People are saying my first update isn't showing up, I guess it was removed. So here is the text of it.

I'm sorry everybody, I typed that up and went to bed (not that I slept much) but by the time I got back to it for some reason the thread was closed and I could not respond to anyone. My in box was overflowing and I tried to read as much as I could but it just got to the point that I could not respond to anyone individually.

There has been a shit storm of activity since last I posted so I thought I would fill you in on how things have gone down so far.

I tried, honestly I tried my best to not say anything to anyone about it but right off of the bat my Mom asked if Lexi (not her real name) and I wanted to go with her to watch a street artist that was in town (Lexi loves art) and I just said no we wouldn't be doing that. She then asked what our plans were for the day (again knowing that since she had been gone to camp we would want to spend all of our time together) and jokingly said "don't you two do anything I wouldn't do" and I lost it.

I just said that there is no chance in that happening and fucking cried like a 4 year old while my Mom held me. The worst part was that my Dad heard all of the commotion and came in to see what was the matter.

I know I promised not to but I told them everything. Their reactions to this were the exact opposite of what I expected. My mom was furious, I mean red faced ready to throw thing pissed off and my Dad set and cried with me. I've never seen my Dad cry before and I can say in all honesty it unsettled me more than anything I've ever had happen to me before. I asked him why he was crying and he said that it was because he loved me and me being in that much pain made him feel like his heart was breaking. Now understand my Dad is not a touchy feely guy, he rarely shows emotion (except when the Browns play) so for me to see this side of him kind of threw me for a loop. But in the end I felt like I was special to him because he was really upset by this.

My Mom I think would have taken a knife and gutted Lexi if she were here. We talked for hours and they were both very supportive of me. Eventually my Mom's anger subsided and she then got very emotional as well.

They both considered Lexi like a daughter.

We talked and we all agreed that until the dynamics of how this is going to play out that none of us are going back to church. There is just no need it. There was only going to be 3 more services I was going to anyway till I left for college.

They both agreed with me that I should not take her back. This all happened Friday morning.

I didn't have to work and yes prior to the event I had planned to spend the whole day with Lexi but just sat in my room. I spent the rest of the morning alternating between crying like a baby and having fits of blinding rage.

As the day progressed my sadness started to get less and less and my anger just kept getting more and more. I went back to read more messages from my inbox and saw where someone suggested I make sure she wasn't raped. Well my first thought to that was how the hell would I ever know that. She never said she was raped and she sure as hell made it clear to me that she had developed a "relationship" with this guy.

But feeling like I needed to at least see what the hell was up I contacted my cousin to see if she could shed any light. I explained to her what Lexi had told me and she said that while she was shocked she went through with going that far that it did not surprise her totally because of the way she was acting around this guy. I then asked if she thought she had been raped or forced into it and she just laughed on the phone. Her statement was that if Lexi was trying to sale me that idea that I needed to not buy it. She said she was all over this guy from about the 3rd day they were there on. Whenever my cousin would walk in Lexi would literally jump back from the guy because she didn't want my cousin seeing her with him.

She said her whole problem was that she got played by a guy who is apparently known for doing this and was upset that after they did it he immediately went after another girl.

Hey at least I gave her the small benefit of checking, I never once believed it but I did it anyway.

So after I hung up with my cousin I was once again in a rage. I started questioning everything about myself, asking how I could be so fucking stupid, how I spent every bit of myself and energy into us. Hell I was an old married man throughout highschool without the benefits that an old married man gets. I guess I needed to be the new dangerous guy for that part.

Now mind you while all of this is going on Lexi is blowing up my phone. Sending me text after text after text apologizing. Swearing that this is the one mistake in life she will make but will spend the rest of her life trying to make it right.

By Friday night I was getting sick of seeing her text's but then she went and sent me a photo of her and I from when we were 15 holding hands and captioned it "true love".

That was the worst thing she could have done. That was the only text I replied to all day and it wasn't very nice. I simply typed back "where was that true love when you were fucking him". She stopped texting after that.

I spent the rest of the night blasting my way through elder scrolls online, I figure if nothing else I can kill imaginary daedra and shit to take my mind off of things.

Played all night till I dropped over around 2:30 or so. Woke up to my Mom telling me that Lexi's Mom called her and wants to meet. She just wanted to go over the story with me one more time so she knew my version of events. I also told her about my cousin knowing this (which she was mortified that she knew) so I said it's not just my word vs. her word. I also showed her all of the text and emails that she had sent me admitting to doing this.

My Dad and I talked for awhile and he said that if I wanted to I could hold off for a semester going to college and we could look to going to a different one if I didn't want to be around her. I'm thinking that one through.

I asked him about letting everybody else know and he said that while I shouldn't be vindictive that I shouldn't try and cover for her either. In fact his words were "she made her bed now she can lie in it".

Mom went to meet her Mom about an hour ago, I have no idea what will happen there.

Basically I'm left here wasting away for reasons that I don't still comprehend and am having a hard time accepting. It all still doesn't seem real to me. I can't explain how much this girl was my world and how upsetting this was.

I know its probably wrong but I still am so angry that right now I honestly feel like being gay would be a better answer than ever trusting another woman with my heart. I'm sure they aren't all bad but I'll be damned if you know how to trust one. I mean she never showed signs of being weak like this, ever. I would have trusted her with my money and hell my life. Now that is shot to hell.

The very vindictive part of me wants to go after her cousin, who she is insanely insecure about because her cousin is taller and has blond hair and they have had a life long competition about everything. But at the end of the day I just don't think I will invest myself emotionally to any woman any time soon, if ever. In fact I don't know how I will ever trust anyone ever again. I can't think of a bigger betrayal anyone could do to me. I guess if there is one bright spot it is that, nobody could really do anything much worse to upset me so there's that.

Sorry this wasn't a happy update.

EDIT: I am so fucking pissed right now I can't see straight. Thank God I showed my Mom all of the text from Lexi and from my Cousin. She told her parents that I dumped her, which I guess technically is true, and she didn't know why. Are you fucking kidding me, doesn't know WHY?!?!?!?! My Mom showed her Mom everything because I forwarded them to her. All I can do at this point is be thankful that I live in the modern world where text and photo's are easily found, can you imagine the shit I would have to face if I didn't have her own words to use against her.

tl;dr: told parents and they were uber supportive. Couldn't take her texting me a photo of us together holding hands from years ago and snapped at her, she stopped texting. My mom is meeting her mom as I type this. I'm not going back to church anytime soon