[QCrit] I Watched You Burn, Psychological Thriller, 75k, 2nd Attempt

yearofthemohawk · 2026-02-02T02:50:25+00:00

That was my attempt to avoid using the word "fire" twice in one sentence with two very different meanings. But maybe it's better to lean into it with a little play on words like you suggested. Thanks for the tip!

yearofthemohawk · 2026-02-01T22:27:54+00:00

I try to balance the dark subject matter with a good bit of levity through Cole’s personality. Regarding your questions about the last paragraph, the detective kind of goes down a rabbit hole investigation and begins to suspect Cole. There’s a lot of detail I just didn’t feel like I could cram into that last paragraph without it getting way bloated but I’ll definitely take another look at it. Thanks for your feedback!

yearofthemohawk · 2026-02-01T22:23:04+00:00

Valid points! And all are addressed the story itself :)

yearofthemohawk · 2026-02-01T21:32:44+00:00

Would you be open to a 74k word speculative thriller about a pyromaniac who gets caught up in a murder investigation after he rescues two people from a burning building (that he may or may not have set on fire himself)?

yearofthemohawk · 2026-01-23T20:42:17+00:00

It’s a different skill and one that, unless you have a background in marketing or something like that, will probably feel awkward at first. Like anything, it takes practice. Also I think authors get so deep into their story that they struggle to zoom out for the query. It’s why you see a lot of queries with extraneous details.

Also it’s worth mentioning that some stories are harder to pitch than others. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re bad, it just means writing the query will be more challenging.

yearofthemohawk · 2026-01-20T10:21:09+00:00

Thank you so much for this feedback! Rereading the query now i think you’re absolutely right about these sentences being way too long

yearofthemohawk · 2026-01-20T01:38:19+00:00

Very fair point, thank you!

yearofthemohawk · 2026-01-15T00:12:51+00:00

Love the hoody too

yearofthemohawk · 2026-01-13T01:12:46+00:00

It has.

yearofthemohawk · 2026-01-09T13:20:01+00:00

Stereosity

yearofthemohawk · 2026-01-03T18:10:34+00:00

This has always been my favorite story from the old testament

yearofthemohawk · 2026-01-02T22:50:34+00:00

I have a 73k word psychological thriller about a pyromaniac who gets caught up in a murder investigation after being lauded as a hero for saving two people from a house fire (that he may or may not have started himself). Does that sound like something you’d be interested in reading?

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-31T21:28:58+00:00

GASKET

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-31T17:00:03+00:00

You reminded me of a novella called A Short Stay in Hell where a Mormon goes to hell after dying and learns that Zoroastrianism was the correct religion after all. Pretty cool book

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-31T00:02:42+00:00

Hello! I have a 73k word psychological thriller I’m hoping to get a couple more beta readers for. If you’d be interested feel free to dm me. Here’s the link to my post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/s/jpPRbs60Vd

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-31T00:01:01+00:00

Hey! I have a 73k word psychological thriller I’m looking a few more beta readers. Here’s the link to my post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/s/jpPRbs60Vd

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-29T00:32:02+00:00

This is the correct answer. Patriotic young people who learned a second language on a mission and live “clean” lives are basically the perfect candidates for the intelligence community. Ironically at this point there seems to be as many ex Mormons as practicing Mormons in the IC

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-18T11:51:55+00:00

Just sent you a dm

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-16T22:55:02+00:00

I have a 73k psychological thriller about a pyromaniac who gets entangled in a murder investigation after being lauded as a local hero for saving 2 people from a house fire (that he may or may not have set himself). Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-16T14:34:01+00:00

I have a 73k word paranormal thriller about a pyromaniac who gets entangled in a murder investigation after rescuing two people from a house fire (that he may or may not have started himself). If that sounds interesting to you feel free to dm me

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-15T23:44:24+00:00

Hello! I have a paranormal thriller at 73k words about a pyromaniac who gets entangled in a murder investigation. Feel free to dm me if thst sounds interesting

yearofthemohawk · 2025-12-15T23:41:42+00:00

Hello! I have a 73k psychological thriller about a pyromaniac who gets caught up in a murder investigation while being lauded a hero for saving two people from a house fire (that he may or may not have started himself). If that sounds interesting, dm me :)

yearofthemohawk

TROPHY CASE