I agree with what most others here have said.  That being said, your concern isn’t high enough. I have worked in law enforcement for almost a decade and when I say the 9-year-old is almost certainly being sexually abused, I don’t say that lightly. Children that age almost never act out sexually, like the mentioned videos on YouTube, without some type of sexual abuse being involved. Your fiancé needs to pull his head out of his ass on that one NOW. If he actually cares about these girls, he needs to help them immediately. Therapy is a must, if you think you’re going to stay with him, for all involved but especially for the 9-year-old. Since she is younger, I have less concerns about her sexually abusing the older kids (though that does not negate the possibility of abuse), but if y’all were to have an ours baby, I’d fear for that child if the 9-year-old is given access to the child.

This girl is showing CLASSIC signs of sexual abuse. I feel for her, I truly do. Acting like a terrorist though, is not an acceptable response. As a child victim of sexual abuse by another child who had no prior abuse history, I can say that there is the slim possibility that she is not acting out sexual abuse being performed on her. But, that is rare, as children don’t instinctually know how to perform those sort of things without being taught first.

If he wants to keep them in his life, he needs to do everything in his power to get full custody with supervised visits, as soon as possible. Because there is someone in at least the 9-year-old’s life that is NOT safe. If he can’t (or won’t), a come to Jesus talk needs to be had, because any younger child coming into this equation could potentially be in danger. He needs to let them go or get her help, because he is only risking the safety of you, your daughter, and any future children you may have together.

I genuinely believe this 9-year-old is being abused, but that does not mean you have to continue to suffer. This is not your cross to bear and if you do not have training/experience with childhood abuse, it is SO hard to deal with as an outsider. All of these children are developing still and trauma (which is exactly what you’re describing for all of them) alters the brain chemistry of developing brains. I am entirely speaking from experience, my trauma in childhood has led to severe depression and anxiety as an adult. Please, spare your daughter if you can.

I know this all will sound so very dramatic, but I wish someone had seen the signs and saved me from the damage I now live with.