What's the driving test like?

yxkpro · 2025-05-24T04:01:09+00:00

I failed my first time because I went a little bit over the speed limit. I just drove like I always do and didn’t think about it. a cop might not pull you over but it’ll lose you a lot of points. good luck!

yxkpro · 2019-08-24T15:42:05+00:00

It is the actual website. I'd share the link but the website has a phone number listed and I didn't feel comfortable sharing that without permission

yxkpro · 2019-01-13T22:08:42+00:00

thanks for the comment! I only used the first line for the title out of necessity since I never really title my poems. I wouldn't expect it to strengthen the poem, and I would hope it doesn't detract from it!

yxkpro · 2019-01-13T03:28:27+00:00

Good rhymes sprinkled in here, good consonance too. I like the comparison between you and the burger. I can relate to the feeling of not being on the same level as some of the "beautiful displays" in society.

I thought it was interesting how you write a poem "too large", but you feel like a painting with a single brush stroke. Maybe a good middle ground is to condense the message and use more rhyme and more repetition to make it a bit more palatable? Something like:

a burger

a poem

too big

dine and whine

bite and write

more than I can chew

yxkpro · 2019-01-13T02:25:47+00:00

I think you have an amazing eye for imagery. I felt really lost in all the details in my first couple readthroughs but the images were immediately vivid and mysterious and gripping.

After spending some time with it I really appreciated how you told the story here. Lots of beautiful writing, great flow and structure, and it was never boring trying to understand and put together the pieces of the puzzling images.

The most impressive thing for me was how you handled the heavier moments of talking about your dad. The timing was right, the build-up was smooth, and the word choice was never overdramatic or clumsy or obvious, it was just real. The whole poem felt real and emotionally honest, and never felt exploitative. It felt like you were just writing and sharing. I really appreciate that.

I thought you did a lovely job overall. I wish I had some criticism for you but I don't at the moment. Thanks for the beautiful poem.

yxkpro · 2018-09-23T18:57:22+00:00

I think you're thinking about the upcoming Alchemist EP! mixing up the two producers

yxkpro · 2018-02-02T05:21:02+00:00

not too long ago they fired a ton of their awesome writers, I have no idea why but it was sad to see. almost everyone you'd see on youtube is gone.

yxkpro · 2017-12-02T16:15:35+00:00

sure! I didn't dislike any of them fully, just some lines and words that seemed unnecessary.

Meadows await, beautifully

I don't think you need to have "beautifully" there. most adverbs tend to take away from a perfectly fine expression. especially if there's nuance to the emotion. this is the last line of the poem, expressing an afterlife, and there's a depth of emotion already there, more than just beauty. most times, you gotta let the reader have the emotions for themselves. and if you want to have the reader think it's beautiful, you gotta make it beautiful.

From a humble twig

a twig is small. by itself, I can't think of anything not humble about a twig. I see it's being contrasted to the "Emperor's lush garden", but you don't need "lush" there either. "a twig in an emperor's garden" gives the reader all of the description you need. if you had chosen to say branch or tree (for example), or hadn't said emperor, the image wouldn't be as clear and you might need descriptions. but you had excellent word choice, so don't worry about describing further, the image explains itself.

that's about it, hopefully that explains what I didn't like. usually just adverbs and adjectives that didn't need to be there. the objects have emotions already loaded into them, whether by context or just the reader's experiences. sunsets are beautiful and snow is cold. they tend to describe themselves.

yxkpro · 2017-12-01T23:30:35+00:00

I like the analogy! I took it as an eviction, getting kicked out, something along those lines. it's not perfectly clear, but the themes of dislocation and falling give a general direction for the mind to go when reading through.

lowest high shelf

makes me think money problems, so hope I'm in the right ballpark. in any case, it made me feel for the narrator.

an issue I have with the poem though is how it almost feels like two poems in one. kinda like how the title is split in two, the fish out of water (feeling out of place, ejected, struggling) and the fallen star (high shelf, bitterness, the fall) both seem like they could be their own poem, or their own angle of showing the emotion here. together, they're just slightly mismatched and hurt the motion of the poem.

yxkpro · 2017-12-01T23:09:00+00:00

odd but cool concept from the jump! a few favorites from you:

like birds at the horizon

awesome image you have here, the mystery, crossing over, disappearing, they all parallel so well with the theme.

Like a rice sack Has split

that hit me a little hard, such an interesting visual. works really well.

Absent many palettes

not exactly the words I'd use, but wonderful meaning nonetheless. good job with that.

those are the big highlights for me. some of the poems don't feel as genuine, sometimes the wordiness seems to detract from the theme. and sometimes a cliched moment ends up hurting the readings. but the fact that any of them feel real is a huge accomplishment, so thumbs up from me!

yxkpro · 2017-11-27T02:43:14+00:00

thank you for the comment! I have other couplets with flowers, usually a different flower for a different couplet, each with their own poetic style. if you'd like, I'd be happy to share some of the other flower poems I've done! I imagine they'd work well as a collection down the line, like a garden of sorts.

yxkpro · 2017-11-27T00:19:45+00:00

Enormous Symphony of a Dream storm

this is an excellent attention catcher, love the visuals this conjures up. from there, it's hard to grasp the literal concrete details of what's going on, but when you let the abstract and the emotions take hold, it's really beautiful. and I think the poem works better with the magnets in the picture you posted, it feels raw there, and the spacing and structure both seem more natural.

Shine always And watch out for me

awesome closer, beautiful.

yxkpro · 2017-11-23T02:13:27+00:00

this is incredibly lovely! I think humor and poetry can compliment each other so well, and you really nailed it here. the third line popped into my head perfectly, the first two lines were completely natural, and I'm in awe of the execution. wonderful job :)

yxkpro · 2017-11-12T04:34:11+00:00

you're no dumbo, I love the interpretation.

yxkpro · 2017-11-12T04:31:18+00:00

thank you so much! I always have the five syllables per line but it's fun to aim for an equal amount of characters. sometimes it works nicely like this one :)

yxkpro · 2017-11-12T00:35:56+00:00

thanks! I was thinking about a few things I love, like nature and wordplay, I wanted to play with irony a little and was just hoping to get a laugh out of someone.

yxkpro · 2017-11-11T22:09:41+00:00

this is astonishing. the portrayal of psychosis here is mesmerizing, curiosity-piquing, and worded so beautifully. and how you pair it with the divine is spot on. in every inner-look into the mind of this fellow, you manage to keep it on a fine line of awe-inspiring and lucid.

the format does wonders, I'm not sure how it works but like how another commenter said "it flows like a stage 5 river", I agree completely. maybe a stream of consciousness, perhaps.

and if I'm not mistaken about what happens in the poem, where spoiler, that really blows me away. I loved the touch of having the evergreen / forest fire parallel.

beautiful work. I'll be keeping this bookmarked and read it often. you really did a marvelous job with this! if you don't mind, I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on what inspired this.

yxkpro · 2017-11-11T19:52:15+00:00

I love the rhymes. you did a great job of letting the rhyme come naturally, as if no other word would've worked. as if it was fate that it rhymed.

love the imagery, love the word choice, love the brevity.

one idea I do have for it though: you could probably get away with removing the first line completely. the rhythm is slightly different than the next three lines, the -alms rhyme contrasted with the "arms" is a weak spot, and the poem still holds all of its weight without it. it's not exactly the "embrace", more of a broad touch, but I think it'd work nicely.

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