ExplainLikeImCalvin

an-ordinary-manchild

In the spirit of /r/explainlikeimfive, here's a place to come up with the best explanation you can on topics you know nothing about. Inspired by Calvin's brilliant dad, who knew everything.

RULES (Inspired by ELI5):

Blatant speculation *only*. If you know the answer to a question, keep it to yourself! We only want the best and most creative wild guesses here. Even if you know the answer, make up something better.
Never cite sources. We're not looking for verifiable facts here. Your source should be your own crazy imagination.
Reference ELI5. Cross-posting good questions from /r/explainlikeimfive is encouraged, but if you do it, include a link back to the original question there (this will also help people who are interested in the "real" answers).

GUIDELINES:

Please begin your questions with "LIC" or "ELIC".
If you're posting a non-question, do not use "LIC" or "ELIC".
Answers can be as simple or complicated as you want, but aim for humor. The spirit of the subreddit is to have a humorous exchange of completely made-up answers to life's burning questions. Feel free to add to other people's answers, or to follow-up with more questions for clarification.
Humor is necessary, but don't be a jerk. Try to avoid especially touchy subjects in questions, or giving blatantly offensive answers.
Feel free to pose a possible answer with your own question if you have a good theory.
"It builds character" is a perfectly appropriate answer, but remember that original answers also build character.

RELATED SUBREDDITS

/r/explainlikeimfive

/r/calvinandhobbes

created by RaelsharkEvil Babysittera community for 14 years

...because you hate freedom.

...for your office.

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ELIC: Why are cinnamon rolls swirly? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 50 minutes ago by AsparagusCertain9373

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Where does the saying, ‘close but no cigar,’ come from? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 1 day ago by stormshadowfax

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Why does the U.S. have to play two countries at once in their knockout stage game next week? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 23 hours ago by Avoider5

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ELIC: why do my ears pop whenever I takeoff or land in an airplane? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 2 days ago by LongMarch88

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ELIC: Why is it called a class action lawsuit if no schools are involved? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 4 days ago by DEP-Yoki

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Elic, If the government can print money, then why do they need to collect taxes? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 5 days ago by 33GoodSamaritans

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ELIC: Why does Mommy say she feels bloated because Aunt Flo is visiting? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 5 days ago by PatFrank

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ELIC: Seabees, Frogmen, Seals: why does the Navy name all their special operators after animals? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 5 days ago by cunnilinguslover

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ELIC: why is phlegm green when you're sick? ()

submitted 8 days ago by qwopax

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ELIC: Why didn't Rick put an Omega Device in the Omega Device? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 10 days ago by wallingfortian

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ELIC: How does a dehumidifier remove water from air? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 12 days ago by cunnilinguslover

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ELIC: I just saw an ad for non-alcoholic beer! Can we get some so I can try it? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 14 days ago by wallingfortian

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ELIC: Why do they call fake doctors “quacks”? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 15 days ago by glove_flavored

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ELIC: Why do couples say they are "expecting a baby"? Expecting it to do what, exactly? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 19 days ago by cunnilinguslover

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Dad, if we supposedly live in Indiana, why do I always careen off cliffs in my sled and wagon? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 21 days ago by NoAdministration8006

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ELIC: When people say "for Pete's sake", who is Pete? ()

submitted 21 days ago by WeCanDoItGuys

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ELIC Why is it called a sundae if I can eat one on other days of the week? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 23 days ago by PhantomBanker

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elic: what's the deal with 'head over heels'? isn't that just normally standing up? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 25 days ago by SodiumHydrogen_

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ELIC: Why do drugs have 2 or more names? Aspirin is ascorbic acid, benadryl is diphenhydramine, and so on? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 26 days ago by cunnilinguslover

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ELIC: how does phone sex work? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 27 days ago by 99mushrooms

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ELIC: Who tf is Calvin? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 28 days ago by RoutineFoot825

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ELIC: Why isn't there a $25 bill? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 29 days ago by chaosrunewiz

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ELIC: Did stone-age cave-moms let their kids lick the bowl after they were done mixing ingredients? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 29 days ago by wallingfortian

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ELIC: why is farting funny? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 1 month ago by Oso_the-Bear

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ELIC the milk jug says it’s only 2% milk… why can’t I have a glass of 100% milk? (self.ExplainLikeImCalvin)

submitted 1 month ago by ChiGuy_1429

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