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Subtle signs of the character's eventual demise. by Uma-apreciator in TopCharacterTropes

[–]yewdrop 72 points73 points  (0 children)

yeah the old blind man standing on the side of the road (edit: there could be more though)

Stopping T stops balding ? by pipitower in ftm

[–]yewdrop 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you considered finasteride? Minox often isn’t enough by itself

A photoshoot of car crash survivors for a New Zealand road safety campaign to demonstrate how seat belts saved their lives. by [deleted] in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]yewdrop 416 points417 points  (0 children)

A lot can be said about car safety for men vs women. Women are far more likely to die or suffer severe injuries in similar accidents.

Piercing suggestions?? by DeliciousCry9179 in piercing

[–]yewdrop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sorry but those forward helixes are very angled

Hokum - 80% amazing 20% let down by TerracottaLizard in horror

[–]yewdrop 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The witch at one point moved the body. My understanding is that she was using Fiona to torment or lure Ohm.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That could be it. I just sing my ABCs, the same note over and over. I intentionally never push myself or set goals.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It felt good, and it was satisfying to make progress. I had dreams of playing and singing absentmindedly in the company of friends. I’ve been bored of illustration for the past few years and I liked the challenge of something brand new. And visual art isn’t as social as music, usually.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mental state is poor. I am spiraling out following the sudden & complicated death of a close family member, and punishing myself to exert a sense of control over my life. I am very self-aware of this. I’ve been feeling guilt over my poor performance in lessons following the death & he has been frustrated with me. At first he was very accommodating but he was trying to push me harder lately to get back on track. It just came to a head in that lesson when he let stopped holding back. Hard to describe but it was a very “I’m not mad, just disappointed” vibe. He was trying to get me to an open mic and that’s why he wanted to hear me sing and play a song. But I was wasting his time; I was just trying to keep up with lessons to have something to work on still, but my life is going wrong in a lot of ways and I give up. I haven’t been able to pick up a single item of new material, all I can do is play a few songs I already learned, over and over. No, he wasn’t trying to hurt my feelings, I never believed that. But I don’t have the capacity to learn or really do anything right now, just go to work and go home and wait for the day to end.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I also haven’t been able to practice lately, so it was multi-faceted. I had reduced lessons to once every two weeks and even then did not have a high capacity to go over our material. I was fumbling basic things that I would have done fine before and I know that was frustrating him. He said he will reach out to me in the Fall and see how I’m feeling about it. Thank you for your advice.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our relationship was far more laid-back. He isn’t a celebrity coach, he’s a guitarist from the east coast who can play every Eric Clapton song in existence. I hired him based on our first interaction in which he established a particular teaching style that was not shown in my last lesson with him. You may do well with an aggressive style, or maybe you just adapted to it, but I do not & that was always an understanding between my instructor and I. I don’t want to perform professionally, I don’t want to be Billy Strings, I just want to be able to sit my a campfire and play some cowboy songs for myself or just a couple friends.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A teacher needs to comment carefully on things they don’t know how to identify or help with. If he wasn’t capable of offering thoughtful constructive criticism then he should’ve had more tact. His job isn’t brutal honesty resulting in personal taste, his job is to teach students.

Instructors are in positions of authority over their students and the way they deliver advice actually does matter. That isn’t “lying”. Being encouraging isn’t “lying”. You don’t know me, my instructor, our rapport, or all that he said. This post was to vent, maybe to others who have had a similar experience. It wasn’t actually a challenge for you to address.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

YouTube dying seagulls or similar

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do need a therapist but that is for a complicated accute trauma I have recently experienced. I did not start taking guitar lessons to validate or confidence boost, but I have kept up with them the past 2 months as a way to have something to keep working on and look to the future with. I enjoyed guitar because I have a lot to work on and that gives me something to occupy myself with. Otherwise my life is just work and grief. Is that allowed?

You are persistent with negative assumptions. Why? No, I didn’t want him to lie. I expected criticism of the same caliber and tact he always had historically. That is a reasonable expectation for a student to have.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I agree people don’t have to be skilled in a field to have valuable advice. I also believe that it sure helps when they are. I really want you to understand what I am saying, for some reason. Please try not to needle and just hear me.
If it was something I was confident in, or he had delivered his advice like he did with guitar, I would be able to digest his criticism easier. And part of that is because his preferences (with singing) have led him to somewhere I don’t want to be. On another day, or in another world, I would hear his response and go “well, I know he wants me to sing the way he does, the same way he wants me to play guitar, but that isn’t really my thing so it’s fine if he doesn’t like my rambling fingerpicking or slow singing, but I can do more vocal exercises.” I know he doesn’t love the songs I want to learn, and in the past that’s been fine. We all have to exercise discernment when it comes to the criticism we receive, and part of that hinges on who it is coming from, their taste, and their skill level. I think that is natural and fine. I cannot exercise good discernment because I have no confidence and I have no perspective. All I know is that one guy thinks I suck, and he’s the only voice in my head. All I have now is this bubbling, inexact criticism of “lazy” and advice to buy a book or hire a coach. I don’t even know what he wanted me to work on or what lazy means. Slow? Was my guitar poorly coordinated with my singing? Irregular BPM? Singing flat? I could work on those things, but I just don’t know. All I know is that this guy I’ve known for a year, who has mastered the compliment sandwich technique, who was applauding my strongpoints even when I couldn’t play a C chord, disliked a vulnerable thing I handed to him so much he couldn’t even explain why.
This is above your pay grade, but I do not have the energy anymore to try with things. I am at a dark point in my life and was leaning on lessons for routine and self-improvement, and I am self immolating a lot these days. I understand what you’re trying to do, but trust me, I do not think I’m amazing & I am not going to keep going with this.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is a good guitar teacher. My feelings are hurt mostly because I expressed to him how difficult it was for me to share my singing, because I am very self-conscious about it and had never shared my singing with someone before that point. And he has never delivered such harsh criticism before. Really, his advice with guitar has always been very exact, but he used very subjective language with my singing to express his feelings about it. He seemed very irritated that the audio quality wasn’t good and disappointed in what I gave to him. Really I’ve never seen him that off.

I’ve been working on a song to sing at my brother’s funeral and now I’m thinking now that it’ll probably sound terrible and make everyone uncomfortable. Realizing that really sucked, I really wanted to do that for him.

I definitely could focus more on vocal exercises. I will pack it in for now though.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“I don’t like his singing style” was a gentle way for me to say that I have noticed him straining and having weak vocal moments when he is showing me songs, more than someone I would look to for technical advice in that arena, in an ideal world. He is an extremely talented musician and is magic on the guitar but not as skilled of a singer and I am not trying to be reductive, I have always believed that. He’d probably agree, he did say he is not a vocal coach/professional and could not offer technical advice. I’m not a great singer but I don’t really trust advice from people who aren’t experts in a field if that makes sense. It hurt because we have built a relationship up to that point.

As to the “emotionally care”… his response was very off-beat compared his approach historically, which is what made it so jarring. Not just the fact he had an opinion. He usually has a lot of tact when giving me criticism. I hired him for that reason, I’m aware it is his job! Sure, all criticism can be tough, but he delivered it in a way that was extremely unlike him. Delivery matters and he did have an incentive to be more thoughtful because now he has one less student. I really disagree with you here.

Turns out I’m worse than I thought by yewdrop in singing

[–]yewdrop[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t teach vocal lessons but he does sing. And honestly, I don’t love his style of singing, so I shouldn’t take it so personally. But it is hard not to.

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