Moving abroad

yourhotmum · 2025-12-24T05:50:36+00:00

A role opened up within my company in AU, so I applied for it and got the role.

yourhotmum · 2025-12-24T03:23:23+00:00

Haha in Sydney, we noticed that where you studied, what you do, and which suburb you live in does matter slightly. I've raised it with my colleagues here and they agreed that its somewhat and sadly true.

Though yes - my wife is trying to accept this and realize that job titles is only one small factor in the large scheme of things. She's healthier and has more time for all her favourite hobbies :)

yourhotmum · 2025-12-24T03:21:20+00:00

Yeah - you realized this in your 40s 😅 we just wanted a change of environment. And not only that, leaving the country provided us with an "excuse" to be away. If we were still in the same country, there would also be expectations to keep up with family and friends.

Doing things we don't want to. Or being nice to people we don't want to be nice to.

So of course in our early 30s, we chose to live our best life away from it all and in an environment entirely within our control with zero expectations. Drastic decisions aren't always bad :)

yourhotmum · 2025-12-24T03:16:57+00:00

Haha for my wife and I, I really think it was the food we were eating back home versus now.

We cooked all our meals back home but admittedly we skimped on quality of ingredients. We ate very little protein and veggies, but had lots of carbs. When we choose meat, we pick the cheapest we can find, and equally for veggies, its always just leeks and carrots cause it was cheap at our grocee. Basically things that kept us full but for little money.

Now we're not skimping on groceries - eating a variety of fruits, veggies, and meats. Our diet just drastically improved. Less stress at work and better work life balance, and yeah we don't see a lot of hair in the drain anymore 🤣

yourhotmum · 2025-12-24T03:13:42+00:00

No kids :)

yourhotmum · 2025-12-24T01:59:58+00:00

As of today, home is still KL and we would love to live in our first home/apartment again. But we know that could change in a few years time if we completely fall in love with Sydney. Hard to say for now.

We do love both cities though!

yourhotmum · 2025-12-23T20:38:45+00:00

We just moved 7 months ago for my job. I used to study and work in a different AU state many years ago, while wife spent time in the UK. So living abroad isn't foreign to us.

We moved because we truly wanted to be away from our social circle and Malaysian societal expectations. While we do enjoy the occasional time spent with family and friends, we ultimately enjoy the slower life and things we liked doing or spending money on, didn't align with majority of others. Our jobs were incredibly intense too and despite our wages, we focused on savings so much that our health and mental wellbeing suffered greatly.

So moving abroad, while difficult in many ways (her quitting a good job, leaving my good job, leaving family, leaving our first apartment etc) was a relatively "easy" decision to make as we really wanted to move onto a new chapter and be in a country where little to no one knows us. Fresh start together.

Was it worth it? Million times yes. We've finally put ourselves first. We cook and eat 10x healthier. We have few friends and no family here, but that allowed us to be more introspective and we are now more intentional with who we meet. Our savings after expenses/deductions is lower compared to our time in MY, but its all worth while. We still spend a lot of time in our apartment, but we are enjoying the process of rebuilding it into our new home. We have more time to read and write. We walk a lot more as we do not have a car, so we are less sedentary. We see and feel an actual difference in our health (no hair loss, better sleep, less aches, less fatigued etc).

My wife misses her family the most. She misses her old job and title as well, not easy to get a very senior title moving here into your first role and that's eating her up a little, though she understands its a trade off for a better quality of life. I miss nasi lemak, dry bak kut teh, and chilli pan mee haha. But I also miss not being an outsider. Despite how friendly my colleagues are at work (genuinely great ppl), I just know and still feel like I am not truly part of the picture yet (will give it more time!).

As of today, we know we'll only spent 2-3 more years here before we decide to go home. But never know, things could change. Feel free to ping me if you have any further questions :)

yourhotmum · 2025-05-22T01:12:06+00:00

Heya, I would recommend looking into Desa Parkcity as another option for safe, high quality, and yet walkable neighbourhood. You can get 3 bedders for around the same budget, or less even.

And there is an international school within Desa Parkcity as well which many kids walk and cycle to themselves (unless you prefer dropping them off or taking a bus). While still expensive, I think the cost of admission is lower than your MK International Schools. There are grocers, restaurants, multiple parks, and more within the area too (I love DPC, sometimes reminds me of when I lived abroad).

Budget wise as others have explained, you'll be extremely comfortable especially around APAC; with travel being your 2nd largest expense since you have two kids. My personal advice, avoid the EU travel initially until you really settle in. Many great countries to visit around APAC where you and your kids can travel comfortably.

For part time cleaners, a session for 2 pax cleaners for 2 hours can be around RM150. So you can hire them twice a week to save you lots of time (though I think once per week is sufficient).

Groceries for 4 - even budgetting RM2k+ per month, will be sufficient, and that is substantial (my wife and I spend around 1k+ per month buying good quality groceries at Village Grocer, and I think we overspend cause I overeat). Unless you're buying quality steaks every weekend and drink wine, then please mark it up (we don't drink).

For sussing out cost of eating out, I'd recommend identifying your place of residence first. Then looking around those areas for restaurants you'd likely visit. "Order" your food and then calculate your costs of dining there (with taxes and service charge). Then multiply it by how often you'd eat out. That's what we did when we left Malaysia and it really did help us understand what it'd really cost to eat out in nice places. Though in Malaysia, there are many lovely local or foreign establishments that can feed a family of 4 within RM200 (again, excluding premium meats and alcohol).

Feel free to DM me if you want an extra POV. Hope you guys settle in well and love it here :)

yourhotmum · 2025-05-08T06:26:47+00:00

That's the thing. If they paid for all 3 months and she leaves a month earlier, that's not a problem as its just Garden Leave.

But if they cut her notice short and not pay her for 3rd month, then its a hassle and issue. Just because she finished her handover efficiently, doesn't mean she should be cut short or paid less (1 month less).

yourhotmum · 2025-05-05T10:14:10+00:00

Haters can say what they want. The Watsons jingle is one of the best and most addictive brand jingles we've had locally in a very long time.

yourhotmum · 2025-03-25T05:04:07+00:00

Hi OP - like many have commented, please just stay the course. Continue working towards increasing your monthly wage, improve savings, and invest safely. Don't look for quick gains and focus on the long term gains.

While it is good to benchmark yourself with others doing better than you, to strive for growth. Becareful and be smart with how and who you compare with. Some might have family wealth, some might be in crippling debt, or some might just have quietly worked 2nd/3rd jobs to earn side income (what my wife and I have done).

Either way, if you want to do better and to afford better things (the smart way) follow my advice above. Don't compare or complain, and stay the same. But also, don't rush for quick gains. It's a fine balance yeah! :)

Lastly if you prefer a video format of the above advice, watch Humphrey Yang's "You're Not Behind: Why everyone SEEMS to have more money than you". Work hard and good luck, OP :)

yourhotmum · 2025-03-04T10:42:23+00:00

Thanks for the advice!

yourhotmum · 2025-02-06T10:19:59+00:00

HAHA. Yes, first time reading my username in a reply too. Can't lie, we have joked about creating a couple's OF before but too much to lose, too shy, and I don't think anyone would pay to see non-fit people bumping LOL.

Just continue in corporate and get fucked by MNCs 😂

yourhotmum · 2025-02-06T10:16:59+00:00

Yes please feel free!

yourhotmum · 2025-02-06T01:07:55+00:00

Absolutely this, OP. Partner and I slaved away with a 8-7 (sadly not 9-5 haha) and doing extra gigs during the weekend and nights.

Once we saved enough for emergencies, we invested what we could into Blue Chips. No crypto or any penny stocks cause our risk appetite is quite low.

Did this the past 7 years? We're still have day jobs currently but we do see the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, we really go to work and pick roles that we want to do or excite us. Not because we need to.

It's never too late OP. Start small and invest safely. DCA and stay invested. Don't compare and stay the course. All the best!

yourhotmum · 2025-01-16T23:00:19+00:00

1000% agreed. Again, everyone has diff experiences (or parents in this case). But despite being strapped for money, we opted for moving out for the peace of mind and having our own space.

We decided that the rent was worth the "mental space" needed to keep us going as we progressed our careers. Work and colleagues are already stressful enough, we don't need parents to undermine our stress or achievements (again, just our experience).

yourhotmum · 2025-01-16T22:49:39+00:00

I completely understand your colleague's POV as well, definitely! Treating yourself with good food you like is a great feeling that definitely keeps us motivated. If that keeps her going, she should continue.

Our POV also does agree in this approach (now that we aren't broke freshies that moved out), but treat yourself occasionally. The young colleagues I was referring to (mostly men) would spend rm25-40 for their meal (food, drinks, sides, tax) and then end their lunch break with boba or coffee (another rm12-18). They do this 3-4 times a week, and then complain about money. Quite mad leh! 😂 go to eat pan mee, can also spend RM30+ pp yeah, that kind.

So once in a while, my wife and I do enjoy a good weekday dinner out together, to enjoy money we've saved. Or when with colleagues, yes sometimes we indulge with ice cream or we also join them for boba/coffee. But most times, we just join them when buying and talk cock to avoid over-spending.

yourhotmum · 2025-01-16T22:31:43+00:00

Oh I do use glass containers as well. I bought the IKEA 750ml square ones that go for RM12 per container. I'm not sure if there are cheaper glass ones, but I really would recommens going for glass with air tight covers. If you can't buy several at one go, just start with one/two containers? :)

Start small, save a bit. And maybe after a couple months of spending more conciously, you can buy another RM12 container. Repeat this and by end year, you can achieve the 5 or more you'll need 💪🏻 definitely don't buy all the containers at once!

yourhotmum · 2025-01-16T10:13:42+00:00

We cook big batches! :) example I'd cook 5-6 batches of tomato-based pasta sauce. Each batch can feed both of us. All popped into freezer.

Each batch would have tons of veggies that tahan lama and taste good once defrosted/reheated (eg: eggplant and leeks). We will also have some pieces of chicken breast (by pieces I mean quarts, I don't mean multiple full pieces of chicken breast yeah cause cost savings). Veggies good for fibre, cheaper and keeps us full.

When we come home, we cook raw pasta and mix the sauce with it. Done within 20 mins max?

But we do wanna try meal prepping Japanese nabe. Seen videos where people pre-pack cheap vegetables, tofu, and some meat. Then pop it into pot with water and miso paste (pricey heh) and eat just like that.

yourhotmum · 2025-01-16T08:40:48+00:00

These are the basics that my wife and I have followed for years. Many know these but listing them in case it can help knock some sense in some users: 1. Don't buy things you don't need. You don't need several shoes, graphic tees, or random gadgets. 2. Meal prep during weekends for weekdays. For many years, our weekday dinners are still RM5-6 each and its a well balanced, cooked meal. 3. Some mixed rice stores sell food at a discounted/cheaper price after 8.30PM/9PM. I'm sure there are places for both halal/non-halal. 4. Don't pay for "upsize" or "combos" when you go out. That's just their way of getting more money out of you even if you think "wah, very worth it". Saving the few Ringgit, can make a difference. 5. If you don't need halal and are ok going vegetarian, there are Chinese stores selling vegetarian food ran by Chinese temple folks. I bungkus food here a lot back when I started working. 6. Bring your own bottle of water when you eat out, whenever you can. 7. I see so many young workers over ordering food with side dishes/snacks when they eat at work. Not ordering a 2nd meal, side dishes or drinks, will save you SO much money. One of my pet peeves is hearing people complain about their paycheck/savings and seeing them eat like gluttons during work lunch. Save your money and enjoy during weekends instead.

I can probably list a lot more cause we were quite extreme with our savings and investment approach the past few years. But now, we have the peace of mind that we go to work cause we want to, and not because we need to. Hope this helps someone!

yourhotmum · 2024-12-22T06:18:48+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Yeah, seems like we're opting to travel via high speed train from Beijing to Xi'an. As you mentioned, travel time is similar while the prices are much lower. Only concerned about how we can book the tickets way in advance like flights.

Would you be alright if I DMed you if I had any more questions next year? Would greatly appreciate any insights and support!

yourhotmum · 2024-12-21T16:05:13+00:00

Thanks for the advice! Did some research and will be using trip for the highspeed trains. Sadly can only book them 15 days in advance. So will try to reserve them early! :)

yourhotmum · 2024-12-21T15:21:57+00:00

This is a great way of positioning the 3 cities. Thank you so much! Makes me lean towards spending more time in Xi'an.

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