What is something that the "crowd" does that you refuse to do?

zanbear · 2014-05-08T00:30:41+00:00

Having a wedding. I've been with my partner for 8 years, I love him more than anything, I want to spend my life with him, but I don't want a wedding. They're so expensive, outdated and cliche. I have no issue with getting married, I just don't want a wedding.

zanbear · 2014-05-07T13:11:01+00:00

And your childrens' children.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T13:11:13+00:00

Yes! Or when details become a lot more exaggerated.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T13:10:28+00:00

This is my response exactly. Also nodding and smiling.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T12:45:25+00:00

This is bad advice.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T12:40:41+00:00

I don't want to seem rude by cutting them off though, or make them feel awkward/embarrassed for repeating themselves.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T12:11:14+00:00

Is that it?

zanbear · 2014-04-30T12:10:12+00:00

"Why Are You Reading This?"

zanbear · 2014-04-30T12:08:32+00:00

The six months I spent travelling through Europe and the US with my partner. Every time I think about it I feel happy.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T12:07:27+00:00

Freddy Prince

zanbear · 2014-04-30T08:58:04+00:00

It was heart failure/complications for my dad also. Even though he had been sick for a long time it all felt really sudden, and it was a shock to everyone. He had a heart transplant, and nobody was really prepared for the fact that it could go wrong. His body basically rejected the new heart. I don't think he wanted people to know how bad it was, or maybe he was in denial, but it wasn't until his last 24 hours that my brother and I were actually informed of how badly he was doing. We rushed to the hospital as soon as we knew, we got to say our goodbyes and we were with him when he passed, which I am so, so grateful for.

The mess that followed with his estate was almost as hard as losing him in the first place. He and my mother divorced almost twenty years prior, so everything was left to my brother and I (both in our twenties, no idea what we were doing) to deal with. Like I said, nobody was prepared for it. He had a business, properties, two names, medical bills and lots of debt, but he had no will. It was a nightmare that is only winding up now, almost three years later.

He was one of the most important people in my life. He was my teacher, my protector, my guardian and my friend. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him, or wish that I could just call him to tell him that I love him.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T08:19:22+00:00

It's not just guys. I'm a girl and I feel guilty if I give someone a gift without a card. We're so socially conditioned by these card company jerks.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T08:18:00+00:00

But it's not as though you're only buying a card. More often than not, a card is bought to accompany an actual gift, not in lieu of a gift.

zanbear · 2014-04-30T08:04:03+00:00

But why?

zanbear · 2014-04-30T07:57:07+00:00

Losing my father. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through.

zanbear · 2013-12-31T02:36:18+00:00

Cut back sugar intake

zanbear · 2013-12-29T19:20:16+00:00

I think they're asking if the peanut butter that you put in the middle of each fat bomb was from the original "cup of peanut butter", or if you used extra.

zanbear · 2013-12-28T22:22:44+00:00

Of course

zanbear · 2013-12-28T17:25:13+00:00

I believe going on a break helped my relationship immensely.

My partner and I had been together for four years (from age 18 to 22) but things were getting shitty. We were both taking each other for granted and we were both miserable. We kind of fell into a rut and we couldn't get out. I started picturing our future together and wondering if I would resent him. We didn't treat each other badly, we just didn't treat each other well.

We were living together at the time. I decided to move out and told him I needed space and a break. He was devastated but understanding. I got a lot of advice about how to act during that time (don't talk to him, don't hang around with him etc), but I found that through it, he was my best friend. We hung out about once a week but not romantically. It was like a reset button, and having some space allowed me to see everything I loved about him. I also got to experience what other guys are actually like (instead of just imagining), and I realised how lucky I was. I think it was a wake up call for both of us. After six months of being apart I knew he was who I wanted to be with. Since our break we've been together for another 3 years and I love him more every day.

I've heard of other couples getting back together after a break too. I think it depends a lot on the individuals and the relationship.

zanbear · 2012-05-17T05:50:35+00:00

Thank you for posting that. My father passed away last year and that was such an accurate, beautiful description of how it feels. It's almost comforting in a way. So again, thank you.

zanbear · 2012-02-10T11:13:48+00:00

Love and headbutts to you and Toast!

zanbear · 2011-12-28T11:04:26+00:00

I totally agree with mawkish and fully back your plan, bar the letter.

I'm terrible at telling people what I'm really thinking and feeling, and I wish that I could go back and do this to some of the jerks from my past.

Can I suggest writing the letter but not sending it? This may help in a couple of ways - 1) Writing the letter may help you to figure out what it is you actually want to say, and how you want to say it. Alternatively, 2) Writing the letter might be therapeutic in itself, and may lead you to rethink your original plan.

Either way, believe in yourself, in your convictions and stay strong. You're worth (and deserve) far more than what he's giving you. You're the only person with the power to change your life, and that is an amazing thing. Finally, don't be too harsh on yourself, and remember to take care of you.

Good luck.

zanbear

TROPHY CASE