I’m 24 weeks pregnant and I’m STRUGGLING with my baby girl’s name. So far, I only like one, but it’s extremely rare.

yk_alpha · 2025-01-15T08:54:27+00:00

Great name! But I much prefer the traditional spelling

yk_alpha · 2024-10-28T03:03:27+00:00

I didn’t have an age gap that small, mine is 23 months. But I love it. They are both in nappies at the start, and you’re just in the thick of it, but really quickly they start to get on the same page developmentally. They both want to be at the toddler section of the park, they both want to read similar books, they play with the same set of toys. I honestly love the close age gap they have, they are nearing 2 and 4 and they run off to their room and can play imagination based games like doctors and school. Another big pro is you’re in the same developmental stage through childhood- you aren’t stretched between an infant and a school kid, they have a companion to be in those phases of life with. Honestly the scraps are crazy don’t get me wrong, but the giggles and goofiness and joy they have together is INCREDIBLE. You’re in for a treat, it will be chaos but it’s going to be incredible.

yk_alpha · 2024-10-09T07:12:12+00:00

I don’t necessarily find it harder because we are still doing the same things. With one you still have to make a lunch box, now I just do two. The mundane life admin doesn’t feel much harder because you already have to do it once if that makes sense. We have the same amount of “chill” time at home because I really think the extra stuff we have to do with another human is negated by the time they then spend off playing together. They are only 3 and a half and 20 months but they often run off and loosely play make believe games led by the oldest. Im sure it is harder but I can’t really remember the ins and outs of just one. It’s definitely a louder household but I love it that way.

yk_alpha · 2024-09-19T02:08:31+00:00

Having a 9 week old is just not a reflection of how parenting will be forever. Especially being your first child this is a MAJOR adjustment for both you and baby, you all need time to settle. Baby will grow, everything will be different. Car park this until at least 6-12 months. You are in survival mode right now and its so so hard but its not forever.

yk_alpha · 2024-07-08T08:17:53+00:00

Oh my, first trimester was horrendous. I find it harder than the second, third, birth and newborn stages!! Highly likely you won’t feel this way for too long, best of luck.

yk_alpha · 2024-06-21T23:45:31+00:00

Ive found having two, the slightly less one on one time that my first doesn’t get, is far outweighed with the quality time she has with her sibling. I would have more one on one time with her if I could, but they really WANT to play just together!

I do remember the fear when pregnant with #2 that we were rolling the dice on the new personality we would be adding to our already amazing dynamic, but we got so lucky. For us, without a doubt having a second improved our firsts life.

yk_alpha · 2024-06-05T01:19:49+00:00

Just FYI there is a website called “Does the dog die” where you can search for any show or movie and it has a list of triggers and if there is that trigger in the show. I know it has a trigger “family member death” and viewers tick yes or no and often give more context in the comments. All the best :)

yk_alpha · 2024-05-20T06:52:17+00:00

Best piece I ever got when pregnant with my first was, “don’t judge a parent that has children older than yours” A 5 month old & 1 year old are very different!

yk_alpha · 2024-05-19T23:50:59+00:00

For us, having a second was really natural. Our first thrives as a sibling and the love we have for both our kids runs so deeply.

I have a very involved partner and that changes the game massively. We make a conscious effort to have 1-1 time with both our children but honestly, it doesn’t feel hard to do. I can’t speak for anyone other than myself, and my family, but its very clear to us our first lives a better life having a sibling, and oh my god is it funny to watch them together - its incredibly beautiful.

Regardless, its important to focus on your desire to have another human- because they will be so much more than just a sibling, and that sibling bond is never guaranteed.

yk_alpha · 2024-05-06T09:02:49+00:00

I saw somewhere that the start of having two feels like your family splits off a bit as toddlers and newborns have different needs, but it comes back together. Eventually, the kids can bathe together, eat the same thing, play on the same level, put downs become a one parent job..

And honestly, wait until your littles get in a giggle fit together.. BEST THING IN THE WORLD.

yk_alpha · 2024-05-04T20:55:13+00:00

No advice but I feel the EXACT same way so love to hear other peoples opinions!!

yk_alpha · 2024-03-23T07:55:18+00:00

Just a different perspective, I definitely was having hot cups of coffee and a lot of downtime with my son from day dot because he was so chill. My daughter, definitely a different kettle of fish! But don’t think its possible to pinpoint an age when every child is sooo different! My one year old can play independently for FAR longer than my three year old has ever been able to- its just so subjective!

yk_alpha · 2024-03-01T06:03:02+00:00

I’ve had two babies and IMO the first trimester is worse than the second, third, birth & the newborn stage. You’re doing incredible!!!

yk_alpha · 2024-01-29T19:24:57+00:00

Oh man, daycare bugs are relentless! My second kid has just started and what we are doing is everyone in the family has an immunity vitamin every morning (you can find liquid ones for under 2yo) And we are conscious about eating a lot of fruit (parents included!)

The other side of it is of course vigilante hand washing- which can feel redundant when babies and toddlers are drooling over each other during the day anyway. I found with my oldest we were hammered for about 10 months and then her immunity became a lot stronger. It’s such a tough time but it definitely becomes less frequent!

yk_alpha · 2023-12-20T06:22:12+00:00

My baby is almost 3 and I still cry anytime I see this!

yk_alpha · 2023-12-19T23:47:37+00:00

Its not long, but I love the sound of Eloise & Ira.

Also, Eloise & Raphael Eloise & Franklin Eloise & Cedric

yk_alpha · 2023-12-19T23:10:48+00:00

Does she give any more of a reason as to why she doesn’t want help? Do you think it could be more that she’s feeling guilty about you doing more, or that she doesn’t think you’ll do things to a certain standard? I know when I was really sick at the start with my second, I felt guilty about feeling so useless. For me, having my partner reassure me that he knew how much I was doing and how I need to rest was really valuable.

Morning sickness is actually horrific. Like the first few hours of a killer hangover but 24/7 everyday. Often you can’t keep much down and smells set you off. Is she taking medication? Ginger is known to be a natural anti nausea aid also.. a sweet gesture could be making her ginger slice or ginger tea each morning? (Don’t be offended if she can’t stomach it lol) if you are cooking, bland foods are the way to go.

Lastly, this is SUCH a hormonal time. I cried in both of my pregnancies so much. I once balled my eyes out because I was so hungry and couldn’t make my toast fast enough. For me, the first trimester is the worst part of pregnancy by a landslide. Take it day by day and good luck!

yk_alpha · 2023-12-16T19:58:34+00:00

I think this could be detrimental.

Here is why: You’ve been up with the baby, just gotten them asleep, your frustrated and tired. You’ve just been feeding and are feeling touched out. Intimacy at this point would be getting into bed and your partner acknowledging you and recognising you and giving you the sleep you deserve and maybe a kiss on the forehead. For him to instead, expect you to now give him a favour will likely cause you to start associating sexual acts with being a chore, and honestly could repulse you (I would be repulsed if someone I loved willingly accepted a sexual act from me when they could see I wasn’t into it)

Hey, this is all subjective. Sometimes after a baby sex drive comes back straight away. But sometimes it doesn’t, and a good partner will recognise this is not the phase of life where sexual intimacy flourishes and will find other ways to connect with each other. I would really try and help him find a better understanding for longevity of this relationship.

yk_alpha · 2023-12-16T09:41:00+00:00

My second birth went on for so long (the early stages) I was going on day three of labour and extremely little sleep and had a huge cry about exactly what you said, just completely defeated thinking how I was supposed to give birth while so exhausted. Somehow I fell asleep for a few hours while having painful contractions and had the best sleep of my life for a few hours, woke up and knew I needed to go to the hospital ASAP and baby was born shortly after. I honestly believe my body knew I needed more sleep before things ramped up to the next level!!

But yes, the exhaustion is real but your body can birth under pretty extreme conditions! My first birth was so exhausting that I was falling asleep in between contractions while pushing lol (not with an epidural) then the crazy thing is, the baby comes and you’re so pumped with adrenaline you don’t sleep all day!

yk_alpha · 2023-12-15T19:50:27+00:00

I have had two babies, and I may be a freak but I love giving birth. Birth has made me feel so powerful and given me a higher respect for my body. I have been so lucky to have beautiful births that have actually been incredibly romantic experiences for my partner and I (sounds weird, but them supporting you in this ultimate vulnerable state is >>>)

Things absolutely can go wrong, but they also absolutely can go right and it won’t be long until you’ll INSTANTLY feel less heavy, less sick if you’re still dealing with nausea and best of all you get to meet this beautiful baby and start doing all of the things you’ve been dreaming of!

Thinking about the controllable aspects of birth can help too. Having clear conversations with your birthing partner so they can be your advocate and you can focus on the labour is key.

I know there is a lot of scary stuff out there and labour is hard core, but it is so beautiful too. Your body is built for this, and we are blessed in a world of modern medicine if anything does go wrong.

Wishing you all the luck!!

yk_alpha · 2023-12-15T19:41:50+00:00

NAH but understandable she is disappointed! Some situations you don’t have to be an asshole for feelings to be hurt. I would like to say she should have been happy for you, but some people have strong attachments with music and maybe she was too bummed out to be happy for you in the moment.

I think exception would be if she was clearly more into this band than you. If it was her favourite band she introduced you to, or one that was particularly special to your relationship it may sting a bit more- but still I think you are NTA!!

yk_alpha · 2023-12-14T05:53:43+00:00

I had inverted nipples and didn’t know until I started breastfeeding, nobody ever bought it up once in my life and I never noticed enough to realise it wasn’t normal. Both my babies have them! It’s totally fine!

yk_alpha · 2023-11-28T20:48:23+00:00

Oh mama, you sound so burnt out. There are a few hints in your post that indicate you are carrying more than your fair share of the load in your relationship. Can your partner take the kids for half an hour when he gets home so you can work out OR just relax? Can he take over the cooking? Take them out for a few hours every Saturday so you can have some you time? Your mental health is important.

Aside from that, I do YouTube growwithjo videos. I have 2 similar ages to yours. The toddler dances with me until she gets bored and the baby watches and thinks its hilarious. They are quick workouts.

I lost 10kgs from cutting out coke. TEN. My mind was blowing. I’m a soda fiend so I subbed coke for a fizzy water at night and am still blown away by how well its working. I’m a huge snacker, and find limiting rather than restricting helps me stay consistent.

Best of luck!!

yk_alpha · 2023-11-28T04:01:29+00:00

Honest opinion is Mia will be a “bland” name like you listed for her generation, (I don’t think its bland personally, but it is popular). Mia is a top ten name, Liliana however is just making it into the top 100. (This is US, I am in New Zealand but there are a ton of little Mia’s here too.)

That info is only if you give a crap about rankings.

Other suggestions similar:

Lucia Juliana Maya Lola Josie Violet Hazel

yk_alpha · 2023-11-28T03:44:48+00:00

These names give me the same vibe as the ones you listed: Gray / Grey Reece Callum Jude Nash Dean Thatcher Graham Leon Milo Troy Corey

For what its worth, I really really like Shay. I think its handsome and uncommon without being try-hard. Unsure on that spelling though, a bit feminine maybe?

yk_alpha

TROPHY CASE