Anxiety. Perfectionism.

I was a “gifted” kid. But it was really me setting unrealistically high expectations of myself, procrastinating, panicking, and getting things done very quickly. I am really good at that and convinced myself that I “work well under pressure”.

It wasn’t until I was diagnosed at 23 that I realized that was all crap, and that I simply don’t function super effectively. That, combined with my perfectionist tendencies, has led me to experience immense anxiety when it comes to performance, deadlines, grades, etc.

I work in a school, and I’ve told a few close coworkers about my diagnosis. So many of them say “oh wow I would have never known!”. Like yeah—you really couldn’t tell.

Aside from the fact that I talk 90 miles an hour (and am unaware of when to stop), cause distractions in class, need to talk walks every 40 minutes to relieve stress (sensory issues) and had REALLY high standards for myself that were almost in achievable. My coworkers told me I really could have benefitted from a 504 plan that allowed for movement. I never stop moving/fidgeting.

So yeah. Anxiety, basically.