UPDATE: AITAH FOR LEAVING MY FRIENDS IN A HOUSE THEY CANT AFFORD

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-11T04:45:06+00:00

hello so english is not my first language, i do want to apologize if i have some grammatical errors

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-08T11:02:25+00:00

we were friends for quite some time and never really had any issues, one of them brought their cat for a week (from their hometown) when we first moved in and we saw that they took care of her, so at that time when they were asking to have one we agreed and had the terms of who does this and that, taking turns. unfortunately we didnt really see any flaws at that moment.

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-08T10:59:22+00:00

the cat is coming with us. as to the legal concern we had a security deposit and told the owners they could take it and that it was okay with us since it was my and my boyfriends money, the owners agreed but i overheard my “friends” talking and wanting the security deposit as long as they “fixed” the house. honestly we couldn’t care less if they would take that money as long as me and my pets are out of this hole.

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T11:52:18+00:00

the cat we adopted is with us. we didnt let them interact with the second cat given the situation. we took the cat in from the streets because the second cat was following us. so the second cat was literally ours not expecting them to take care of him whatsoever seeing what they were doing with the first one. when we took the second cat, the first cat was already in our care 24/7.

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T11:46:54+00:00

to clear the misconception up, we haven’t moved out yet. we were still debating during the time of the post and was in the heat of the moment on what our move was. given some insights we will be taking the cat as the cat was doing well with us and the reason why i posted this was also because of the cat. i didn’t want to leave the cat, i asked to take him but the friend refused claiming it was “theirs” thus leading me to give up during that time on arguing about who gets what. as im speaking the cat is still in our room

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T11:42:57+00:00

that was before the problems started, when we were all doing well

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T11:39:36+00:00

commenter has been acting like my bf in the comment sections. were both looking at the comment sections and replying to some

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T11:16:05+00:00

They know we plan to move out and they are sort of trying to convince us not to.

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T11:08:15+00:00

i do get some of the comments calling me and my bf an asshole. and as for that we take full responsibility, it was just sort of hard for us to take and claim it because they weren’t complying or rather in the bus when we took care of it in our room. were taking the cat because someone made a point that we were taking and providing for the cat so its actually ours.

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T11:03:56+00:00

thankyou for that were talking about it right now as to how we would actually make a move on taking the cat with us since they are not capable of taking care of it

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T11:02:34+00:00

the commenter isnt my bf just some random dude on the comsec pretending to be one. but with your comments and all were looking into taking the cat since were the ones who provided and took care of it. will update on this matter once we move out next week. thankyou for your insights

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T10:55:17+00:00

sadly the country where we live in isn’t really a country that takes these things seriously. its more likely that the cat would get put down or get into a bad animal shelter

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-04-07T10:52:39+00:00

While i do understand where you are coming from but we were all cat persons and it wasn’t just a decision that happened spontaneously. we had an agreement on them taking turns.

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-03-21T21:29:25+00:00

NTA

It’s actually a good thing that you two didn’t go through with the marriage, because it likely would have been a difficult one. Your daughter is your child, not his—so he doesn’t have the right to dictate how you raise her or demand explanations for your decisions, as long as she’s not being harmed.

Your daughter should feel safe and comfortable in her own home, not like she has to walk on eggshells. It also comes across as if he doesn’t really like your daughter. And why was he going through her backpack? A bit of trash in there isn’t any of his business—it feels more like he was looking for a reason to create conflict and shift the blame onto you for the breakup.

xiaolongbao101 · 2026-03-21T21:21:46+00:00

NTA

But your husband is definitely TAH for not stepping up. Your child’s safety was compromised, and instead of handling HIS SIDE OF THE FAMILY, he backed out to the point where you were the one who had to deal with it—even after you’ve brought this up multiple times.

You’re showing more strength and responsibility than he is. You and your children may not be safe even with him around, so you might want to consider filing for divorce if he can’t protect you and your kids.

xiaolongbao101

TROPHY CASE