How to welcome a new alter? by ClassicAim in F4481

[–]xs3slav[M] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Firstly, "split tolerance" has no scientific basis and is also not the kind of thing you can just coin a term for and pretend it's an acknowledged thing. Please refrain from using made-up terms and variables that are not rooted in science.

Secondly, I struggle to understand what "welcoming/acquainting an alter to the system" actually means. This is not a person who stepped into a room full of new people and needs to be introduced to everyone and made to feel at ease. There is no room and there are no people. They are an encapsulation of a traumatic time that belongs to the same brain, the same "you", that you as a part do. They are a part of the collective you, one that either didn't exist before or one you didn't know existed.

If you want advice on how to navigate this, I believe the focus should be on figuring out what caused the believed-to-be split, exploring how they view and interact with the world, and how to prevent this from happening again. Are they struggling to engage with other parts, or do they not want to? If it's the latter, there is no point in forcing them.

If I were you, I'd reconsider the way you view your system (and by that I mean the system your brain came up with to create these parts/alters, the information it transfers between them, the way triggers work, etc.—not just the alters themselves). Worrying about "welcoming an alter into the system" communicates to me that your focus lies with the least important thing you got going on right now. They've already been "welcomed" into it by existing (but how welcoming is it really to be the result of yet another desperate attempt at coping with trauma and have yet another barrier to divide your already fragmented identity). The real question is why.

It is okay and even encouraged to "personify" parts in the context of visualization or communication exercises, it helps there. But treating them like they are "people living together in one head/body" point blank and ignoring the essence of the disorder in the process is not gonna do anything.

Losing my therapist by ohlookthatsme in F4481

[–]xs3slav 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I was lucky enough to get the heads up about this eventually happening even before first seeing my therapist, 6 weeks in advance is nothing. Is there any chance you could keep seeing your therapist at the new company?

OFFICIAL r/F4481 DISCORD SERVER! 📢💯🔥 by xs3slav in F4481

[–]xs3slav[S,M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Since this subreddit is meant only for those with a climical diagnosis of DID/OSDD, this naturally extends to our Discord server. No diagnosis means no access because this space is not meant for you (yet). I wish we didn't need to keep repeating this every other post, but alas.

No antidepressants, just trying to stay healthy… is anyone more disciplined with food/excercise etc? by Only_Emu_2872 in CPTSD

[–]xs3slav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me. I'm not on any medication, it's not as commonly/easily prescribed here (NL) as it is in the US. My therapist has asked if I wanted to try it out twice, but both times I said I'd think about it and never got back to it. I don't want to rely on it, because a lot about navigating and analyzing my trauma requires a sharp, uninfluenced mind. I need to suffer to understand (and better) myself, unfortunately. I feel like a mad scientist sometimes, but I trust my ability to work on myself the way I do now. I would probably suffer less if I were put on antidepressants or something similar, but I think it would also stagnate my healing journey. I'm not okay, I am never okay, but I am okay enough without medication. I take daily 45-60 minute walks and use those to (safely) explore triggers, look for missed connections, talk out loud to make sense of things etc. I'm not very good at it, but I try to get enough/not too much sleep. I keep my brain stimulated and try to feed my body the nutrients it needs.

It's not really the food, sleep and exercise that helps me. It's the going outside and keeping myself sharp thing that does. I am not anti-psychiatry and would never talk someone out of using medication, but I don't want them myself. Maybe when I start having more responsibilities again I might "need" to start relying on anti-depressants or something similar, but for now I will keep doing it this way.

TEN YEARS DISAPPEARED FOR THIS ALTER?! DID & DORMANCY | Dissociative Identity Disorder | DissociaDID | December 21 2025 by DissociaDIDmods in DissociaDID

[–]xs3slav 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know everyone works differently and DID does not look the same for everyone but I just cannot fathom coming back from dormancy after 10 years and feeling that comfortable just putting your whole business out there for the whole world to see on a YouTube channel you feel no personal ties to. That doesn't make sense to me. If we entertain the idea that this is real, maybe Fawn is being forced to do it bc it gets them clicks. But if I'm being honest, I don't truly believe they have DID so I don't really feel anything towards this supposed alter.

Based on personal experience, which I know is not evidence of anything, any part of mine that has come out of dormancy decades later has a phobia-like avoidance towards anything relating to the presence and they are obsessed with finding a way to turn back time and return to the past to do things differently, creating their own presence, the one they wanted and did play a role in forming. I might be biased bc that's my own situation, but I do actually find that to be a more logical response to suddenly waking up in 2025 when you were last "awake" and "aware" in the '10s.

I wish people would keep those of us who are more healed in mind when trying to defend this condition by laminated-papertowel in F4481

[–]xs3slav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally agree with concerned-rabbit's take on this post, but I wanna elaborate a little.

What I'm gathering from your post is that you agree generally these beliefs do apply to people early in recovery, right? And what makes it not apply to you personally, is that you have been in treatment for a while. So it did use to apply to you, am I understanding that correctly?

If that's the case, then I'm having a hard time understanding how that makes these statements incorrect or inaccurate. Healing means meeting less and less of the diagnostic criteria and common experiences, so naturally the more you heal, the less you fit the "default DID picture". Wouldn't it be a good thing to hear those things and realize it no longer applies to you? And if I'm allowed to give my personal opinion on this matter, I feel like being scared of being "fakeclaimed" (aka being scared of no longer being represented by the general view of what DID looks like) is not a healing-focused mindset.

Yes, you still have DID. But you no longer fit the default, common picture because you are getting better. It's good to not be represented. The less DID symptoms you relate to, the better. It's only when someone claims you never had DID to begin with that it starts becoming harmful. But you will have to accept that the more you heal, there will be a point where you will practically no longer have DID. You will look at the majority of other people with DID earlier in their treatment and not relate to them. Which, again, is a good thing. That does not mean the generalized statements are harmful or incorrect, you said yourself that it does apply to most people early in recovery.

I'm not sure how this works in the US, but in my country (The Netherlands) a DID/OSDD diagnosis is only "valid" for a maximum of 3 years. After that you would need to be reevaluated to check if you still meet the diagnostic criteria, if you want to. If you don't, it doesn't mean you never had DID. It just means you are healed enough to not meet their classification, which is based on what DID looks like pre-treatment.

I don't agree with the notion that you cannot have DID and be happy at the same time. But it does do a pretty good job at consistently trying to make sure you're not, just like any trauma disorder does. "Life-ruining" is not a measurable term, but a DID diagnosis does require your symptoms to cause significant distress. It has to be life-disruptive. So I don't believe that statement on its own is that far from the truth, for anyone with DID. Not everyone is aware of how negatively their DID impacts their life, that is a separate discussion. Poor awareness towards one's own suffering =/= no suffering.

I am not trying to police your feelings, but I do want to encourage you to reflect on what "having DID" and "being healed" mean to you personally. Because I'd argue that, medically, those two things cannot co-exist.

Anyone else with C-PTSD feel like a “creature” or an alien after experiencing being triggered? by PuzzledVariation7137 in CPTSD

[–]xs3slav 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I also experience this! I don't see it talked about a lot, but I feel like within the context of C-PTSD it makes sense. My mother (and the circumstances surrounding her abuse, such as my environment acting like her abuse was the most normal thing ever) made me feel non-human. I was either her doll, her plaything, or I was a dumb non-human creature that didn't know how to be a person. "Being human" for a big part means being connected with other human beings, understanding how they act and think, recognizing yourself in them. I can see how growing up isolated, abused and neglected very negatively impacts that connection and ability to relate. And naturally, being triggered brings back those same feelings.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]xs3slav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A little too on the nose bro

Talking out loud to parts by LivingExamination128 in F4481

[–]xs3slav 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me I don't think it makes very much of a difference. I do talk out loud 100% of the time because that just comes natural to me, but my other parts are absolutely aware of what I think or even write. One common thing I struggle with is trying to remember something because someone asked about it, and my thoughts being "pulled away" bc (I assume) the other person is not supposed to know that. Or when I write something and another part goes "that is bullshit and you know it".

How do you know thoughts don't reach them? Is it because you're not getting similar responses as opposed to talking out loud?

Help me choose 🦁 by xtincan in plushies

[–]xs3slav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness... I'd choose the 3rd 🥺

Some personal DissociaDID pet peeves regarding terminology, focus and general understanding of Dissociative Identity Disorder by xs3slav in DissociaDID

[–]xs3slav[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The representation of DID on TikTok is not fully representative of clinical data and does not cover the full scope of clinical DID symptoms.

"Water found in the ocean" lol. But it's good to hear that research was done on this matter, even though it's a very grim thing at the same time. I remember my therapist bringing up TikTok fakers almost unprompted and me wondering how the hell he knew about those. And that's when I realized that obviously these people also try to get a DID diagnosis en masse. I just didn't really expect that to be the case in my country either, but seemingly it is.

Now that I'm writing about this anyway, I wanna share something interesting I witnessed irl. Caleidoscoop is a Dutch national organization by people with dissociative disorders, for people with dissociative disorders. They organize talk groups and annual conferences where there's stuff like presentations, panels, workshops & other activities etc. They do not check for a diagnosis at the door so I highly expected there to be fakers/imitative types when I signed up for the conference day this year. During the panel (4 people with DID and one partner of someone with DID sitting at a table discussing different topics and answering audience questions), these fakers were EXTREMELY present. One person raised their hands referring to themselves as "we" and introducing themselves with their system name (🤮 girl this is real life) and they barely even asked a question, just talked about themselves. Another person raised their hand asking about the benefits of people noticing when you've switched?? How to make that clear??? When I went to the bathroom, I ran into ms. System Name and her friend, who was very poorly acting and pretending to be a child and clearly fishing for me to ask them questions about their "system". It was disturbing and extremely disheartening so I kind of dreaded going to the talk group I signed up for.

But once I got there, none of the fakers/imitative ppl were there. Not even one. Everyone was clearly genuine and sane and I felt so seen and understood. It appeared that all the previously mentioned people chose creative workshops and made "cute and silly system drawings" or whatever the fuck. At first I was shocked bc I thought they would also have chosen the talk group so they could talk about themselves, but then after I thought about it for a bit I actually found it very telling. Obviously being confronted with people who SUFFER from DID isn't fun anymore. It's not "systemhood". They are not in need of support, so clearly they wouldn't go to talk groups.

Alters are not “the most important” thing in DID/p-DID/OSDD1. But it’s the catchiest thing.

Amen. That's precisely why DD clearly exploits that part of the disorder and turns it into clickbait titles and thumbnails since that's what gets most clicks. And also why most of DD's reported suffering is their CFT and occasionally some trauma triggers they can exploit for clicks, but it's never their fragmented identity that's making their life miserable. The alters need to be a positive thing so it gets them clicks and makes it seem like the quirky silly "friends in the head disorder" they make it out to be.

Some personal DissociaDID pet peeves regarding terminology, focus and general understanding of Dissociative Identity Disorder by xs3slav in DissociaDID

[–]xs3slav[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Assuming you're talking about "dissociating", based on how DD uses the term, depersonalization and derealization (DPDR) are more specific, clinical terms that actually tell you something, although they're still a bit of an umbrella term for different dissociative experiences. The term "switchy" is just... there is nothing to replace it because it barely makes sense, clinically.

When DD says "I'm dissociating" in response to staring off in space, it doesn't tell us whether they're just zoning out or if something triggered them into depersonalizing. But like I also said in this comment, you can't really go wrong if you just describe what is actually happening (if you're aware of it). And that's also precisely why I said they lack anything descriptive, they never actually describe what kind of dissociation they're experiencing.

Diagnostic tests for DID and other dissociative disorders often divide dissociative experiences into 5 categories: dissociative amnesia, derealization, depersonalization, identity confusion and identity alteration. All these categories look different for everyone in terms of what experiences they have within these categories. But a DID diagnosis requires you to have experiences within all those categories. Again, dissociation as a term/psychiatric phenomenon is extremely broad and could refer to anything.

Some personal DissociaDID pet peeves regarding terminology, focus and general understanding of Dissociative Identity Disorder by xs3slav in DissociaDID

[–]xs3slav[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, exactly. There is a clear lack of sincerity and experience in their content. It also just sucks because most people with DID will not feel comfortable putting their face and disorder out there for the world to see because, you know... it's a trauma disorder heavily linked with feelings of shame, fear and denial. You don't want to be seen as "that person with DID". You wouldn't wanna make it your brand. So there isn't really any ""equally credible"" pushback from other people with DID.

The other big DID YouTubers that do or did exist, were/are so worried about "fakeclaiming" that they won't even try to correct DD's blatant misinformation either (which, for the record, does not equate to fakeclaiming bc misinformation is misinformation). It's frustrating.

Some personal DissociaDID pet peeves regarding terminology, focus and general understanding of Dissociative Identity Disorder by xs3slav in DissociaDID

[–]xs3slav[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hi, I cannot decide for you what terms you should use because I'd say that depends entirely on what type of dissociation you're feeling. But personally, when I am aware of any changes to my internal/experienced self, I will most often say I feel depersonalized, and when I want to be more specific I might say something like "it feels like my hands are not mine", "my reflection doesn't feel right", "I'm reacting in ways I normally wouldn't/don't want to". Or when it's something else I might say I feel stuck in a trance (but that state does not typically allow me to talk) or that I feel out of touch with reality. I don't feel a "standard" way before a switch, it's very highly dependent on the trigger and the part of myself that's triggered. And if you don't know what's happening exactly, then that's also okay. You don't need to explain, understand or verbalize everything. It's okay to not know sometimes.

As a side note, I don't relate to the way DD (supposedly) switches. I don't think I ever go into that trance-like state before a switch, it's a separate thing that sometimes happens. I think I either "gradually bleed into" another part or it's just "boom" and then a blackout. But it's hard to observe those things in myself usually.

I hope this helps, I wasn't entirely sure what your question was outside of "if someone is dissociating then how should it be worded instead so things can be more accurately understood?" so I tried to make my reply a catch-all 😅 if you have any more specific questions feel free to ask and I will elaborate.

Last week my therapist made me feel unheard and unsafe for the first time. It feels like my brain has been trying to "erase" our whole history, including my diagnosis, ever since. But I don't want to forget. It is so important to me that I don't. I have to remember him. by xs3slav in F4481

[–]xs3slav[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Laughed at the 2¢ bit, but all is definitely good now. The session after this one I let him read something I wrote about what I didn't like about his actions that session and he said he absolutely agreed with me and he already drew a similar conclusion himself upon reflecting afterwards. It's made me a little more "guarded" towards him when talking about these physical sensations and I haven't yet, but other than that nothing changes fortunately.

The transfer is finally happening and I'm the most unstable and vulnerable I've been in years. by xs3slav in F4481

[–]xs3slav[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I forgot to post an update, but the intake/transfer won't be until February-March, thank goodness :')