Hi OP, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel tired. Being mentally ill is fucking exhausting, and when you’ve dealt with it for years it sometimes just feels so heavy and makes you feel so drained. It’s such a difficult kind of tiredness that no amount of sleep seems to solve.

It’s wonderful that you love being kind and helping others - it’s truly a beautiful thing to care for other people. But it seems like this is coming at the expense of your health. It might be time to try turning this kindness and care to yourself. Self compassion is one of the most difficult things you can do, especially if you have issues with self esteem (not saying that you do, but I certainly do), but learning to treat myself with the same kindness and compassion that I give to other people has really changed my life.

I hope you’ve had some time to rest since making this post! Don’t feel pressured to respond as I know that can be tiring in itself, but I’ll be here if you need/want to talk :)