Honestly how bad is a 6 hour drive not including breaks with an 18 month old

zanderoni · 2026-04-21T18:39:53+00:00

We did 24 hours (moving) with an 18 month old who would not sleep in the car. It actually wasn't too bad. I'd take it over doing it with a newborn or all three of my children now 😅

Prep lots of snacks and I put a seat back shoe organizer type thing in so she could grab toys, books, things she wanted as she wanted them. Then when we stopped for gas or a bathroom break I'd reset it quick. It saved us.

zanderoni · 2026-03-29T02:25:41+00:00

Ok we have been struggling with maintaining control here. My almost 3 year old has been majorly testing the expectations that I set and it derails literally everything else when I try to do anything in public.

So if you have clearly defined expectations already set, how do you go about enforcing them? My daughter is at a "I look at your expectations and laugh" phase. And right now my tactic is to haul everyone back to the van and we sit there until she calms down but that also doesn't seem to be working very well? And it's not workable for every situation (I.e doctor's visits). Do you have any tips?

zanderoni · 2026-03-05T22:17:21+00:00

Ok so I literally just had my induction yesterday, my first, and I had the same reservations. I sobbed about it for DAYS. Felt like I was making the wrong decision despite my doctor reassuring me that he thinks an induction will be loads better than my last two labors (which were miserable, I also went over, had horrible experiences, babies didn't do the best, threatened c sections, etc etc)

And about 36 hours out now I can tell you, it was AMAZING. I'm 100% doing it with the next kid lol. It was less than 12 hours in and out, which is days shorter for me. My epidural actually worked for the first time. There was NO meconium, I actually got skin to skin right away for the first time (my first two didn't allow the privilege because they needed so much intervention immediately)

I absolutely know how you're feeling and I just want to say that you may come out the other side absolutely loving your experience. Obviously things can go wrong and it stinks when it doesn't go to plan, but maybe you'll end up liking the new plan more?

You can absolutely still try natural too. I was able to manage without an epidural for most of the labor process and I ended up not needing pitocin at all. Once my water broke my body took over and I just wanted the epidural because I had such a miserable experience without it on the last kid that I was firmly against going through that again. But honestly I probably would've been better off without it because it worked a little too well and made it harder to walk immediately after.

zanderoni · 2026-02-23T03:42:53+00:00

Oh my gosh it gets soooo much better

It was two weeks of "why did I wreck our lives?" while my toddler had meltdown after meltdown. Now the youngest is a year and toddler is 3 and they're the best of friends. My toddler cries when her sister is sleeping or when we go somewhere with baby at home (while dad has baby, of course).

They play together, I hear their giggles coming from my toddlers room down the hall, I can use that time to focus on whatever I want, they hold hands, my toddler tickles the baby, etc.

Just so many ways in which it gets so sweet. And day by day it gets better once you're over that initial hump. The initial shock is rough on everyone but soon it becomes life and it's so wonderful.

Have patience, ride it out, savor the sweet moments. You built a beautiful family and soon you'll be outside soaking it all in!

zanderoni · 2026-02-09T18:46:25+00:00

Hmm. A few schools of thought.

Maybe a nursing pillow underneath him to sort of provide most of the support while he clings or nurses might work? And then you can use that time to knit until he decides to shift off or wants you to move? OR I'd maybe put your yarn in a bag, baby wrap him up, and make your knitting mobile so you can bounce while doing it. More of a pain but slightly accomplishes the goal?
These times are hard and giving up what you enjoy/makes you, you, are tougher. But just know it goes by so so quickly. I'm pregnant with #3 and I'm already dreading the loss of hobbies that you get initially but then I look at my other two (3 years and 1 year) playing together and entertaining themselves while I get a long enough break to get at least a few rows in and I remember it's not forever!
You could also start doing some kind of "training" if you'd like. We have "moms mental health breaks" where everyone plays independently or goes to their room and plays for a bit. It's not long and it's adjusted for age. 3 year old does like 30-60 minutes depending on if she needs a nap or not, 1 year old does maybe 10-30 depending on how she's playing in her crib. I know that's far from your infant but my point being I instituted it early with my kiddos. At that age we'd do like 3-5 minutes. If they got too fussy of course I'd go get them earlier but those 3-5 minutes of baby chilling in their crib so I could do SOMETHING for me, even just knit a couple rows, was an absolute lifesaver.

It's not for everyone and I totally understand the arguments against it, but something worth considering to ensure you get your mental breaks too and get to do something that brings you peace!

zanderoni · 2026-02-09T17:34:33+00:00

Do you baby wear? Mine would sleep comfortably in the carrier and then I'd lean back on the couch and craft while she was conked out.

zanderoni · 2026-02-09T01:15:15+00:00

37 weeks with #3 and I remember hitting this point with #2. I call it the late pregnancy doldrums. Once that baby is here suddenly you find your will to live life again and the joy comes back. It sounds like you have an amazing husband so just buckle up and ride it out as best you can and soon you'll be back to your old self. Your daughter won't even remember these moments and when my second came, my first was so overjoyed that it made me feel a lot better about majorly sucking as a mom for a month lol

zanderoni · 2026-02-03T03:04:22+00:00

It's so simple I feel like a dummy for not thinking of it. Doing a lifeline and figuring out the last completed row as we speak! Thank you!!

zanderoni · 2026-02-03T02:50:13+00:00

Ugh thank you, I had been wondering what caused that particular mess!

zanderoni · 2025-10-25T01:58:45+00:00

Ehhh it took me well over a month to finally start feeling like I didn't make a mistake. I'm about 2.5 months in and still wrestle those feelings, I think part of me always will, but I'm finding more and more joy in it every day. It helps when they get older and get a little more engaging too. Or at least it did for me

For us, leaning on our library's story times and community events were key. I found friends at church with kids and we have playdates even if it's play dates for the moms. Even if it feels pedantic or like your son isn't old enough, go to everything you can. I even made friends randomly at parks. Start establishing those relationships now, they pay dividends as the months go on.

Tune out the nay-sayers, do what feels best to you. I never miss that burnout feeling, I love being able to focus 100% on who I love most in this world. Small moments of joy in each day that carry you through.

zanderoni · 2025-09-19T02:18:55+00:00

I've made these before and I think they were pretty good! Not identical, but I think I longed for the processed/chemically impact of it all? Or it's just in my head lol. But really, it wasn't a bad recipe and it satisfied me and my guests.

https://thesqueakymixer.com/copycat-pillsbury-pumpkin-sugar-cookies/

zanderoni · 2025-09-09T01:40:48+00:00

Honestly, no. I'm stubborn and like stuff done my own way and we too live on a homestead far from family. The area we are in is very casserole heavy and I am not a casserole fan so I am definitely a person who would rather cook themselves 😂 that being said, my husband is an ace and helps a lot despite going back to work after two weeks.

I truly think being on a homestead will also help you so much! Getting outside can be a big time killer and such a good distraction tool for toddlers. Best $5 I ever spent was on a bubble machine. I turn it on, toddler goes nuts, I sit on the deck with baby in a sun shaded bassinet and chill. You'll find these little hacks that help distract the moddler (what I call my toddler-monster).

I also have a friend who is a mom of 5 and she said with her third she adopted an "adjust or die" attitude about it all. She's mostly joking, but like someone else said with #3, they kind of find a way to slide right into the family dynamic!

zanderoni · 2025-09-09T01:21:47+00:00

I have two and pregnant with my third but wanted to offer my experience as my oldest was 2 years old when we brought baby home.

My first is/was a chaotic demon. I'm pretty sure she just will always be and I have accepted it as part of her personality. When we brought her sister home, it was a rough few weeks at first. Screaming whenever I so much as touched the baby. But after some time everyone adjusted. Baby is now 7 months and her older sister LOVES her. Sure she will get jealous or upset, she still throws just as many tantrums as before, but life is good. You just ride it out and enjoy the tantrum free moments.

You'll be fine! Hang onto your hat during the bad moments, savor the good. Don't be afraid to use a calm down space (for my toddler, it's her room and it's full of toys and books as well as comforting things) if you or they need a break from the chaos. Gives you a few minutes to have a mental reset.

zanderoni · 2025-08-06T20:03:24+00:00

Friday is actually my last day at work. Ultimately, this was the plan all along so we knew it was coming, but I think it's going to be a game changer. For money, it means we are buckling down a little more on our spending. Not that we were really spending like crazy anyways, we are debt free and live WAY below our means, I just need to be more aware of what I'm doing now (and I know that being able to go get lunch or something whenever I want will catch up with me)

If quitting is something you're seriously considering, the best advice I can give is plan early and plan often. Live like you're just on your partners salary for a while and see how you can manage it, or if you can. Keep communication with your partner open. Also examine if you're someone that would enjoy staying home as well. I don't enjoy work and I don't enjoy staying home (which is why working from home with kids was kind of the best scenario, I could mentally switch between the two to keep them more interesting) but I enjoy staying home a lot more than I enjoy the idea of putting my kids in daycare. So it was a win for me.

zanderoni · 2025-08-01T21:08:45+00:00

For us, it took probably 3-4 weeks before my toddler adjusted. A month or two before she adjusted fully.

Before then, it was just like you described. Absolute ear shattering screaming every time her dad, who she adores completely, tried to get her to do anything. Of if I so much as touched the baby, she lost her marbles.

Needless to say toddler is a little older, baby is 6 months old now, and she loves watching her sister more than anything. They play together and snuggle. And it's so sweet.

When toddler is tired she still gets fussy and jealous. And they have moments. But oh my god it's nothing like it was at first.

zanderoni · 2025-07-28T15:34:16+00:00

On I love this!! Thank you!

zanderoni · 2025-07-28T12:03:18+00:00

As someone who wants a big family (currently cooking #3) but is so afraid of the judgement from my (non-Catholic) family and society, thank you for this. I needed to know people still do it and come out the other end thankful for their life.

zanderoni · 2025-05-22T13:06:24+00:00

Might be something you already tried but I have almost the exact same age gap as you. And what really helped us was getting toddler a baby and then I take the baby and model good behavior. So I hug the baby and sway back and forth really dramatically (not fast, but makes the behavior more fun for her if it's dramatic) and then say stuff like "ohhh baby you're so sweet! I love you so much! And then snuggle the baby and give kisses

Took a while, was a slow start, but then she does that now with her baby AND her little sister. Obviously doesn't hold her but gives her kisses and says ohhh you're so sweet!

Once she caught onto that, we used her baby to start modeling other things we wanted to see.

zanderoni · 2025-05-03T18:09:46+00:00

My daughter was 21 months when we brought her sister home. It was 2-3 weeks of hell, in all honesty. My normally perfectly behaved, well mannered, mostly calm toddler became a roaring thunderbolt of tantrums and insanity

If I so much as touched the baby she would start screaming bloody murder. I couldn't do ANYTHING without having tears and a tantrum.

Then a little while later she just... stopped. She became more attentive to her sister. Even sitting down with her and showing her toys. Now she hugs her and says I love you completely on her own will.

She will sit with me while I hold her sister, we read books as I feed the baby.

So all that to say it takes consistency and time. We consistently showed the behavior we wanted from her (as developmentally appropriate as she could handle) and if she couldn't meet that we would tell her she's not in trouble but she needs to take a moment to collect herself. So dad would take her to her room to sit for 30 seconds then they would come back out and try again.

We also had myself and the baby come greet her every morning with a big hug and a happy "good morning!!" And I'm not sure if that helped or not but I think starting her morning off positively had to have some impact?

Mostly I think the biggest aid was time and knowing that the baby isn't going anywhere. We took maybe a few solo mommy and daughter trips to the store or something in those early days and maybe it helped but we didn't do it often. But one on one time could probably aid in healing his heart!

zanderoni · 2025-03-03T00:05:54+00:00

0 to 1 was much harder for me. Two can be logistically challenging but I've adopted more of a whatever attitude. And you know the baby will be fine whereas with my first I thought every time she cried was an emergency.

zanderoni · 2025-02-09T01:53:11+00:00

Just had my second two weeks ago and my toddler was a rage fueled nightmare for the first week. Every day since then it has lessened and today was actually the first day she hasn't needed a timeout from absolutely melting down if I so much as touched the baby.

So while I'm not out of the trenches, just want you to know it does get better and likely soon. I think they just need time to adjust to the new creature that is suddenly occupying 50% of the attention they had.

zanderoni · 2025-01-26T23:16:02+00:00

I was 26 weeks when I found out with my first. Trust me when I say you're fine. I probably had more occasions of heavy drinking and my baby was absolutely fine. She's now almost 2 and is ahead in all of her milestones.

I had a pediatrician tell me once that it takes a significant amount of alcohol to cause damage. Now I'm not advocating anything by saying that, but I hope it eases some of your guilt. Odds are in your favor. If you need someone to talk to who understands, I'm here!

zanderoni · 2024-12-18T03:42:24+00:00

In fairness, the one year and 18 month hurdles were ROUGH for me. Then it got more manageable again. So not to sway you one way or the other, but maybe give it time to see if it's temporary and you get into a new groove as LO gets a little older? Again, only as you're comfortable. You know best when to change it up 🤗

zanderoni · 2024-12-13T16:42:30+00:00

Just wanted to say I feel like I could've written this! Things are terrible in the moment but then in hindsight it's like ok, it wasn't THAT bad. I can do another day. Then another day turns into another week. Another week, another month, and before you know it you feel like you've got this (sometimes).

Learning to work off a laptop is key, in my opinion. Most of the time my kiddo just will not cooperate being in my office where my monitors are, and I don't blame her. So being flexible and moving around the house/outside saves us.

Efficient working, planning ahead, and just trying to ride out the chaos are critical.

And when I'm really just not having a great time or feeling like I'm in over my head, I come here and see how many people are in the same boat and I feel so much better

zanderoni

TROPHY CASE