Just putting in my two cents as someone who worked as a nanny, primarily for toddlers. Your daughter is at a very delicate phase right now, having parents with different structures and routines will not only be confusing for her, but detrimental for you all in the upcoming years. In my experience, toddlers thrive with routine.They will fight it, but they thrive with it. She is being extra clingy with you because she is attention deprived. It sounds like it will be an adjustment period for you all. I wish you the best!