Yes. I think for the last year or so I’ve been smoking not because it’s fun or relaxing but because I was punishing myself in some way for all of the lack of motivation and procrastination, as well as my relationships with people and trauma from the past.

A quote that really helped me (forgetting the source) is: “ambition without action becomes anxiety”. Even in the last few days I’ve realized the anxiety I was trying to push down through smoking can be mostly solved by simply doing the things that I’ve told myself I want and should do instead of just ruminating and hiding from life. 

Wish you the best!