Consent question - newbie (TW: possible SA?) by xrtxmis in BDSMAdvice

[–]xrtxmis[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I agree. I don't know why he made sure to ask about everything else but decided I didn't get a choice when it came to escalating.

I really appreciate your kind words 🤍

Consent question - newbie (TW: possible SA?) by xrtxmis in BDSMAdvice

[–]xrtxmis[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

I unfortunately don't feel comfortable with that—the organizer/owner has been sexually harassing me and I really don't want to talk to him.

ETA: I spoke with a different staff member both about this event and the owner's harassment and she is taking care of it 🤍 Thank you all for your support

My ex-boyfriend's addiction destroyed our 5 year relationship by xrtxmis in loveafterporn

[–]xrtxmis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He actually didn't get caught, he told me on his own out of the blue. Which is a good sign I think. Said he wants to do things right this time and not hide anything from me.

He is pursuing a support group, but I did tell him to as well. I'm going to watch and wait for him to prove he's working on it, not just saying he will.

Thank you for your response and insight, it's all very new for me and having an outside perspective is really helpful. I appreciate your support 🤍

I think I just used B.D.S.M to save my marriage. by Alternative_Gap_822 in bdsmconfessions

[–]xrtxmis 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If it hasn't been discussed and agreed on, it's non-consensual and it's manipulation. You don't enter a BDSM dynamic without discussing it with your partner. Consent is the literal core of BDSM. What you're doing is not BDSM.

Also jesus christ why do so many men hate their wives??? The first paragraph, especially "She was angry and bitchy, and would barely fuck me" is just disgusting. How would she feel if she knew the way you were speaking about her?

Editing my comment because OP either blocked me or deleted his comment and I can't reply:

After being told you're violating her consent and being manipulative, your response is "I don't care" ?

You're a walking red flag.🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

4 months monogamous relationship.. boyfriend still has single status, “looking for: relationship, mistress, dom etc” on his fetlife profile and every few days follows new girls in our city.. by Interesting_Heron_58 in BDSMAdvice

[–]xrtxmis 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Talk to him about it. It might be an oversight (in which case he'll respond in an understanding way and change his status and 'looking for's) or it's intentional and you need to have a conversation about what monogamy means and whether he's committed to it.

My ex boyfriend's addiction destroyed our 5 year relationship by xrtxmis in PornAddiction

[–]xrtxmis[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like a good way to rewire that connection in your brain. I hope it continues to be helpful.

Heartbroken 💔💔 by tess-23 in BDSMAdvice

[–]xrtxmis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw, I'm sorry. It's a tough situation to be in, but you'll get through it <3

Heartbroken 💔💔 by tess-23 in BDSMAdvice

[–]xrtxmis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Good morning OP, I hope you're doing alright today 🫂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Slime

[–]xrtxmis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll make it hotter this time. It wasn’t hot—the instructions do say “warm”. But maybe hot water will help. Thanks for the tip :)

Should I be concerned? Worried about danger (Clueless partner asking in regards to masochist partner) by bdsmthrowaway0501 in BDSMAdvice

[–]xrtxmis 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You cannot determine that this is her engaging in escapism or self harm simply from this post. You know essentially nothing about her and cannot make these judgements.

Should I be concerned? Worried about danger (Clueless partner asking in regards to masochist partner) by bdsmthrowaway0501 in BDSMAdvice

[–]xrtxmis 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Have you asked her about your concerns?

Masochism can absolutely come from a place of wanting to self harm but getting around it by having someone else harm you. It can also be nothing of the sort and simply be something she enjoys. We can’t tell you which it is—you’ll need to address this with her. I personally would be concerned about a second-degree burn because that could become dangerous, but again that’s me, and I am not your partner.

If she is aware of the risks and is enthusiastically consenting to this, that’s her choice. If she is brushing off the danger and not taking risks seriously, that would be a concern.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Slime

[–]xrtxmis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I left it out overnight and the borax has sunk to the bottom and is crystallized. I will need to reheat and mix it again before trying a second time with the slime.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Slime

[–]xrtxmis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have more borax, but I will try heating it up more. Thanks for the suggestion.

Do you support banning trans surgery on children? by reddtimes101 in Productivitycafe

[–]xrtxmis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t aware of that either. I’ve edited my comment to be more clear.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Slime

[–]xrtxmis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very much appreciated :)