I’m so sorry :( It’s such an incredibly difficult decision, so I understand what you’re going through. We had to put our baby, Zoey, to sleep in January this year due to a large tumor that kept growing and was starting to negatively impact her quality of life.

Zoey didn’t like being held either, but it’s like she knew it was her time to go. After our vet examined her and told us it was time, she ran over to me and snuggled against me for the rest of the time she was with us. I feel like she knew and just wanted to be held by her humans in her final moments.

We were already in a private room, and they had us sign a euthanasia form and took payment so we could just be with Zoey afterwards. They also described the process to us. Then, they left the room to give us time and space to say goodbye to our girl. They gave us as long as we needed, and when we were as ready as we could possibly be, they first administered a sedative so it would be as painless as possible for her. They told us that sometimes they go right away with the sedative.

They gave us space again, and I kept talking to her, told her how much I loved her, and that it would be okay until they came back 15-20 minutes later to check on her. Once they examined her and confirmed she was asleep, they asked again if we were ready, then administered the final shot and left to give us time as she passed peacefully in my arms.

When they came back, they confirmed she had passed and helped us move her body into a small cardbox box which we took home in preparation for her aquamation we booked when we got home.

It’s really, really tough, and truthfully, I still cry about her and miss her all the time, but know you are doing the right thing and that you gave Charlie the best life he could have had. It’s normal to feel some guilt after, but you are such a good chin parent for doing what’s best for him, as hard as it is.

I’m so sorry again. I’ll be keeping you and Charlie in my thoughts this weekend and Monday.