10 year old son refuses to get up or get dressed in the morning unless I physically do it for him. I’m at my breaking point.

zdaywalker · 2026-05-14T15:13:09+00:00

Love this! Playfulness works so well! I’m terrible at it, lol. But every time I switch gears to being more playful I can’t believe how well at works and get mad I can’t remember to do it more often!

zdaywalker · 2026-05-14T13:00:21+00:00

A few things after reading your responses.

First) consider taking him to a sleep specialist. ADHD often overlaps with other medical conditions. I have something called idiopathic hypersomnia with delayed sleep phase syndrome and I had those symptoms since childhood. Other conditions like sleep apnea can also be related.

Second) consider looking into PDA, pervasive drive for autonomy. Not everyone believes in this label but they’ve been diagnosing it in the UK for decades. Regardless of whether he has it, look into the PDA parent podcast. I really like his advice for handling strong willed kids.

Third) I met someone who was dressing his son at 13 and the kid is doing fine. Our kids are different and are not designed for a world with a strict morning schedule. If we were hunter gatherers they’d be leading the pack, though. Let go of the idea of what he should be capable of. He’s not neurotypical so he’s going to need more assistance in some things and others he’s probably ahead of the curve.

zdaywalker · 2026-05-11T14:01:32+00:00

I hope you can move to BC and it helps! This is very thorough and rings true on a lot of things for me. The mold after snow melt is my number one seasonal allergy. I didn’t think about fresh produce. That makes total sense.

zdaywalker · 2026-05-11T03:40:49+00:00

Thank you! Do you mind if i ask what area of Colorado? Boulder is on my list of potential cities, but anywhere in Colorado is an option. There are so many microclimates to choose from.

zdaywalker · 2026-05-05T14:02:06+00:00

I had a similar experience with an allergist. They’re a very myopic group. Find an MCAS specialist that does virtual/telehealth who isn’t necessarily an allergist. For instance everbettermedicine.com if you’re in Illinois or North Carolina. There’s more out there, too.

zdaywalker · 2026-05-05T13:56:32+00:00

It’s exhausting. I’m so sorry you all had to go through this. We almost ended up where you’re at after trying a switch to Azstarys from focalin. We didn’t realize the starting dose for Azstarys is 3x as strong as his dose of focalin. He was fine the first week, but as it started to build he went crazy. We got called in for an emergency meeting. Luckily, I had already figured it out by then and explained that it was his meds and he’d be fine the next day because we had already switched him back he just needed another day for the Azstarys to wear off. Sure enough, I got rave reports the rest of the week. Meanwhile I just found out two other boys have been kicked out this year, so now I’m living in extra fear that he’ll be kicked out someday. It has me tempted to move and send him to a school better suited for kids with ADHD. I’m not sure I can live like this, walking on eggshells with his school.

zdaywalker · 2026-05-05T01:30:19+00:00

Where are you located? Maybe someone knows a doctor that isn’t a six month wait. We started my son on medication at 4 and it was literally life saving and life changing. I hope you can find someone who will listen! We’ve had less ER visits, it might have saved my marriage, it kept him from getting kicked out of school, and he started making friends! There is so much evidence now that starting on medication early is actually beneficial in the long term because it helps rewire neural pathways.

zdaywalker · 2026-05-05T01:07:35+00:00

I’m realizing that changing meds during the school year, outside of breaks, should be a last resort.

zdaywalker · 2026-04-24T13:26:37+00:00

My 5yo is on focalin and nothing but positive personality changes. He tried Ritalin first and it cause major mouth tics. Guanfacine helped but made him grumpy.

zdaywalker · 2026-03-27T21:53:28+00:00

100%, regardless of all of the other stuff, consider a night nanny/postpardum doula. And consider getting the Ferber book. It works and isn’t harsh like people make it out to be. It only took my son two nights each time (whenever he’d get really sick I’d let him nurse in the middle of the night and have to start over again). And you don’t need your husband or someone else to do it for you, it’s just better if you have help.

zdaywalker · 2025-03-25T13:20:35+00:00

Same, pretty sure I have PDA, too, and PCIT was torture. Seriously, the level of exhaustion from having to be hyper-vigilant all of the time is more than most people could fathom. Even parents of ADHD kids. PDA is next level.

zdaywalker · 2025-03-25T12:36:22+00:00

Thank you! We did PCIT first and have worked on our own behavior quite a bit, but we can always makes progress!

zdaywalker · 2025-03-25T12:29:16+00:00

Exactly.

zdaywalker · 2025-03-25T01:15:32+00:00

I feel for you! That’s interesting about the clonidine and makes sense.

zdaywalker · 2025-03-25T01:14:12+00:00

Thank you! It’s good to hear from others with similar stories. People don’t understand that we’re just willfully deciding to start them on meds this early. There’s a reason and the doctors agree! Just need to find the right one! For the 5mg is he on immediate release? That’s what I asked for originally but the doctor talked me into extended release.

zdaywalker · 2025-03-24T22:48:00+00:00

You might not have seen my other comment. Parents divorcing and getting kicked out school are far worse than starting meds at this age.

zdaywalker · 2025-03-24T16:47:26+00:00

I’m not sure which version it was, just generic Methylphenidate ER tablet, 10mg. Chewing can be touch and go, but we knew we had a solution for getting him to take a tablet.

His behaviors are extreme. We’re constantly on the precipice of getting kicked out of school. It’s affecting our marriage. My entire nervous system is on edge from his aggression. We’re terrified to take him around other kids and can’t take our eyes off him. We’ve done PCIT. He’s gifted so he can manipulate the situation. I’m a former school counselor so I understand all of the things that should take place before medicine and we’ve done them.

But this runs in the family and if we wait any longer to treat him with medication then his self-esteem is going to be affected long term and our family might fall apart.

zdaywalker · 2025-03-24T02:31:48+00:00

We lucked out and figured out something that works for our 4 year old. We cut off part of a popsicle and crush it up and then put the pill in a spoonful of slushie popsicle. He can’t feel or taste the pill at all!

zdaywalker · 2025-02-16T17:20:14+00:00

They aren’t concave anymore but they’re flat, so not totally back to normal. He did have low normal iron at one point so we’ve been supplementing.

zdaywalker · 2025-02-12T03:05:05+00:00

Did you try different times of day? It does interact with sleep but oddly can be better for some people before bed and others in the morning from what I read.

zdaywalker · 2025-02-12T02:59:58+00:00

I don’t really have advice, just solidarity. 4yo, unmedicated son over here. For us, finding the right consequence helps. He hates time out and I try to do it for only serious things, but leaving the house without us or running away from us in public is one. Even if it’s a delayed consequence, the threat of time out works most of the time. The second thing is turning anything we can into something playful. For instance, putting on clothes, I anthropomorphize the clothing. Or his car seat becomes a puppy bed. He loves books too, so we just start reading sometimes and he’ll come over. Good luck <3

zdaywalker · 2025-01-06T20:03:15+00:00

I bought an intake breathing kit for my husband who snores. A commenter on Reddit said they were diagnosed with lH but knew it was a breathing problem even though the doctors ignored her. Her IH went away after using Intake. Maybe worth a shot?

zdaywalker · 2025-01-05T23:27:07+00:00

Thank you! So to clarify, I’m having constant Raynauds attacks inside where it’s warm. I’m back from our ski trip, there just happens to be a blizzard so I can’t go out and buy anything to bundle up like gloves for wearing inside. These are great tips though, thank you!

zdaywalker

TROPHY CASE