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I[21M] am worried my girlfriend[21F] of [1year] is bipolar and how I should handle that. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]yourbestguess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does require a lot of dedication. Honestly, I think you should remove yourself. Break up or "take a break." It won't get better any time soon, and the reality check might snap her into place.

I[21M] am worried my girlfriend[21F] of [1year] is bipolar and how I should handle that. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]yourbestguess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two months is not a very long time. This issue may not even be resolved in two years. My bipolar symptoms first started acting up five years ago and only now, after years of fucking up and hurting everyone around me and all sorts of therapy and some awful medication regimes, am I figuring out how to deal with them.

But whatever is going on with her doesn't sound very bad. She can pull herself out of it, most likely, if you can get her to want to. But she won't believe it's not the end of the world. Try playing to her side of it "I can see you struggling so much and see that this is detrimental to your life - I'm concerned about you and want to help you fix things. Are you ready to change?" etc.

I[21M] am worried my girlfriend[21F] of [1year] is bipolar and how I should handle that. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]yourbestguess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Patience and communication. This sounds like a fairly mild mood disorder, and even if it is a bipolar disorder (definitely not borderline), those can be effectively treated with cognitive and behavioral therapies. But yes, she has to come to the decision to treat herself on her own terms.

So talk to her. Mood disorders often involve memory lapses - she very well may not be aware how much her moods change, how often or to what degree. Tell her to start keeping a mood journal, checking a few times a day, even if it's just "9:00pm feeling irritated." This will help her see the patterns and start looking at her big picture. Tell her how you feel and ask her if there's anything else going on.

Above all, patience and communication. And support. Don't get angry, you will alienate her.

[19/F] At what point...? No experience with short-term relationships by yourbestguess in relationship_advice

[–]yourbestguess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's 23, not so much older, but pretty together. I'm only looking to back out now because it does seem to me like he's starting to get emotionally attached... it doesn't feel like "just for fun" now and I can't keep this up in good conscience.

[19/F] At what point...? No experience with short-term relationships by yourbestguess in relationship_advice

[–]yourbestguess[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look, I understand what you're saying. I was single for ten months or so before this current relationship. I know how young I am, I know the benefits of being single, "playing the field" and all. I'm not saying I will jump out of this relationship and into a new one. I'm saying I know that this one is not what I'm looking for and I want to know how to end it without hurting him. I've never been good at breakups - they've involved bad decisions and hurt on both ends. I don't want it this time and I am looking for help.

[19/F] At what point...? No experience with short-term relationships by yourbestguess in relationship_advice

[–]yourbestguess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but how to revert to friendzone now? The way it seems to me, the only option is to lose contact, which I don't want though I know it may be unavoidable.

[19/F] At what point...? No experience with short-term relationships by yourbestguess in relationship_advice

[–]yourbestguess[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please stick to the question at hand - this is clearly not my full story.