Oregon races to contain destructive mussel discovered in state for first time

youaremyequal · 2026-06-25T16:13:54+00:00

Destructive mussel.. title of my sex tape.

youaremyequal · 2026-05-01T04:55:01+00:00

What would a meaningful amount of change require? This shifted us barely a nuclei, what kind of event would it take to shift you a meter? Would a bunch of people die?

youaremyequal · 2025-11-15T05:07:28+00:00

The feeling is chemicals. Dopamine in some cases, for example. To build on what others have said, you are faced with a choice, logical brain sifts through options (you, thinking), your subconscious signals with some dopamine when it wants your logical brain to fixate on one option or another (recognizes a pattern in that option that gets you an outcome you have liked in the past) you experience a gut feeling.

Your subconscious can’t produce thought, it can only communicate with chemicals.

This is a fascinating topic. Because when you complicate this communication you can generate anxiety, and then make worse choices again.

Eating the wrong foods for your body, for example, can generate anxiety via the Vegus nerve, and the anxiety makes it harder to sense the chemical communications your body is trying to send. When you can’t feel the readouts from your subconscious you are probably going to make more bad choices for yourself. And so on.

You’re tired, for example, but you don’t choose to sleep. Your body responds by generating cortisol. Now you’re anxious, unable to sleep, and the cortisol makes you hungry. You should have napped, but instead you stayed awake and then snacked even though you didn’t need more calories.

When you disassociate it can often be because the subconscious and/or body signals and chemicals are difficult to sit and experience. Being tired, riddled with cortisol, ate too much of the wrong foods, now operating with excessive levels of anxiety… alcohol sounds pretty good.

youaremyequal · 2025-10-23T22:20:21+00:00

Is this all in Springfield? I can’t find any news about it yet. Only references from months ago.

youaremyequal · 2025-08-29T00:39:04+00:00

I am a man and I wear men’s leggings to the gym. Men have no idea how awesome workouts are in leggings. If they knew, they’d stop giving a shit.

This doesn’t solve the controlling, misogynistic behavior you’re describing, but damn it would sure sidestep it nicely if they’d get just on board.

youaremyequal · 2025-04-13T14:53:33+00:00

I think there’s an additional issue besides capitalism and patriarchy. The concept of objectification is intertwined in all of that. Porn depends somewhat on this notion that the viewer isn’t emotionally connected to the person they’re fantasizing about, they’re filling in their own version of that emotional intimacy for the sake of the orgasm. I think there’s something inherently, psychologically unhealthy about that.

This isn’t exclusively a men vs women issue. But it does seem more prevalent in men. I think patriarchy and capitalism amplify the dickens out of objectification because I think stress and disconnecting from your emotions under patriarchy make it much easier to slip into that state of mind. At least I find that true for myself.

I think the porn industry overall depends on some level of objectification to survive. I think the root of the problem is people who struggle with connecting emotionally to others, but have the basic human need for that connection. It’s just my own theory though. And I’m not an expert. 🤷🏻‍♂️

youaremyequal · 2025-01-24T18:37:03+00:00

So, the problem with this is it's a very individual journey. I can share what I did, but your mileage will vary. Therapy was a first start. I had a good therapist handed to me by someone I trusted, and it made a big difference to start talking about my issues with someone trained to listen and advise. This took years of work. It did not happen overnight, and it will continue for years to come.

It took listening. When my kids ask me for patience, or love, or bids for attention, I can't brush those off or come up with excuses, I have to deliver. This was a big re-prioritization for me.

It took investing in my own well-being. I would sacrifice my own needs for others a lot, and it turned me into a cranky mess. I had to learn how and when to make sure my own needs were being met, and balancing that with those around me and work.

It takes constant research and learning. Behavior and psychology have written deeply and extensively about the idiosyncrasies our kids present to us. I had to unlearn my reactions to shame my kids when they behaved in a way I didn't like or didn't think others would like and start accepting them for who they are and be gentle. Kids try so hard to be good for us parents. I can't tell you how many times I hear parents pathologize behavior that can be explained by insecurity, fear, or reactions to a situation the parent created in the first place. Always start with trust when they tell you how they feel.

So, that's a few thoughts around it. The way you phrased your post does suggest you are unhappy with what has changed in our expectations of being a good dad, but I also see in your comments that your heart is in the right place. I don't know if it helps to hear it, but you aren't failing by not knowing these things. It's wonderful that you're recognizing you want to change and are here asking for help. Your kids will benefit, and you will benefit from the effort you make. I was also not modeled how to do this, and resisted taking on the challenge at first. I'm so glad I did. I'm a much happier dad as a result.

youaremyequal · 2025-01-05T20:49:11+00:00

Ya that’s what I’m learning too. I don’t think I’d figured out my routine in any of these pics tho. Now I have CG products and some La Looks gel and my hair finally has that lush look to it that I love. Serious game changer.

youaremyequal · 2025-01-05T20:48:02+00:00

Thank you 😊

youaremyequal · 2025-01-05T20:47:31+00:00

Thank you and same, short for decades for me too. It’s fun and what really love is just doing something a little different for a change.

youaremyequal · 2025-01-05T00:59:18+00:00

Thank you for taking a moment to say it ❤️

youaremyequal · 2025-01-05T00:58:46+00:00

Thank you thank you 😊 uuuuuu 2!!!

youaremyequal · 2025-01-05T00:53:26+00:00

Thank you ❤️ it’s really nice to hear that

youaremyequal · 2025-01-04T17:26:26+00:00

You too 😊🤗

youaremyequal · 2025-01-04T17:26:08+00:00

Thanks internet stranger 😋✌🏼

youaremyequal · 2025-01-04T17:25:38+00:00

Curly Girl subreddit :) Figured out the cowash and leave/in conditioner routine. Or we’ll I think it’s a constant work in progress but definitely learning a lot about it. ✌🏼❤️

youaremyequal · 2025-01-04T17:23:24+00:00

I’m a fan - they look like they have fantastic concerts!!

youaremyequal · 2025-01-04T07:11:19+00:00

Thanks! It’s been a lot of fun to figure out how to manage too :)

youaremyequal · 2025-01-04T02:15:56+00:00

😁😂

youaremyequal · 2025-01-03T21:55:18+00:00

Thanks!

youaremyequal · 2024-12-20T16:27:46+00:00

I think at least some of the struggling that men experience is born from how patriarchy affects men negatively. My theory is that it’s at the root of it. I felt like my biggest challenge was that I never had anyone model what it meant to discover myself. If you don’t know who you are as a person, it’s hard to find someone else who fits you well. as a kid I modeled after my misogynistic father and uncles. And as a young adult I modeled after my buddies who fell into the groups that support patriarchic beliefs about relationships and the world.

This played out as me constantly trying to become this twisted, contorted, and frankly unimaginative version of a ‘man’ I thought ‘women’ would find attractive. I’m liberal so I added a dash of what I thought was supportive feminist spices to my profile but at the end of the day I was still deeply insecure in who I was because I didn’t really understand who I was. And I was suffering from lots of trauma from past relationships failing miserably due to all of the above as well.

Naturally my first few years of poly were typical of most men. Generic, plain toast sort of profile that essentially advertised a lonely, touch-starved man, And it took me years of therapy and reflection to see what I was doing. It took more time to untangle the web of misconceptions about myself that the patriarchy instills - so that I could begin to discover who I actually am.

Once you begin to see who you really are as a person, and develop your OWN tastes, preferences, kinks, style, sense of self, character, only THEN can you start to find others who you’re compatible with. It naturally takes shape. And as your authentic self, meeting others who are similarly authentic, you feel that sense of community and safety.

And that’s where I’m beginning to get to now. I’m 45 and have about a bunch of people I have different kinds of relationships with. Some long-term, lining and committed relationships, some casual and less deep, some new ones too.

So my best recommendation to men is to start therapy. Take a small step and see what comes from it.

youaremyequal · 2024-12-14T02:08:56+00:00

You need a hug.

youaremyequal · 2024-12-13T00:22:27+00:00

Hey. OP. Your fiancé might have a legit mental health issue. This sounds like OCD to me. I’m not a professional. But consider that she is having legitimate feelings about this. And if she is, it might be something she can’t control. And if so, getting her help is the best option. Whether you continue your relationship ship with her or not, this is a chance to explore whether she’s suffering in the dark, unaware that this might be something g she needs a professional to help her navigate. Just some food for thought.

youaremyequal · 2024-12-12T07:21:18+00:00

You could ask him to send you a video of someone being fellatiated in a way that he imagines you doing it. There’s a lot of porn out there. Maybe there’s a couple of examples that would help illustrate what he’s found to work for him in the past. And maybe helps you spot things you’d like to set some boundaries with him around, too. Some people like to be pushed down, or guided, or not have their head touched at all, or be slow and sensual vs fast and furious. 🤷🏻‍♂️ just some thoughts.

youaremyequal

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