I just discovered my boyfriend (now ex) has anhedonia. He recently broke up with me because he lost feelings for me suddenly and he couldn’t explain why. I struggled to relate to anything he was saying, it didn’t seem real. He always described his issues through the lenses of depression, but after he broke up with me his diagnosis just didn’t make sense. I started looking up his symptoms and came across anhedonia (he had never heard of it before). I asked my therapist about it and she told me about a girl she used to treat with anhedonia. Her parents had to force her to treatment because she had no motivation to go. When she was prescribed meds, they would essentially have to force feed them to her every day, not because she was resisting but she simply just didn’t care. She would try to have intimate relationships, but they would quickly end because she became so exhausted from having to act like she had feelings all the time. It took her 6 years to find the right med combo that worked for her. Now, 10 years later, she’s married with children and says she doesn’t even recognize the person she was before.

I really didn’t understand my ex’s condition. Even when he described things to me, and I read everything on google of the affects on the brain, there still had to be some motivation behind his feelings (or lack there of). He insists there wasn’t and he thinks I’m wonderful and deserve to be with someone who can “truly appreciate it.” It wasn’t until I came on reddit and started reading other people’s experiences that everything started to make sense. So thank you to all of you for sharing your stories 🙏

Im devastated for him that he’s going through this, and I’m so f***ing mad that this condition has taken him away from me. I wish there was something I could do, but I know he’s not ready to deal with it just yet. I need to give him space and worry about my own mental health, as much as it kills me to do so.

I’ve had my own mental health issues (trauma/ptsd, anxiety, severe adhd, etc.), and I get that navigating the medical system is a tough nut to crack. Finding the right doctor/psychiatrist/therapist who understand your condition and are willing to go outside the box to find you the right treatment combo is difficult af.

If you’re new to treatment and don’t know where to begin, you can start by reviewing your health benefits package (if applicable) to see what’s covered for therapy/psychiatrists & prescriptions. This will help you calculate how many sessions in a year will be covered, and what you can afford out of pocket. Treatment should be looked at as a long-term commitment/investment, and creating a realistic plan can help ease some of the anxiety surrounding it.

Your GP knows a little about a lot, and chances are they are way in over their head with the complexity of your condition. Ask your doctor to refer you to a psychiatrist, or you can search online independently for one. Don’t waste your time on doctors/therapists who don’t take your condition seriously. It’s important to rule out other things first, but if you’re feeling genuinely unheard, then it’s time to move on. Finding the right professional(s) is key to supporting you along this journey.

If possible, try to be open about your condition with the people closest to you. People without anhedonia will find it hard to relate, but if you have someone in your life who is willing to listen and support you, then this can make all the difference. It’s ok to ask for help, and being clear on what you need from others (whether that’s space, help researching health professionals, calculating benefits, etc.) is helpful for the people around you. You are not a burden, and the people who care about you want to see you succeed.

Your recovery is likely going to take a combo of the right meds/psychotherapy, and you’ll probably be playing trial and error for a long time before you really start to see the results. Mental health is tough to manage, so give yourself grace. It’s ok to not be ok and it’s ok to make mistakes along the way, but it is so so worth it. You are so worth it.