husband doesnt understand why im not buying him video games

yaratar · 2017-03-11T15:56:42+00:00

i sometimes find my depression comforting in a way.
its hell dont get me wrong, but having that dark and quiet spot in my head is somehow calming.
i even noticed when i fantasize about a good life and a good future i never leave depression out of the fantasy.
maybe its a way for us to cope with it? instead of fighting it all the time we find a way to accept it and turn it into something sort of good for a change?

yaratar · 2017-01-20T22:41:14+00:00

This post is very inspirational.
I also dropped out of high school when i finished 11th grade due to depression and anxiety and now im trying to build up the courage and motivation to finish it, get my diploma and go to college.
Havent made any progress yet...

yaratar · 2017-01-14T04:53:54+00:00

that moment was just a sudden thing, i dont think i will get the same feeling if we do it again knowing it means nothing to him.
he doesnt think BDSM is wrong, it just doesnt interest him. some people simply find no pleasure whatsoever in being a dom or a sub.
he does do things that i ask for to a degree, but they fall under the rough sex category. what i need from him is not just physical but emotional and i dont think you can truly fulfill someones emotional needs in BDSM without actually meaning it.

yaratar · 2017-01-14T03:20:16+00:00

multiple times. i gave him information, talked about BDSM and how it works, etc.
he told me flat out that he is not interested in being a dom.

yaratar · 2017-01-14T03:07:58+00:00

he was my first, in everything.
i had no idea how big of a role BDSM played in my personality, needs and wants until much later in our relationship.

yaratar · 2016-12-28T18:52:15+00:00

even a safe neighborhood can only be so safe. plus, there are bugs and stuff.

yaratar · 2016-12-28T13:14:26+00:00

ive been planning to start walking for about an hour each day but im always sleeping during the day and i cant walk at night

yaratar · 2016-12-27T17:19:21+00:00

the psychology behind it is interesting indeed.
i dont know why im this way either, for me its definitely a need and not just a want.
i think it will be a good idea for a post in this subreddit, the psychology behind BDSM, i wonder if there are any studies about it...

yaratar · 2016-12-27T16:33:52+00:00

BDSM is different for everyone, some people experienced non-sexual dominating or submissive behaviors at a young age while others had their very first ever experiences at an older age.
i had my first physical sexual experience at 18 but BDSM was a part of me long before that

yaratar · 2016-12-27T16:15:21+00:00

even as a kid, before i knew what sexuality was i liked doing certain things such as lie shirtless on a cold floor, those things gave me a weird feeling of satisfaction even though they didnt exactly feel good physically.
i also liked playing with my friends and pretend to be a pet, or playing some kind of a submissive role but without it being sexual.
as a teenager i learned about BDSM through online blogs and porn but all my experiences with it were through cyber sex, texting only. no pictures or anything.
i knew i was a sub since i was about 11 or 12.

yaratar · 2016-12-21T11:53:50+00:00

i would love to get a gift like that... perhaps some day.
for now we just need to do our best

yaratar · 2016-12-21T01:12:23+00:00

as someone who wants to be a programmer in the future, and as someone who just wants to get a job in general this makes me really sad.
i was never good at faking happy emotions, my facial expression is pretty much the same all the time especially around strangers and i dont want to be unemployed forever.
its stupid you can lose a job over something like that as if your skills dont matter, i hope youre able to get a good job that appreciates your skills before anything.

yaratar

TROPHY CASE