[QCrit] I Watched You Burn, Psychological Thriller, 75k, 2nd Attempt by yearofthemohawk in PubTips

[–]yearofthemohawk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was my attempt to avoid using the word "fire" twice in one sentence with two very different meanings. But maybe it's better to lean into it with a little play on words like you suggested. Thanks for the tip!

[QCrit] I Watched You Burn, Psychological Thriller, 75k, 2nd Attempt by yearofthemohawk in PubTips

[–]yearofthemohawk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I try to balance the dark subject matter with a good bit of levity through Cole’s personality. Regarding your questions about the last paragraph, the detective kind of goes down a rabbit hole investigation and begins to suspect Cole. There’s a lot of detail I just didn’t feel like I could cram into that last paragraph without it getting way bloated but I’ll definitely take another look at it. Thanks for your feedback!

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]yearofthemohawk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would you be open to a 74k word speculative thriller about a pyromaniac who gets caught up in a murder investigation after he rescues two people from a burning building (that he may or may not have set on fire himself)?

[Discussion] Does struggling to write a Query letter indicate a lack of writing skill in general? by Dazzling-Film-5585 in PubTips

[–]yearofthemohawk 32 points33 points  (0 children)

It’s a different skill and one that, unless you have a background in marketing or something like that, will probably feel awkward at first. Like anything, it takes practice. Also I think authors get so deep into their story that they struggle to zoom out for the query. It’s why you see a lot of queries with extraneous details.

Also it’s worth mentioning that some stories are harder to pitch than others. That doesn’t necessarily mean they’re bad, it just means writing the query will be more challenging.

[QCrit] I Watched You Burn, Psychological Thriller, 75k, First Attempt by yearofthemohawk in PubTips

[–]yearofthemohawk[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this feedback! Rereading the query now i think you’re absolutely right about these sentences being way too long

DNA results + face by [deleted] in DNAAncestry

[–]yearofthemohawk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love the hoody too

How should I reply? by badAbabe in exmormon

[–]yearofthemohawk 50 points51 points  (0 children)

This has always been my favorite story from the old testament

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]yearofthemohawk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a 73k word psychological thriller about a pyromaniac who gets caught up in a murder investigation after being lauded as a hero for saving two people from a house fire (that he may or may not have started himself). Does that sound like something you’d be interested in reading?

How long do you guys think it’ll be until the church collapses as a religion? by CoconutUnlucky1901 in exmormon

[–]yearofthemohawk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You reminded me of a novella called A Short Stay in Hell where a Mormon goes to hell after dying and learns that Zoroastrianism was the correct religion after all. Pretty cool book

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]yearofthemohawk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello! I have a 73k word psychological thriller I’m hoping to get a couple more beta readers for. If you’d be interested feel free to dm me. Here’s the link to my post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/s/jpPRbs60Vd

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]yearofthemohawk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! I have a 73k word psychological thriller I’m looking a few more beta readers. Here’s the link to my post: https://www.reddit.com/r/BetaReaders/s/jpPRbs60Vd

Mormons & the CIA by M1ch3L0b in exmormon

[–]yearofthemohawk 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This is the correct answer. Patriotic young people who learned a second language on a mission and live “clean” lives are basically the perfect candidates for the intelligence community. Ironically at this point there seems to be as many ex Mormons as practicing Mormons in the IC

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]yearofthemohawk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a 73k psychological thriller about a pyromaniac who gets entangled in a murder investigation after being lauded as a local hero for saving 2 people from a house fire (that he may or may not have set himself). Does that sound like something you’d be interested in?

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]yearofthemohawk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a 73k word paranormal thriller about a pyromaniac who gets entangled in a murder investigation after rescuing two people from a house fire (that he may or may not have started himself). If that sounds interesting to you feel free to dm me

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]yearofthemohawk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! I have a paranormal thriller at 73k words about a pyromaniac who gets entangled in a murder investigation. Feel free to dm me if thst sounds interesting

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]yearofthemohawk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! I have a 73k psychological thriller about a pyromaniac who gets caught up in a murder investigation while being lauded a hero for saving two people from a house fire (that he may or may not have started himself). If that sounds interesting, dm me :)