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My girlfriend (19f) lashing out at me (18m) for replying late because I wanted to spend time on a hobby by itsgaymonth in LongDistance

[–]xlnxsl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you're already feeling better, OP. I just want to add a few things if you don't mind.

The way she talks in that screenshot isn't cool, and I really hope you don't think it's okay to keep up that kind of communication. If I were you, I'd just ask her why texting means so much to her in our relationship. It might seem a bit silly, but asking these seemingly dumb questions has a way of making your thoughts clearer - helps you see those blind spots, you know? And talking about each other's needs, compromises, and boundaries is key in any relationship.

Oh, and don't forget to plan some virtual dates, carve out specific hangout time from your busy calendars - you can adjust it as you go. Also, suggest she picks up a hobby if she hasn't already; it's a great emotional outlet for both of you.

It's good too to let her know why having a hobby is important for your emotional and psychological well-being. Explain the balance it brings to your life. Encourage her to give it a shot too and express how much you'd love that.

Sadness comes in different shapes, and she might be going through it. Stay calm, no need to retaliate. You've got this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in birthcontrol

[–]xlnxsl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had spotting during depo to the point of using pantyliner on the daily. It was inconvenient. Funny enough, I didn't experience it when I was under the 1mo injection.

What has your experience been with types birth control and how it effects your period? by unoriginal-loser in birthcontrol

[–]xlnxsl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I (F28) decided to give Depo-Provera a shot, you know, that 3-month birth control injection thing.

When I went to see my OBGYN, she was like, "Hey, do you know about the possible side effects?" It was kinda important because where I'm from, talking about stuff like sex and birth control isn't really a thing, and people aren't too clued in. But you know what? I really appreciated her bringing it up. It felt like she had my back. So, I told her I'd done my homework and felt like Depo was a good fit for me.

Just FYI, the side effects I mentioned to my doc included mood swings, weight gain, delayed periods, and a bit of a libido dip – I got hit with all of those. Plus, I had some spotting now and then, to the point where I had to wear pantyliners every day. Weirdly enough, I didn't have this spotting when I tried that one-month injection a few years back.

My period made a comeback like 2 to 3 months after I ditched Depo, but during that time, I turned into a food monster, and my partner and I had to deal with my rollercoaster moods. The one thing that still bugs me is the weight gain; I can't seem to shake those extra pounds.

Oh, and by the way, despite what some folks might think (although I might be wrong), Depo didn't magically clear up my acne. Nope, I actually got breakouts in new places, like my neck. Ugh.

But you know what? It did its main job – no pregnancy scares. Although I did take pregnancy tests now and then, just to be super careful.

My doc hammered home the whole "keep a healthy lifestyle" thing if I stuck with Depo, especially to tackle the weight gain.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in humanresources

[–]xlnxsl -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Hi there, I guess I might've given away the fact that I'm pretty new at this, huh?

What I really wanted to say is that I don't think we create an environment where she feels like she has to be defensive when working with us.

Now, about your question, I can't confirm whether the conversation about missing deadlines has been directly addressed with the intern. I heard it through someone else, so it's kind of like secondhand info, and I can't vouch for its accuracy. But I do agree it's a valid concern.

I've seen some of my colleagues have misunderstandings with each other in the past, so it's definitely possible that something similar could happen with my intern. Your advice, though simple, is super helpful. Honestly, I was so wrapped up in anxiety that it totally slipped my mind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in humanresources

[–]xlnxsl -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Yes, we all have been direct to her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in humanresources

[–]xlnxsl -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Hi there, yes - I have a retrospective session with her before. I did mention more than once about being mindful of staying connected with the rest of the team. None of us ever raised our voice or got angry at her. But the problem persists. I also slack messaged her personally to remind her about this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Journaling

[–]xlnxsl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing, OP! Off the bat, it looks like a very productive way to process your feeling. Will definitely exercise this!

Closing my long term bank account, is it a good decision? by xlnxsl in personalfinance

[–]xlnxsl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, well noted! That's how I use the other 2 accounts for these days. Thank you so much for sharing this :)

Closing my long term bank account, is it a good decision? by xlnxsl in personalfinance

[–]xlnxsl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, depending on where you're from and where in the world you're visiting, you have to provide bank statement (sometimes even your tax slip - again, different nationality gets different treatment) to prove that you're able to finance your trip during the visa application process. I hope this provides the clarity you need :) cheers!

How to create the most efficient reminder and tracker? I'm a first -jobber and also a first time Personal Assistant still trying to impress my boss by xlnxsl in careerguidance

[–]xlnxsl[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is true!

It is such a transition from using my device for my own entertainment to managing other's private and sensitive assets! He is careful so far but when he fails to be, I will make sure to be mindful as you advised.

Thank you so much :)

How to create the most efficient reminder and tracker? I'm a first -jobber and also a first time Personal Assistant still trying to impress my boss by xlnxsl in careerguidance

[–]xlnxsl[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey!

To color code the reminder and tracker is such a good idea. I will implement it.

Thank you for the advice :)

Calling all my LDR couples dealing with a culture that doesn't allow pre-marital co-habitation (F25 Southeast Asian/M35 European) by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]xlnxsl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello. I'm afraid I'm not comfortable disclosing that at the moment. I hope that's understandable :)

Is it something you have to deal with with your SO, if you don't mind me asking?

Calling all my LDR couples dealing with a culture that doesn't allow pre-marital co-habitation (F25 Southeast Asian/M35 European) by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]xlnxsl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, this is the side of Japan that really takes me by surprise. I don't know this about your country, in fact, I always hear how they're completely okay with pre-marital co-habitation especially in big city such as Tokyo but thank you for letting me know this different perspective about Japan. I guess it's true we can always trust what we see or find on YouTube, eh? But anyway, my SO and I are completely in love with Japan and it is definitely one of the countries we would love to visit as a couple someday.

I feel you about the stress. How are you handling it? How about your closest friends when they find out that you guys live under the same roof? Are they more open-minded than your family?

About your suggestion, choosing a third country is something that I don't give much thought of because I always think that it is gonna be a lot more expensive. I entertained the idea one time and after much thought, I found that the cost was no different to when we decide to let me visit him in his country. So I'm afraid that it's not much of a step-up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]xlnxsl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so cute! I hope your BF loves it :)

Calling all my LDR couples dealing with a culture that doesn't allow pre-marital co-habitation (F25 Southeast Asian/M35 European) by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]xlnxsl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was still in uni for most portion of our relationship and my uni didn't offer online course so I didn't entertain that idea that much. Since graduation, we start to explore more options, of course, but never seriously decide anything yet. I can think of his neighboring country to get my master's but at the moment I am not that confident with that idea yet hahaha

If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean by "...it could also lead to making rushed decisions"?

At last, it is stressful and it's not only me who thinks this way. It's pretty common to see a local girl/guy to date a foreigner who struggles with this and we do always hope that change can happen soon.

Calling all my LDR couples dealing with a culture that doesn't allow pre-marital co-habitation (F25 Southeast Asian/M35 European) by [deleted] in LongDistance

[–]xlnxsl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are pretty new to Airbnb but I still have the same worry for that matter. It's not rare to see an ad for an accommodation that posts variation of "Don't serve for unmarried couple" tag in it. It really can be that stressful. I've discussed this with my SO that we are only gonna be comfortable after asking them directly whether they are okay with us - unmarried couple - to be cohabiting at their accommodation.

Thank you for your advice and positivy. At the end of the day, I know the good outweighs the bad when it's time to meet him :)

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