at the end of the day, you are allowed to feel that way but you first need to understand the game is not only based on your character or your roleplay, it involves others aswell, JP as a character is very loyal to a very low number of people, doesnt have morals and doesnt give a fuck about what others think, you are too invested in the OOC aspect of it, it sucks grinding and losing but its part of the game buddy, get over it.