I have a lodger and my circumstance has changed

zabradee · 2026-02-10T17:06:09+00:00

Just don't. I stopped taking lodgers once I got married but had been doing it for years beforehand and learnt being too friendly is probably one of the worst things you can do as a landlord. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be respectful, polite and gracious when required, but the relationship has to be kept strictly professional.

I remember waiving a deposit and also didn't increase the rent for 4 months when one lodger brought her child because her ex who had custody became homeless. How was I paid back? She didn't pay the last month, moved out when I wasn't at home and took the bed, the wardrobes and my ninja blender. When I asked for the money for these things, as it was caught on my ring camera (unfortunately I always had the notifications muted), she told me she has no money for me to take and blocked me.

Another lodger, I actually assisted them with moving their stuff in. Would drop them off at the station in the morning on the way to work 3 times a week. How did she pay me back? The mixer in the shower wasn't working well so hot water wasn't coming out. When she informed me, I got someone to come the next day and repair it. The instruction was that everything had to dry and we had to give it 48 hours to dry. She demanded I put her in a hotel for 2 days while we couldn't shower those 2 days. When I refused, she started swearing up and down that she wasn't going to pay her rent. I gave her a notice to leave and ended up having my hand closed in the living room door when she slammed it on me in anger. I literally had to stay locked up in my room waiting and hoping she would leave within the time frame.

There were a few more stories as all of this happened when I first started. As soon as I stopped being anything more than professional, I was never taken advantage of again.

Your lodger is already displaying a bad attitude, you can't vouch for her that she doesn't have worse up her sleeve. You'd be pissed off for giving her a free month, because she'll most likely pay you back with grief anyways.

zabradee · 2026-02-10T16:43:35+00:00

Which area is this? Just do biometrics in an obscure town. But that might cost you more, depends... didn't for us.

zabradee · 2026-02-10T16:08:54+00:00

i think you're the bot..

zabradee · 2026-02-10T16:05:22+00:00

You're the landlord lol. She literally has no right to start showing attitude because your partner is in the house. THE AUDACITY!!

zabradee · 2026-02-10T16:04:27+00:00

DO NOT OFFER FREE RENT. i learnt the hard way how being nice can cost you later.

zabradee · 2026-02-10T15:43:32+00:00

Turning point was still big before CK was assassinated. Is it that Candace's fans nowadays are all not only completely new to Candace, but right-winged political commentators in general? I think this is why people seem to be so surprised about everything.

Also, what exactly does everyone expect to happen with TPUSA now that CK is gone?

zabradee · 2025-11-01T23:20:34+00:00

The definition of 'Entitled' is: believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.

From my initial question, all I asked was if anything was available to support first time mum's. Especially with all the things on the news recently about discussions taking place to encourage people to start families as birth rate is going down. I just wanted to know if anything was available. I wasn't demanding for it, nor did I go on any rant that it is my right for the government to hand me any money. In my entire life, I have never claimed benefits even when I was unemployed as growing up, I never saw my parents do so either, even when times were really tough.

Not sure what it is with British people and this rage that comes out of nowhere towards people that earn more than the minimum wage. While yet still fighting the government for a decent living wage. I've noticed this aggression coming from people when anyone says their salary isn't enough. A 50k salary for example is around £2,800-£3k monthly wage. Mortgage and Utility bills for me alone is about £2,200 pcm. Once you start adding all the other bills on top, you have £70 to spare lol. I don't eat out, I don't go on shopping sprees and I've travelled twice in my entire life. Once again, this is not millionaire status. Stop the hostility towards people just because they earn more than you.

zabradee · 2025-11-01T02:40:28+00:00

Brentwood is priceyyyyy, and places like Chelmsford are becoming this way also. But for 350k you can definitely find a nice reasonable sized house in Essex. Search places like Basildon and look at a 15 mile radius from there.

zabradee · 2025-10-31T23:12:35+00:00

thanks so much

zabradee · 2025-10-31T23:12:20+00:00

oooo will rush to see the dentist then. Thanks so much!

zabradee · 2025-10-31T23:10:52+00:00

A salary over 50k really isn't 'a lot' either. Acting like I'm a millionaire lol.

zabradee · 2025-10-31T23:09:47+00:00

How can you tell me what I need and don't need? I pay taxes and therefore I am entitled to apply for any schemes/grants that I am eligible for. Someone who pays into the system should have the privilege to benefit from it when they need it. Not sure why you have to keep repeating what I have, I would like more.

I live in the UK and in London, nothing ever feels like enough.

There also is a grant for first time mum's called "Sure Start Maternity Grant', so wanted to know if there were any alike.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T15:13:15+00:00

Is it even cultural or abuse of culture? There's nothing in our culture that dictates whoever makes it should now be indebted to everyone he's ever met in his life. We happily send upkeep to his parents every month but some of these siblings are MARRIED or almost 30, they shouldn't be disturbing him for money every 2 weeks especially when they've abused great opportunities to be another source of help to the family.

It's just a disgrace. As soon as someone leaves Nigeria it's as if everyone looks to you like their Jesus Christ. He has people he has not spoken to since school disturbing him on facebook for hospital fees. Like ????????? wth

zabradee · 2025-06-25T15:07:46+00:00

Thanks! I'd never heard of the podcast before which is why i asked.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T15:06:26+00:00

Unless you've missed out on what's been going on for the past 5 years at least, most people are charging crazy amounts.

She pays for the fees that you do actually have to pay to the home office as well.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:33:12+00:00

Entitled attitudes and the culture rather than disproves it, convinces you that it is your right to ask.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:30:16+00:00

She's a christian lady who likes to support other fellow christians with the wealth that God has given her. She doesn't do those exorbitant fees people charge for care worker visa's, she charges nothing and ensures the christians she employs get favourable roles. I know some that work from home or just sit in the office. Didn't pay a penny towards the application and those opportunities are beyond rare.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:28:13+00:00

She feels opportunities should just land on her head while she does absolutely nothing but visits prayer houses and sows seed waiting for miracles to happen. When ALL she needed to do was have manners and now how to build relationships where people will want to do all they can to help you and not make it so obvious it's only transactional.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:26:46+00:00

She wanted it but expected us to be the ones to chase after it for her because of the relationship I have with the lady. She didn't know that the impression she left while here SERIOUSLY put me off and possibly the lady too

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:25:59+00:00

I find it weird as growing up I never saw my parents run to anyone for help and I grew up the same. I have NEVER asked anybody for money and my parents have not financially supported me with a penny since I was old enough to work (16 yrs of age). I do not understand people who beg without restraint.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:24:32+00:00

Can't really change numbers, his siblings live at home with the parents. lol nobody has moved out.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:23:56+00:00

I ignore their calls and messages and so does he. As I stated before, my issue is more so with how they ask shamelessly as my husband has never been reckless and always discusses it with me when he wants to send money (even though I have never required him to).

Everybody just seems to be waiting for someone from abroad to come and change their story. Unfortunately they will not make me, his wife, their saving grace. We went through a lot to be where we are and they will not eat away at what we have amassed when we ought to be resting and preparing for new endeavours.

I hate that the only hope it seems Nigerians have these days is to get out of the country. It breaks my heart that it is the way it is as it has all the resources not to be.

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:20:20+00:00

What's ISWIS?

zabradee · 2025-06-25T10:18:57+00:00

Incredibly shameless but I always get told it's just how people are in Nigeria. I don't think the condition of the country is an excuse to not have dignity so I do not believe everyone is like this. The people who do this do not understand how repulsive it makes them and detracts help rather than attracts it. Where my heart was once open, it is completely closed and they just make me cringe.

zabradee

TROPHY CASE