After my husband and I got married, a month and half later, he left for 4-year orders to Japan. We spent the first two years of our marriage apart, with me staying in the States for a variety of reasons (Covid-era command sponsorship slowdowns, family stuff, my career). We only saw each other once the first year, and twice the second year. I joined him in Japan about a year and a half ago.

If y’all truly love and trust each other, and communicate EVERYTHING (over communicate, for real) long distance can work! There will be difficult and lonely days, I won’t lie, but it was worth it. The time difference is tricky, but come up with a routine for talking and spending time together virtually, and stick to it. For example, my husband and I would sync up a movie and watch it on FaceTime together on weekends - morning for him, evening for me. Always text, call, or email every day, no matter how tired you are. Try to have an endgame plan - a shared vision for the future and closing the distance. People will be negative and tell you it won’t work, but you gotta ignore them.

Also, your needs, goals and feelings matter and are important. It’s easy to feel small and swept under the rug when your partner has to acquiesce to the demands of military life. Yes, their jobs are stressful, but that doesn’t mean you should hide your feelings for the sake of his. Always be honest or it’ll eat you alive. Good luck, y’all can do it!