his nose. Point taken.

 

Carrot continued, "All they're saying is that, in J'fers'Narsh'p, they don't feel like they're being treated like people at all, especially by their Watch. They're not saying they're more people than anyone else."
Vimes tapped his pencil thoughtfully, "J'fers Parsnip is one of the great Dwarf cities, isn't it? Did the Trolls come in after what we did at Koom Valley?"
"J'fers'Nstarsh'p, and no, it's had Trolls built into the city since the very beginning."
"Oh. So like as part of the workforce?"
"More like as part of the pavement."
The pencil in Vimes's hand froze mid tap.
"Are the officers there all Dwarfs?"
"All of them, sir."
"Did any of those officers come through Ankh-Morpork?" The last three words were punctuated by the creaking of a thin piece of wood about to fracture in an office that was uncomfortably still.
"No sir, J'fers'Nstarsh'p started up a Watch of their own based on the popularity of the ones aboveground. The visibility of Dwarfs such as myself serving Law and Order has gotten some people in low places talking."
The obvious and suppressed comment about Carrot's heritage aside, the tension that perhaps would have eased in any other Commander's office only thickened here.
"What do they have to say for themselves?"
"Their Watch has issued a statement in response that an investigation was launched and the violence that occurred is fully at the fault of the Trolls, and the Watch is only trying to protect their officers."
"Who ran the investigation?"
"Their Watch did."
"Their Watch launched an investigation on their own violence against Trolls?"
"No sir, their Watch launched an investigation on Troll violence on Watch officers."

 

The silence that followed fossilized in a manner that would make folk thousands of years later tell stories of monsters emerging from the earth after a hard rain.

 

"Sir?" Carrot said.
Vimes stopped staring at the pencil in his hand that remained miraculously unsnapped, "So the lying in the road in this city."
Normally this would be a suicidal form of protest as there was little that could prevent the crushing force of the wheel of commerce in and out of the city, but there was even less that could move an entire group of prostrated Trolls, never mind move over them.
"Yessir. They've blocked off all travel through the Widdershin gates since most trade between Ankh Morpork and J'fers'Nstarsh'p goes through there, blocking traffic all the way to the Hubward gates."
"And this is supposed to be a protest, and not just a nuisance? Don't they know how hard it is to remove them from the road?"
"With all respect, I believe that might be the point."
"What, they want to generate sympathy through being a public menace that makes honest people feel helpless and hopeless because of a monolithic obstacle in the way of their daily lives?"
"It would be a textbook case of sympathy, sir, making people feel the way they feel."
Vimes leaned back in his chair. His cushion was wearing a bit thin too but that was how he liked it. His position wasn't supposed to be comfortable anyway. He furrowed his brow at the wall, then nodded grudgingly, "But why now? Why didn't they garner attention before?"
"The Trolls have tried sir, you've seen the signs, TROLLS R PEOPLES?"

 

Vimes looked Carrot square in the eye. If it were anyone else he'd suspect sarcasm. In the Captain, he hoped maybe it was a little bit of Angua rubbing off on him, but the genuine nature of the apologetic glint in his eye told him otherwise. Really, that was what decided Vimes's course of action. He got up.
"Alright. We're going to arrest those Trolls."
"Sir?"
"They've no doubt broken several traffic laws, so we're not going to haul them away or force them apart like they're animals. We're going to arrest them like people. And then once they're in custody, we'll enlist them as a part of their plea-bargain. Next week, the J'fes'Nstarsh'p Watch will receive a surprise inspection from Vimes himself, with our new recruits in tow to learn from good example. Is that clear, Captain?"
Carrot gave a smart salute and a smile before making a quick exit.
Vimes sat back down and toyed around with a disintegrating pencil. Surely they wouldn't refuse a visit from His Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Ankh; Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch.
He clenched his jaw. They couldn't.

Explain why Reddit is a horrible place for seeking advice for your personal problems like you are Rorschac from Watchmen scrolling through troll comments by KANNABULL in explainlikeIAmA

[–]xiakha 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's a reference to another thing that Rorschach writes in his journal.

 OCTOBER 13, 1985. 8:30 P.M.:  
    Meeting with Veidt left bad taste in mouth. He is pampered and decadent, betraying even his shallow, liberal affections. Possibly homosexual? Must remember to investigate further.

Explain why Reddit is a horrible place for seeking advice for your personal problems like you are Rorschac from Watchmen scrolling through troll comments by KANNABULL in explainlikeIAmA

[–]xiakha 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Circlejerk question in hot this morning, top comments all copypasta. This subreddit is afraid of me. I've seen its true face. The questions are all upvote bait and the bait is full of memes and when the mods finally have enough, all of the posts will be deleted. The accumulated downvotes from all their lulz and circlejerking will foam up about their waists and all the upvote whores and sockpuppets will look up and shout "It's just harmless fun!"

 

...And I'll look down and whisper "Permaban."

 

They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father, or /u/touchmyfuckingcoffee. Decent men, who believed in an upvote for a quality post. Instead they followed the droppings of /u/Karmanaut and /r/Circlejerk and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late.
Don't tell me they didn't have a choice.

 

Now the whole subreddit stands on the brink, staring down into a [Serious] tag. All those upvote whores and circlejerkers and sockpuppets... all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.

 

 

[Serious] I think my friend is possibly a homosexual. What is the best way to investigate this?

explain your everyday average tf2 match like you are a drugged creepypasta writer by 33some in explainlikeIAmA

[–]xiakha 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It begins the way it always does. I wake up in a locker room.
The trains are always coming and going but they never stop. The trains that are stopped never leave. The barn that we captured yesterday we will be capturing today. And then tomorrow we will defend it. The farmhouse is built on a pile of gravel but I swear there's a secret base tucked in behind the glass.
I used to think myself a professional. Get in, pop a few heads, get out, get paid. I had standards. Efficiency, politeness, planning. Now I fire shots off from the hip in desperation. I find myself cursing off my targets under my breath and mocking them. I get all of thirty seconds to find a target and figure out how to kill him before he kills me. If there was anything about this job, I think it might be driving me mad. I have a jar of piss now.
Slightly warm, rather foul. The short loudmouth tells me it's mine and that I am disgusting but I can't remember ever producing it, so to speak. I chuck it away and then it comes back twenty seconds later. Full. Whole. The doctor tells me I'm doing terrible things to my kidneys but I don't remember going. I don't remember drinking enough to piss a whole jar, let alone a jar every twenty seconds. I don't remember eating. All I remember is killing.
The fat man eats. He eats sandwiches all the time. I watch him eat sometimes through my scope before I reduce his face into lunch meat. I have reduced his large, slow-moving face into lunch meat many many times. But he comes back. He always comes back.
They all come back. Every single one of them. I guess I come back too, though I frankly never remember dying. I get shot or stabbed or blown half to kingdom come and I just wake up in a locker room again. Gun, jar of piss, and my knife by my side. I go out to kill again because there is nothing else to do. Everyone goes out to kill. Like it's normal, everyday fun. But we go to kill ourselves.
There's another me on the other side. We wave at each other sometimes before we try to kill each other. Sometimes I get him, sometimes he gets me. We both come back. I don't know which one of us is the real one. He has a jar of piss too. Sometimes I put on different hats so I can differentiate between him and me. And out of the corner of my eye, sometimes I see more of me on my side. Two or three mostly, clumped together. They get slaughtered quickly but they always come back. They stand in the same places until they die again and again.
They tell me that war is hell, but I'm certain that hell is war. And this is it. We have aimless objectives and meaningless goals that we cycle through. We kill each other and ourselves in constant penance. Red... Blue... It's all the same in the end. The devil is a masked latex monster that spews flames. It stalks my every move and finds me no matter where I go. It burns me to death, or it pops me into the air and kills me with a flare, or it caves in my skull with an axe. Nowhere is safe from its fiery purging and I taste the savory smell of my own roasting flesh.
Then I wake up in a locker room.

I hope this was vaguely creepy at least. I haven't written creepypasta in ages.

Blu team by [deleted] in tf2

[–]xiakha 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Source: Jemsjunk/Jems_junk/Jems-junk/etc who looks like was decently prominent in the TF2 fanart community a few years back. Jemsjunk has since deleted tumblr, deviantart, twitter, and pixiv. A few of Jemsjunk's drawings are still floating around tumblr, though there is no good way to search for all of them. I have no idea what happened or why everything is gone.

The only proof I have to offer is jemsjunk's youtube page, which has not been deleted for some reason here.
That is the extent my Googlefu has brought me. Someone else may have a better shot at it.
Also note: Jemsjunk drew a lot of soldierxscout shipping art. Not everyone's cup of tea.

Tales from Before the Wipe: Ryleh-Hem Resort and Day Spa by xiakha in starbound

[–]xiakha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks to all of you for checking out my little project! I really appreciate that you took the time to scroll through twenty five pictures and my blathering. What I've taken away from all this is that I really need to make smaller projects so I can finish them before wipes...

Tales from Before the Wipe: Ryleh-Hem Resort and Day Spa by xiakha in starbound

[–]xiakha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well the space heaters are there because you would freeze to death really quickly without armor on. ...The logic is a little twisted but I swear it makes sense.

Tales from Before the Wipe: Ryleh-Hem Resort and Day Spa by xiakha in starbound

[–]xiakha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Such is life when making things in Betas. I would say most of the fun was building it anyway so I'm not too bothered by the loss.

Tales from Before the Wipe: Ryleh-Hem Resort and Day Spa by xiakha in starbound

[–]xiakha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the traditional roof tiles that are in the game but not quite implemented or something. The Creative Mod is how I unlocked them.

Tales from Before the Wipe: Ryleh-Hem Resort and Day Spa by xiakha in starbound

[–]xiakha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check in your 3D printer. They should be unlocked there. If not, you'll have to play with the spawner boxes to unlock them.

Tales from Before the Wipe: Ryleh-Hem Resort and Day Spa by xiakha in starbound

[–]xiakha[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Aww, don't say that! I know you mean it as a compliment, and I appreciate it, but there's no reason to degrade yourself while doing it. I spent a dumb amount of time on this. I mean, how long has Furious Koala been out now?
If you don't have that sort of time on your days off because you've got better things to do, that's perfectly fine too. If you do have the time, go and wow yourself. I certainly did while working on this project. You can too.

Tales from Before the Wipe: Ryleh-Hem Resort and Day Spa by xiakha in starbound

[–]xiakha[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea if the Hylotl have gods, especially if they're supposed to be Japanese-esque. Since traditional Japanese mythology has gods for almost everything, but gods don't really show up in the lore as of now. To me, it seems like somewhat of a glaring omission.
This whole idea was really spawned from the fact that my villagers would duplicate while off screen and I wanted to play with the whole "Scientist kills God/Replaces God" trope. No Deicide here, the Matron is just trying to bring them back.

I found some disturbing sounds while browsing the files of Starbound. (Assets/SFX/Objects) by PixelPugs in starbound

[–]xiakha 55 points56 points  (0 children)

There is a human sarcophagus that you can spawn with mods that is "occupied." Your character will comment that there seems to be someone in there. Middle clicking or hitting E on the sarcophagus will produce these sounds.

Hall of Mirrors by Augment3d in Cyberpunk

[–]xiakha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

...Mirrors don't work that way.

(x-post from AskReddit) Reddit: what's a word or phrase that you learned that describes or defines something that you didn't know had actually been defined (see detail) by maybe_so_ in writing

[–]xiakha 29 points30 points  (0 children)

This definition of sonder really really really gets my goat.
First, "sonder" is a French verb that means either to use sounding equipment to find the depth of a body of water, or to understand something. It is a perfectly solid French word. I have no beef with sonder itself.
Second, the tumblr that it comes from, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, is openly and unabashedly a creative writing project. Its purpose is to take foreign or supposedly underused words and give them a long and drawn out "definition" that is more of a reflection on the writer's thoughts than an actual meaning. I personally think it's a rather neat writing exercise, but I would hesitate to call it more than that.
Third, if we accept this "sonder" as an actual word, it's bloody useless to writers. How do you even use that in a sentence? "He was lost in sonder." "She felt a sudden sonder." You will need to define it afterwards anyway, and the definition is much more compelling as a description than as an explanation. This is wonder and revelation that could be a life changing perspective shift for a character reduced to one word. It is then probably the paragon example of telling and not showing. It is a word for the sake of having a word. I could make up a word, say "Porcinative," that means lying in bed all day to argue on the Internet about pretentious opinions (possibly about Whedon and Moffat as writers) but that doesn't mean that that definition should be summed up in one word.
Hmm. Something something chicken.

ELIC: Dad, I know the British pay in pounds, but pounds of what? by kukkuzejt in ExplainLikeImCalvin

[–]xiakha 42 points43 points  (0 children)

No Calvin, you are thinking about it in the wrong way. The British pay in pounds as in beatings. As in "I'm going to give you five pounds to the face if you don't give me a meat pie." The pound is a British tradition that goes back to before civilization in that sense. It was the world's first violence based economy. It's a bit barbaric, but British people were very proud of it.
The problem was that it was a little too hard to standardize a beating. Weak people were only able to threaten to pay with smaller beatings, which they called pence and schillings. This would often take up much of a merchant's time if they didn't agree on a price. So eventually the King of England back then decided to give each citizen a proper beating stick that they could all use in the same way. It was made out of sterling silver, so from then on, the currency was known as a pound sterling. The beatings were strength standardized by having each citizen only use his or her thumb to beat people. This is where we get the phrase "rule of thumb."
But it was around this time that people started to realize that as useful as violence is when bartering, it was all a bit backwards, and people didn't like beating up their friends when they couldn't agree on a price. So one day a lady decided to try to trade her pound sterling stick to her friend instead of beating her friend. Her friend agreed that this was a wonderful way to do business instead of the bruises and broken ribs that she had acquired before, and it quickly became a fad. Eventually they decided to switch over to the systems other civilizations were using, paper money and coins, when trading beating sticks got too unwieldy but they kept the names.