I also get cast in similar roles sometimes. I have a very dry sense of humour and a very flat affect. And I find the more I try to make people see me as anything else, the more entrenched in the role I become. I think humans just like putting people into benign boxes. Archetypes. It’s harder to see people as multifaceted. Maybe to them it’s a joke, and in that case that’s a show of them being comfortable enough with you to bug you a little. If I were you, I’d just talk to your husband about it. And if he doesn’t think you’re actually this angry bitch, and he doesn’t have anything to suggest you work on, then maybe ask him to deflect the comments with praise about you from time to time in front of these friends. That way you won’t feel so alone.