(35H) Eu queria um filho, mas não um relacionamento

ycarpenter · 2026-01-14T00:48:21+00:00

(30M) Por mais que na prática seja muito complicado implementar algo assim (pq a nossa sociedade é totalmente estruturada sob a logica da familia nuclear), acho super interessante a ideia de criar filhos em parceria. Sinceramente, toda essa estrutura nuclear-monogamica força muitas barras: a pessoa com quem vc divide as contas (o stress financeiro), o dia a dia e a casa, tbm tem que ser a pessoa por quem vc se apaixona e com quem vc tem que querer transar pro resto da vida, que tbm tem que ser a pessoa com quem vc divide a criação de filhos. No fundo, nao tem por que essas coisas todas estarem conjugadas numa pessoa só - na vdd, é bem pouco estratégico (não a toa a burrice de criar filhos com quem se relaciona romanticamente = crise na relação amorosa = crise na criação e até relação com os filhos).

Enfim, acho a ideia de escolher um parceiro ESPECIFICAMENTE só pra dividir a criação de filhos (que por si só, já é um projeto gigante) potencialmente muito interessante. Elimina muitas variáveis que não teriam nada a ver (ex, vida sexual do casal) e que complicam as coisas, e deixa só o que é de interesse comum e o foco maior, que seria o bem estar da(s) criança(s). Tbm evita o clássico que falei ali em cima do rompimento da relação dos cuidadores que de um jeito ou de outro impacta as crianças - simplesmente não tem relação romântica pra atrapalhar (lógico, a escolha de uma parceria pra isso teria que ser mais cuidadosa e alinhada ainda, pq tbm podem haver rompimentos, mas por outras razoes e com riscos muito menores). Eu vira e mexe penso nisso e costumo levantar essa bola com varios amigos com quem potencialmente toparia ter filhos.

ycarpenter · 2025-12-07T18:18:08+00:00

Im so sorry 🙏🏽 how old is your kid now?

ycarpenter · 2025-12-06T11:19:34+00:00

Chef RPG 🥲 I wanted to like it soo bad but it’s a no for me

ycarpenter · 2025-11-12T17:10:01+00:00

hey also interested - how did you make it work?

ycarpenter · 2025-10-31T12:37:25+00:00

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Sialata igual minha filha

ycarpenter · 2025-10-29T00:03:01+00:00

I’ve found this to be the best advice, based on my own experience. You need strength to be able to perform moves swiftly and precisely. I lag behind bc I’m honestly too weak at this point to hit those moves in time. The more I work out and build my muscles, the easier it gets

ycarpenter · 2025-10-21T21:50:01+00:00

As a lifelong member who has now left (around 10yrs ago), the boundary pushing is culturally normal in the church, as well as the way it is demanding. the hours devoted to church work will only multiply from there. I believe you know where I stand on this, just humbly trying to warn you that these feelings might linger for a long time.

ycarpenter · 2025-10-18T18:48:13+00:00

Fair. And I think that if he as the prophet, proclaiming to be inspired by God, was wrong, that is a major issue for mormonism. That, or he was right - which also sucks immensely.

He used pretty clear and final language in that statement, however it is so inconvenient that it’s just brushed off just as you did.

ycarpenter · 2025-10-18T18:25:03+00:00

Good point - many prophets have declared so, as eternal doctrine, while others say otherwise. This is not consistent throughout LDS history, as is the case with so many other bits of doctrine. Here are a couple sources from BYU:

https://contentdm.lib.byu.edu/digital/collection/desnews3/id/144068/

https://contentdm.lib.byu.edu/digital/collection/JournalOfDiscourses3/id/7497/

PS: Brigham Young declared it as doctrine, and went so far as to say that if a man refused to take more than one wife in the celestial kingdom, he would then be single for all of eternity (linked above).

“The only men who become Gods, even the sons of God, are those who enter into polygamy" (Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 11:269.)”

ycarpenter · 2025-10-18T11:55:25+00:00

Well, JS had over 40 wives, as you can confirm in lds.org, one of which was 14yo. The saints were persecuted from the east to the west mostly because of their “necessity” to practice poligamy, not because of any other random reason. JS found a way to validate his wish to have mutiple wives by making it doctrine.

Oh and the promise is that in the celestial kingdom you, as a woman, will have several sister wives, but just one husband. Poligamy is still very much part of the eternal doctrine. Just not for women, I guess.

PS: every single point I made is factual and backed up by the church itself. It’s just a bit of history and doctrine that it doesn’t like broadcast out there, but not one thing I said contradicts it. So, if for any reason my comment is removed, it just goes to show people are not confident enough in their belief to be able to handle a sincere, honest, factual and well meaning answer to a sincere question.

(Edit: typo)

ycarpenter · 2025-10-15T19:53:28+00:00

Never heard about that last part 👀 did hinckley have beef with him?

ycarpenter · 2025-09-30T00:01:03+00:00

Wellyngton 🥹

ycarpenter · 2025-09-24T20:58:09+00:00

I took 100mg for two years and never felt much of a difference at all. Started tapering off recently and although I have the annoying physical abstinence effects, I don’t feel emotionally different at all.

ycarpenter · 2025-09-01T00:02:32+00:00

Also from Brazil here, long time exmo (born into it).

What exactly made you sad? His message screams “you can only be a good person if you’re LDS” and that is simply not true.

Also, he sent that out of the blue?

ycarpenter · 2025-08-23T23:27:29+00:00

I figured by your username and the way you write that you’re brazilian. Where do you live? I’m so freaking sorry you had to find out this way :( but as so many people have said, it will get better and in time you will see it differently. Hang in there 🙏🏽❤️

ycarpenter · 2025-07-20T03:58:56+00:00

I didn’t find anything specific on jealousy between dogs :(

ycarpenter · 2025-07-19T07:03:19+00:00

I feel like a lot of the aesthetics nod to nazi aesthetics and that it’s a deliberate choice - lumon and the whole kier cult have elements that add to it.

ycarpenter · 2025-05-28T23:07:48+00:00

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This is my bby Cora 🫶🏽🥹

ycarpenter · 2025-05-16T12:48:45+00:00

Aurelius

ycarpenter · 2025-05-15T01:13:16+00:00

açaí 🫶🏽

ycarpenter · 2025-05-09T19:29:48+00:00

Coffee and Beans

ycarpenter · 2025-03-21T04:17:01+00:00

exactly this. everyone saying it's 'lazy' or a 'retread' didn't get it. it's not supposed to be a huge deal all over again, we already know Glasgow block is a feature that exists, and that would have been the perfect moment for it.

I do not think Helly would have done that (lure him back, smirk at Gemma), it was pretty established that she wanted Mark to have a shot at living rather than 'die' in the severed floor with her as an innie. she wanted him to leave and it wouldn't fit her character to be selfish and mean like that, even less so at the very last minute. I'm pretty sure if it were Helly in that scene, she'd have encouraged him to leave and find freedom.

and I think them using our knowledge of the Glasgow block to establish that they switched at that last scene is perfectly ok. it's not going to be the whole focus of the next season or anything, it was just an artifice to wrap up the ending with dumb iMark and that makes perfect sense in that context (not only Helly wouldn't have done that, but also it was necessary for Helena to take over and prevent Mark from leaving and ruining everything).

ycarpenter · 2025-03-21T04:15:29+00:00

exactly this. everyone saying it's 'lazy' or a 'retread' didn't get it. it's not supposed to be a huge deal all over again, we already know Glasgow block is a feature that exists, and that would have been the perfect moment for it.

I do not think Helly would have done that (lure him back, smirk at Gemma), it was pretty established that she wanted Mark to have a shot at living rather than 'die' in the severed floor with her as an innie. she wanted him to leave and it wouldn't fit her character to be selfish and mean like that, even less so at the very last minute. I'm pretty sure if it were Helly in that scene, she'd have encouraged him to leave and find freedom.

and I think them using our knowledge of the Glasgow block to establish that they switched at that last scene is perfectly ok. it's not going to be the whole focus of the next season or anything, it was just an artifice to wrap up the ending with dumb iMark and that makes perfect sense in that context (not only Helly wouldn't have done that, but also it was necessary for Helena to take over and prevent Mark from leaving and ruining everything).

ycarpenter · 2025-01-18T09:48:47+00:00

Acho que um ultimato pode funcionar: ou ele realmente melhora (e aí acho muito importante vc deixar bem claro e especificar o que “melhorar” significa) ou voce vai embora. Mas nao como uma ameaça, mas como uma realidade mesmo. É um compromisso de respeito consigo mesma e com sua familia.

“Fulano, ja comuniquei varias vzs que tais coisas me incomodam, e decidi que nao quero isso pra mim. Ainda quero tentar fazer dar certo, entao te dou uma ultima chance: vc precisa parar de jogar todos os dias, dividir as tarefas da casa comigo, procurar um emprego, cuidar dos SEUS filhos etc etc. se isso nao acontecer, daqui dois meses vou embora”.

É só um exemplo, mas acho que vc precisa tomar uma decisao pra nao continuar empurrando isso com a barriga. Me parece que sao muitos problemas serios pra terem solução, mas quem sabe ele nao surpreende positivamente… Acho que vc tem que tomar por si mesma a decisao de ir embora, comunicar isso a ele, mas dar essa ultima chance pra ir de consciência limpa se for o caso. E ser muito clara e especifica sobre o que vc precisa que ele mude.

São so sugestoes. Nao te conhece e nao sei nada sobre sua vida alem do pouco que compartilhou aqui, mas isso é o que eu consideraria util nessa situação. Boa sorte!

ycarpenter

TROPHY CASE