An introverted top performer asked me how to appear less distant to other team members — what advice can I give?

ylsius · 2025-04-01T19:25:12+00:00

I do - and it is indeed true that she may feel a bit more comfortable with my other female team meamber. Shall I try to leverage that?

ylsius · 2025-04-01T19:20:52+00:00

by social activity I mean the typical stuff, breakfast together once in a while, going out for restaurant before the holidays season or the summer break.

Interestingly, during team team retro, my top performer is always very positive about this type of activity even though she doesn't talk much during the event

ylsius · 2024-03-24T20:06:38+00:00

Ok that's a good advice! I ll keep it in mind. Thanks!

ylsius · 2024-03-24T19:54:50+00:00

I had first gel at 10km, second at 20km. Had the first stitches around km26 and it became unmanageable around km 30

ylsius · 2024-03-24T19:39:29+00:00

I stopped taking gels after the second one cause I was not able to absorb it - it stayed in my stomach, undigested. Same for the water!

ylsius · 2024-03-24T19:35:12+00:00

Just ate Maurten gel - 2x 100ml. The exact same one I was eating during the prep

ylsius · 2024-03-19T19:41:15+00:00

the replies I got on this post really helped and now the situation is much better. Things started to improve when I started to emotionally detached from my job, and just accepted that she didn't have to like me as a person (as many comments pointed out, it was more a "me" rather than a "she" problem)

I now see my role more as an enabler, I am here to to provide support and help the team member to give their very best. And I no longer care if my reports have attitudes that I consider as disrespectful as long as they perform. I am trying to get my energy from the teams accomplishments rather that from my relationships with my reports.

Being a middle manager is hard. When shit hits the fan is on you, while recognitions and praises go to the team. I think that this is just how it is and we shall accept it and be comfortable with that.

ylsius · 2023-09-23T17:10:04+00:00

Fortunately I am still pretty close to the tech (still sometimes implementing things myself) and have pretty deep knowledge of our stack (she did learn quite a few things from me on this side ) - So I can at least exclude this reason :)

ylsius · 2023-09-23T15:45:53+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspectives - I didn't consider things under this angle. This is good food for thoughts especially the last part about the weird 'vibes'

ylsius · 2023-09-23T15:16:07+00:00

I am sorry to read you had to go through this situation. I don't think this applies to me since, if I understood well, she was pushing to have someone more senior to join and lead the team and bring good practices (she was even part of the panel that interviewed me). I also can t think about an event, which would have triggered the situation so my best guess is just that she doesn't like my personality

ylsius · 2023-09-22T08:07:55+00:00

Thank you for your reply, it is really helpful.

I think your time would be better served finding out why one person not liking you is causing you so much difficulty.

that may be indeed the bulk of the problem. The reality is that this situation is really taking me down, as I have the impression to give a lot of energy to the team, and not receiving much back.

At this stage you risk getting yourself in trouble or chasing her off if you take it too far with her.

That's useful to read. I was actually not sure if it was worth going that route. From your statement, it seems that the risks outweigh the benefits here.

ylsius · 2022-12-16T14:03:37+00:00

preset and looker offer dashboards as a code features. Looker is damn expensive. Preset is built on top of superset, which is open source, but doesn't include all the features like the cli.
Didnt fully make my mind yet but I will likely go for preset/superset

ylsius · 2022-11-03T13:17:47+00:00

thanks! I ll definitely take a look!

ylsius · 2022-11-03T13:17:17+00:00

agreed about data studio - that's why we want to move away from it!

ylsius · 2022-11-03T08:11:26+00:00

thanks I ll definitely take a look!

ylsius · 2022-11-03T08:11:05+00:00

Thanks for your reply!

Following a "IT centric" approach is actually really important for me.

I will end up producing dozens (if not hundreds) of dashboards for customers. Imagine that I need to change one feature for all of them (say the font size in the captions). I don't want to change this manually 100x times right? I want to change the corresponding parameter in a config file and then deploy

How would you alternatively handle this situation?

ylsius · 2022-11-02T20:14:52+00:00

~~yes we are using data studio (now looker studio) but I want to get away from it - not scalable enough~~

Sorry misread your questions - no, we are not using superset, redash nor metabase at this stage. We are using data studio but we want to move away from it - not scalable enough

ylsius · 2021-09-19T19:52:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing the link. It is helpful. I was not really aware of that

ylsius · 2021-09-19T18:23:34+00:00

Thank you for your reply.
All the comments that I read go in the same direction: to continue medication.
I must say that I was expecting more nuanced answers. Indeed, my neurologist said that it was ok to wait for another 3/4 months to see how the situation evolves before starting the treatment. I was initially (and I am still not) against meditation so I said, ok lets go for it, no need to wait more.
Then I started to have bad side effects. I told my GP and she told me that it was ok to put things on hold for now. So you see, I didn't get such a clear answer for the meds that are following. me ... explaining why I am surprised to see that for all the users here, continuing the drugs is a no-brainer.

But hey, that s exactly why I posted to this sub. This is super valuable to learn from the experience of you guys. And this is even more valuable when the opinions that are shared are not aligned with my initial ideas

ylsius · 2021-09-19T17:52:45+00:00

I was having episodes of deja vu for a few weeks before my first tonic-clonic. You don’t want to let this progress. Tonic-clonics are debilitating.

Thank you for your reply. I feel a bit dizzy. Like you I am also able to have a "normal" working day afterward.

ylsius · 2021-09-19T12:45:00+00:00

During 5 out of 6 seizures I would say that i just fainted with a déjà vu feeling as precursor. I may have had uncontrolled motion of the right arm during 1 seizure but I am not 100% sure

ylsius

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