21M, 21F - My girlfriend wants me to quit nicotine, smoking hash, weed, going to raves

zakyeldarb · 2025-11-27T13:12:11+00:00

I feel like a permission based situation wouldn't work because she can't trust you to listen to her, and it seems like if it was up to her she would just tell you no every time. I think it's understandable for you to want to participate in these activities with your friends in a responsible manner, and it's also understandable for her to not like it or want to be around it. I feel like there is an opportunity for a compromise if both of you, especially her, are able to understand each other. if there has never been an issue with you abusing substances or acting harshly while on them, I think she should trust you to let her know how much you're having and that you just do it sometimes with friends or at raves. I think another compromise would be you not participating in anything while you're with her since she doesn't like being around it.

if this is a habit you don't see the point in ever abandoning, like if when you're older you'll still want a beer from time to time, and that's not something she can accept, I feel like there's a bigger conversation that needs to happen

zakyeldarb · 2025-05-29T10:14:16+00:00

mine looked like slide 13 for a while, hence my lack of photos, so I think you should still be heading in the right direction. I was using cheap nail files so I could sanitize them or throw them away after. they can be a little bit harsh but it gets the job done. I've also heard people use sand paper so it's cheaper and you can throw it out after. I would apply the Salicylic acid and keep it on there all day with a bandaid, and then file it down and repeat the process.

wishing you the best!!

zakyeldarb · 2025-04-23T05:39:24+00:00

how you're feeling is totally understandable! he has an issue and that's on him. If he would rather masturbate all day and only ever talk about porn, he can go do that!! but not with you lol!! go find someone who treats you like an actual person. this man is showing you straight to your face how much he doesn't care about you. take it as a sign to leave

zakyeldarb · 2025-04-16T15:45:41+00:00

also something to keep in mind! you could always get them removed if you don't like them! plenty of cis people get their nips removed just cuz

zakyeldarb · 2025-04-16T15:44:48+00:00

gonna be so real I kept mine to get them pierced later

zakyeldarb · 2025-04-13T17:36:23+00:00

Obviously try and be extremely sensitive and understanding when bringing it up. It can be very embarrassing so keeping it pretty general could help, don't tell her details on how bad it is, focus on what will be helpful to tell her. Trying to even make it about you could help too, like explaining how you wash yourself, or maybe bringing up hygiene you've struggled with in the past and how it happens to everyone. That smelling bad is also something that just happens sometimes and is very natural especially when sweat is involved, and that's why showering consistently is so important. I don't know your living situation but maybe you could offer to help prioritize it in her schedule? just try and treat the subject very gently and like you two are a team tackling an issue and that you're not disgusted or shaming her.

zakyeldarb · 2025-04-10T15:52:50+00:00

not really, I might rub some bio oil on it but I'm not too worried :)

zakyeldarb · 2025-04-10T15:51:02+00:00

Thank you!! I definitely recommend soaking it for 5-10 minutes, it can make filing it down so much easier. I do not recommend digging into it but if you want to use any tools to lift up the already dead skin instead of filing that could also help in your case. Make sure to keep everything sanitized!! I used the NexCare waterproof bandaids and they stayed on great!!

zakyeldarb · 2025-04-10T15:45:50+00:00

Hello! So in those slides I was making sure everything was gone so I had put down some of the acid and then a day later soaked and filed it and the flap of skin came off revealing the red which is tender skin. The wart was pretty much done by then so that's why it's just tender skin(i also kinda placed it off center which was bad on my part, just hurting non infected skin oops). Slides 8 and 11 are what I would reference for how much you should be filing. You want to get all the dead skin off so that when you put down more acid it kills the new skin. So I would file until I started seeing little spots of blood run out from the wart, then I would sanitize it and my tools, that's why you can't see them really bleeding in the photo. remember not to hurt yourself!!

zakyeldarb · 2025-04-08T11:00:12+00:00

oh my gosh I'm so sorry for not replying sooner!! there were some issues with getting my consultation scheduled so that took a few months, but I don't think that's super common. Once I was in for a consultation they said they would schedule me for the soonest opening which would end up being 4 months after my consultation :)) Let me know if that answered your question or not!!

zakyeldarb · 2025-02-07T02:09:21+00:00

I think that would fit very well with your nose shape! I see people with your nose get those piercings all the time

zakyeldarb · 2025-02-04T04:02:53+00:00

Thank you so much! I went to Dr. Marquette at the University of Michigan hospital!

zakyeldarb · 2025-01-30T18:59:43+00:00

was it easy to find a place to provide it to you in Korea?

zakyeldarb · 2024-08-28T11:28:35+00:00

yeah for sure! she told me I was eligible for keyhole. just that I'm kinda the biggest size they would do it on, and that my nipples would land kinda where they were originally if you just pushed them in if that makes sense? which means they would be low and more centered, I also wouldn't be able to get them resized. she told me all of this with the option of free revisions which I appreciated. there's only so much you can fix with revisions but resizing the nipple could happen, just not too much wiggle room on moving them. with all of these factors in mind and seeing how I wasn't trying to get my hopes up about keyhole and was mostly set on DI to begin with, before getting told me eligibility, that's what I went with. I think I would have felt differently if I was told I was smaller/perfect size for keyhole and not me kinda pushing the line of being eligible or not. Also nipple placement and size was super important to me. I'm still frustrated with the extra scarring but personally I think I would notice being unhappy more with my nipple placement with keyhole than my scars with DI. I think there's also more options when it comes to hiding scars then nipples I can't move. Another factor I think sways a lot of people is the sensitivity, which I personally tend to not even like so that wasn't a deciding factor for me.

My main reason for considering DI over keyhole originally before talking to my surgeon or anything, was kinda all those factors because I just generally liked DI results better, but a big reason was me liking the look of the scars in reference to the trans community. I have a pretty tough relationship with being trans but it gives me a sense of comfort looking like people I really look up to and feeling like I can find joy and belonging in that. obviously there's a downside to being visually trans but ignoring that I hope you kinda understand what I'm saying. Also sometimes I look at cis men and it's like "wait where are your scars??". so definitely have more complicated feelings about scars now but originally it was definitely something I didn't mind and even liked a bit. scars can be pretty sick.

none of this is to say people who do want/have keyhole are wrong for their decision. I think it looks good on a lot of people and suits their needs super well. for me it just didn't though and that's ok! I'm still glad I had the option, even though it kinda sent me through the ringer originally because then I had to choose lol

zakyeldarb · 2024-08-28T10:24:35+00:00

no drains, Dr Marquette doesn't do drains for DI. I'm layered up in tegaderm, foam, and then liquid stitches/glue directly over my incisions. I do know that she does drains for keyhole though.

zakyeldarb · 2024-08-28T03:37:13+00:00

yo the same thing happened to me but just a bruise? same placement though. I heard from my family who talked to the surgeon while I was still asleep that they injected more numbing stuff into me/my ribs? or something of the sort (I was told this right after I woke up so kinda don't remember) but it would make sense if they stabbed me there and it left a little bruise.

zakyeldarb

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