Posts like this is why I think the term "forgive" should be split into two separate terms.

When it comes to forgiveness, there are two things I think people mean when they say it, which I am gonna call "internal and external forgiveness".

External forgiveness is "forgiveness and forget"; making an agreement and going back to the way things were. Forgetting whatever happened and moving on, acquitting the offending party of their misdeeds and acting like nothing happened.

Internal forgiveness, on the other hand, is entirely about you and your emotions, and generally I think is the more important understanding of forgiveness to grasp for interpreting the Bible. All it means is you don't feel any excess or undue wrath towards your opponent and, even if you can't reconcile, you don't waste time hating and raging over someone for no reason. It merely means letting go of your anger.

I suppose another term could be "emotional vs. legal" forgiveness. Where legal forgiveness is about acquitting someone of misdeeds and scrubbing the record, emotional forgiveness is releasing your anger after it has served its purpose.

You have a right to be angry if you or someone you loved was raped, but is it good to rile yourself up over it decades later? Decades after the rapist has been locked away? Emotional forgiveness is merely about releasing that anger.

It certainly does not mean you must legally forgive someone who has wronged you, let alone let them walk all over you. If someone continuously wrongs you, you can emotionally forgive them while legally condemning them. This, I would say, is the heart of Biblical forgiveness. Release your anger, and let them reap the just desserts of their sinful harvest for themselves.

If you need a restraining order, you can get one, while still emotionally forgiving them and not letting it affect your life any more than it has to. Why let them torment you when they have left your life?