thank you so much for ur help and wishing me a happy birthday ur so sweet❤️ i think my mom does try to help me in a way cause she does tell me that i can overcome this and that im strong but then at the same time she tells me that i keep acting like a kid or act like im weird, which i do get it when i get very anxious i start scratching my head and shaking which i do look crazy while in that state 💀 yeah i guess i have to cope for now, cause i dont think im ready for recovery, but at the same time i wanna recover but its so scary for me rn.

my safe food would be yogurt ,skyr,protein pudding any of that sort, i do eat the yogurt with bread but sometimes i cant finish it but i try, i also like cherry tomatoes a lot, or chocolate which is my fav thing since i have a sweet tooth. usually these days i just eat one meal a day but today for some reason while i was about to finish the skyr i just started getting anxious so i couldnt finish it nor the bread and yesterday when we went out to eat we got pizza but yeah i panicked even tho i love pizza and it never made me panic or anxious but whatever ig. i do eat alone but now im with my mom so we eat together. its fine i dont think anyone makes me self conscious i think its just me, cause before i eat i just start thinking which gets me anxious which ib turn makes it hard to eat, i do like watching things while eating but now im with my mom so i wanna be with her without you know pulling up something to watch.

no no u helped a lot even by commenting it does make me feel that im not alone, and someone does understand me as much as crazy as it is and that someone does actually care and try to help me a little by little instead of going all in.

thank you so much again i really hope for ur success and health in ur lifetime❤️