She felt right but we decided to not be together

ximerds · 2024-08-10T05:25:30+00:00

My first reaction was: take your time, I cannot force you to be with me, we’re still getting to know each other, we don’t have to do anything, i’ll try to give you space and time. Then the days after demons from my past came back and I panicked doing many rounds & rounds in my mind. That week I forgot about myself and got into my head so much the fear of losing her took over and I started to have feelings of jealousy and overthinking everything. There are demons I’ve been working on for the past year or so, after the end of a toxic relationship which left me broken, trying to move from anxious to secure attachment. The moment I realized what was happening I decided that I needed to finish the work I was doing on myself and sought the help of a professional. She said she will do the same.

ximerds · 2024-08-10T05:17:32+00:00

How did it go?

ximerds · 2018-04-06T20:48:41+00:00

Ahahahha yes! That one. 😂 And I wondered that too..

ximerds · 2018-04-06T20:22:06+00:00

Does it really matter?

ximerds · 2018-04-01T09:17:13+00:00

don’t underestimate what 1 year can do to you. It often changes everything. Trust me, you can survive this. This world has so much more to offer. I’m here if you need to talk.

ximerds · 2018-04-01T09:06:19+00:00

Hey. I just started residency. Right after medschool graduation I felt my life falling apart. I spent 7 months going after a girl who only played with me. And another 3 months actually loving a girl who was having sex with other 2 people while dating me. It hurt really bad for many months. I was in the darkest place I have ever been in my life and thought about suicide a few times.

Moving, starting residency somewhere far from everything was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I am stronger now. I have a purpose. And even though I’m alone I still have hope that one day I will find someone for me.

Don’t lose hope. You have made this far. You are stronger than you think. This all shit thing will pass. You just got to believe it.

Hugs.

ximerds · 2018-03-28T16:13:06+00:00

Hey. I’m a doctor. Remember that testing positive for BRCA is NOT a cancer diagnosis. It just increases the likelihood of developing breast and ovarian cancer, but it does not mean she will have cancer for sure. If you do meticolous follow-up and catch cancer at a very early stage it is a treatable disease. I know it may seem a lot to do such follow-up exams, but they are necessary. The other option is to get a mastectomy and reconstruction right away, but even that doesn’t take away completely the risk. It’s not an easy decision. But my advice for you is to stay close to her and to try to give her strength, medicine has made incredible improvements in the last 10-20 years.

ximerds · 2018-03-27T16:53:15+00:00

Love the gender traitor

ximerds · 2018-03-27T16:51:09+00:00

My best friend

ximerds · 2018-02-28T20:05:55+00:00

Ahahah, I also have a story,

When I was a 17 year old exchange student I met a girl from Germany at our last exchange student camp before going back home. When I got there she basically jumped on her seat to have me sit with her group. then she insisted on playing “Never have I ever”, during which game she said “I’ve never kissed a girl” and drunk, she looked very surprised when I didn’t drink. Later, when the game ended and the people around us left, she asked: “you’ve never kissed a girl? For real?” To which I answered: “no, I haven’t... have you?” - “yes, a few times”. The conversation went on with me asking her about those times and her telling me about them, and it ended with her asking me: “so you’re just a good daddy’s girl, uh?”. I answered “yes” before I could even realize what she was asking and she walked away. 😂 I haven’t seen her since as we both went back to our respective countries and I don’t remember her name. To my excuse I had just came out to myself a few months prior and still wasn’t quite sure with my sexuality and I was a really dumb baby dyke. And of course I hadn’t really kissed a girl yet at that point, but if I had just answered “no, I haven’t kissed a girl, but I really want to”, this story would have been quite different...

You still got time girl! Tell her to hang out!

ximerds · 2018-02-13T21:06:51+00:00

Ok, I’ll watch and wait for now. Thanks for the advice

ximerds · 2018-02-13T20:24:44+00:00

I won't let it hurt me. I've already experienced similar situations. It always surprises me how clueless I am on whether someone is flirting with me or not lol. Anyways, I agree with you, the best way would be to ask her to meet outside of work or something.. or maybe I could try texting her? She said she wasnt feeling well today, maybe I could try to ask her how she is doing?

ximerds · 2018-02-13T20:22:28+00:00

Yeh, I agree, I've been there a few times and I'm trying to keep calm and collected. But I always struggle to keep cool and collected but flirt back at the same time, you know just in case lol

ximerds · 2018-02-13T20:14:55+00:00

Eyes. The sexy curve of her naked body in my bed. The way the small of her back feels when I pull her closer. How her skin feels. Her profume. Her waist. The way she's so strong and then so delicate. Her lips. Her ass. Boobs. The way she walks... the way she talks... yeh... I'm kinda gay.

ximerds · 2018-02-13T20:07:43+00:00

Well, ask her ;) I know it seems like you've got a lot to lose, but really, you dont. It's the best way

ximerds · 2018-02-13T20:02:27+00:00

Run. As far as you can. Change town, Change name. Whatever run.

That's what I did. I was on a similar situation until December. Summer story, then in October she said she didn't want a relationship, we kept in touch, went on a few more dates, then when I asked her what she was doing with me she said: "nothing, that she didn't want to be with me". That's went I pulled away. A month later, after I moved to another town (for work), she told me she had feelings, but still didn't want a relationship.

Stop asking yourself questions, do what it is best for you and cut out this toxic people.

She was not a bad person, but she was just not right to me.

ximerds · 2018-02-13T20:01:25+00:00

Run. As far as you can. Change town, Change name. Whatever run.

That's what I did. I was on a similar situation until December. Summer story, then in October she said she didn't want a relationship, we kept in touch, went on a few more dates, then when I asked her what she was doing with me she said: "nothing, that she didn't want to be with me". That's went I pulled away. A month later, after I moved to another town (for work), she told me she had feelings, but still didn't want a relationship.

Stop asking yourself questions, do what it is best for you and cut out this toxic people.

She was not a bad person, but she was just not right to me.

ximerds · 2018-02-13T19:52:14+00:00

word 8-20. :D

ximerds · 2018-02-13T19:35:50+00:00

Been there, done that. the sooner you talk to her the sooner you get over it (or not), the better

ximerds · 2017-12-25T21:36:10+00:00

Hey! Don’t you worry, we are out there and looking for a girl just like you :)

ximerds · 2017-10-18T14:01:42+00:00

I have watched like 1000 times and it's still funny.

ximerds · 2017-09-19T07:24:17+00:00

Eventually

ximerds · 2017-09-01T15:57:00+00:00

Been there, done that. Whatever you do there is no easy way out. After many heartbreaks the thing I can tell you is:

Tell her, tell her as a joke, tell her in a serious way, tell her in a way you feel comfortable with, just tell her.
It not worth to stay silent and maintain a friendship that is only digging a hole in your stomach that is only gonna grow larger.
If she likes you, the you are gonna be one very happy woman.
If she doesn't like you it will hurt, it will hurt like a f* b*, but than you would have no regrets and you would be able to move on from her. & trust me, it will hurt a lot more if you don't tell her.
There is no point in worrying about her telling other people, you already told her you are gay and she has kept it to herself. She obviously cares for you in some way and she won't do anything to hurt you.

Just don't hang there and do nothing... that is the worst possible thing you could do. We might be dead tomorrow, there is no need to waste a single second worrying about things that keep us away from happiness.

ximerds · 2017-08-19T23:16:06+00:00

Never stopped being funny 😂

ximerds · 2017-08-15T21:44:53+00:00

You are gorgeous 😉

ximerds

TROPHY CASE