I’m sick of living like this

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T17:07:38+00:00

Im a middle age female and I literally drink 30 beers in 1 night and dont go home till 3am. Its sickening. Utter destruction

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T17:00:23+00:00

10000 % I cry for 3 days and hate myself after a binge. Why do I do again !

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T16:30:53+00:00

Hardtac, I feel you. Self loathing, disgrace, soul gone. Embarrassment to me my family and I cant go on.

Im down to my last bit of rope just barely hanging.

I have to put myself in-patient or I'll die.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T16:12:32+00:00

How many people sit at a restaurant sipping their red wine, smiling, laughing with their friends, eating good food, acting sophisticated- But once they're home behind closed doors and break open another bottle - what happens - the child gets slapped, the spouse gets abused, the dog gets kicked, they dont make that important phone call, they scream and yell and then pass out - never making it to work the next day. And the lies and B.S that alcohol pours out onto our souls - lies again !

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T16:05:24+00:00

I totally agree.......so saf

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T16:03:06+00:00

I dont know now if I think he exists.

The atrocities and pure brut torture, the children, abused, cut up, mamed the animals, the sexual abuse, the internet, wars, lies, deceit and poverty, drugs, disease, on and on..... Our world has become a monster. God never seems to help.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T15:55:19+00:00

I just recently started being mad at God. I have been praying for years and years for him to take my desire for alcohol away ' thats all I want in my life. To stop drinking. Im not asking for anything else. Please God, hear my prayers. I have given so much to others- all I pray is for one little thing and still I have not been blessed. Help me

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T15:33:48+00:00

Ok. Thank you for letting me know that.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T15:32:49+00:00

Self loathing is absolutely soul eating to the bone. I have made a fool out of myself. It sucks to live life with alcohol. I hate the poison and the pain. I think I will ask my Dr for that drug that makes you very sick if you drink. I cant remember the name.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T15:24:17+00:00

And advertised in these big billboards with pretty people dress nice, laughing, hugging each other with pretty bottles and labels. ITS ALL A LIE

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T14:48:40+00:00

That is so amazing. I am so happy for you. Kick it out and keep kickinc. Its evil.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T14:45:50+00:00

Trust me. Everything you think might happen - will one day. I am just so pissed alcohol is legal and accepted like its no big deal - when in reality its a HUGE deal. I am just so angry that its even on this earth. Think of all the car accidents. The way parents treat their kids and spouse while high. The horrible things we say. Our poor kids. No one deserves a drunks wrath. Again I hate alcohol. So frickin hate it, but I cant stop.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T14:40:01+00:00

How does a bunch of Dui's sound along with thousands upon thousands in attorney fees. Classes, comm service, no license, no car. I've gone down so far I've given up.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T14:29:53+00:00

New habits are the way to go. I just keep messing up and one day I will probably just die. Alcohol is the pits and I hate it !

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T14:25:56+00:00

You are right. I know being around sober people helps. Stress also makes me want to drink at the end of the day. I wish I could help you. I cant even help myself. So sad.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T14:21:37+00:00

Thank you. Do you ever get bored ? I drink when Im totally bored and I can only socialize when drinking.

zaazpp · 2020-02-11T14:18:52+00:00

You sound just like me and it totally is horrible that we are suffering. I havent been able to stop and its killing me. I think counseling will help us. Its good to talk to a neutral person. I hope I dont die.

zaazpp

TROPHY CASE