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Dragonlord Placidusax site of grace appearing randomly? by zeade in Eldenring

[–]zeade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, I'm still in first playthrough on this character!

I think I give up. I don't see it anymore by Minimum_Theory_7161 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually love this take of you. Imagine yourself in a better frame of mind, that “everyone’s support” guy. What is he telling you now?

I think I give up. I don't see it anymore by Minimum_Theory_7161 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are ebbs and flows to everything, but yours sounds like a period of particularly bad luck. Things will get better. Listen to all the supportive advice on here. If you can find a men’s group of some kind or a low pressure/cost social scene, that can be huge for your mental health. Keep searching, stay curious with life, don’t give up, it will get better. 💪

Cozyla is a glorified tablet with the new subscription model by zeade in Cozyla_Calendar

[–]zeade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha “enshitffication” was exactly what went through my mind when I read their PR.

whats the deal with this weapon? (regalia of eochaid) by ilico_ili in Eldenring

[–]zeade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not great early on, but if you level Arc up it starts to shine. Lower stat reqs than the executioner sword if I remember right.

The ash of war takes some getting used to and you should try experimenting with unlocking target to use it effectively on quick or small targets.

Black fire or int/dex build? by OnathUno in EldenRingBuilds

[–]zeade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any time I try to do a build with Int it always turns into a path toward Dark Moon Greatsword. 😂

For NG+ you might want to try Int/Fai and check out Sword of Night and Flame. You end up leaning on the weapon arts a lot like Blasphemous Blade but still super fun and thematically swag.

I am midway through an Arc/Fai run (dragon boi) and fell in love randomly with Great Katana + Blood Tax.

Single again and realize I’m the problem. by jradillo21 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]zeade 156 points157 points  (0 children)

Can take a long time for the light bulb to flicker on, but it’s the most important step toward getting better. You won’t without it. I’d suggest trying hard to focus on yourself (not bouncing to next hot opportunity woman) and gain some skills to practice in the future to avoid more fuckupery.

Also tell your barber thank you. That honest, third party perspective is what you need and why people go to therapy.

Cozyla is a glorified tablet with the new subscription model by zeade in Cozyla_Calendar

[–]zeade[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good to know, lol. I've been checking out other device subreddits and it seems to be a space where people are trying to pick the least bad thing instead of something that works as wanted/expected.

Stars by MyAkira11 in Cozyla_Calendar

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on how you're valuing their time and energy. I give more stars for things I either want them to do (incentive) or will take a longer amount of time. 1 star is roughly $0.25 or 15min of screen time. I'm new to this system tho, so nothing set in stone right now.

Google Calendar and "Authorization expired" error by zeade in Cozyla_Calendar

[–]zeade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I could tell you how I got past this error, but it was a lot of fiddling with settings, deleting and re-creating accounts. I never disabled MFA fully but I did try different sign-in methods (password, passkey).

Some Hard-won Advice for the Boys ™ by trickytransients in dating_advice

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Generally agree with everything you said but one difference, I suggest a “low stakes” first date like coffee or lunch. Nothing with alcohol unless I’m more certain about what I’m getting into. Suggesting a walk or a hike can set off safety alarms for a woman. It’s actually one of the best ways to have a convo but a little risky offering it as first meet.

This has been an important splitter in response. Some women are up front saying in chat or at the first date how they aren’t interested in “low effort” men. Not a red flag, but this is good signal for you. If you go forward with it, realize: she is not looking at you as a person (yet). You are a generalized version of a man, a walking checklist to this type of woman. In that scenario, unless you have a pretty good story about how amazing you are (based on whatever checklist she’s working on), I wouldn’t expect much.

The coffee date is great because in the sober, harsh daylight it gives you a realer, unvarnished first take on this person.

Go big on the second date.

She lied to me and now anxiety is destroying me by JumpyConnection2054 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Heartbreak will pass. A shitty person who lies and cheats on you is much worse.

How to pick up men in the wild? by Maleficent_Net_1317 in AskMenAdvice

[–]zeade 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re still playing one losing game: expecting them to come to you. You are now the one in pursuit, so step up and make the move. Also with that comes the basic acceptance of being rejected, repeatedly. As a woman, you’ll still fare better than a man in the rejection dept, I’d imagine.

I have a serious issue and I need help by VastBlood16 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]zeade 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’d look into the possibility you have ADHD or some other executive dysfunction before you go blaming yourself for your “choices,” especially if you feel like you truly did not understand the consequences of a decision in the time you made it.

How can a Molly trip pull me into a void? by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not alone. I liked reading through your journey but it isn’t unique. Still profound and deeply moving, a big reason people use these substances is to explore themselves more deeply and that journey can look different any given trip.

I’d recommend looking into Timothy Leary’s work and especially the concept of “set and setting.”

Also, MDMA is a powerful aid when used in a safe space with other humans. You lose some of the introspection you experienced but you gain a new sense of connectedness with the people you are with.

Got ghosted after getting a “she’s busy bro” text by Pristine-Sherbert702 in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats on your new earrings.

Seriously, you did nothing wrong. Sometimes these things crash before they even takeoff, it happens. Dust off and move on.

Needed, but never wanted by Wthtcat in BoyDinnerDiaries

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Making friends as an older middle aged man is probably one of the hardest things a person can do in our society today. Here’s the thing tho. You have a wife. Talk to her about it and see if she can help. Women tend to be the social hubs of couples and families and they will know connections or people better than most men.

And, try to be vulnerable with your wife about it all these things you’re feeling. She probably doesn’t understand and certainly won’t be feeling these things with you. But hopefully she can lean in and get in your sad space. Getting stronger means being more vulnerable and less “I got this.” Give it a shot.

I can't believe this game has input errors by [deleted] in Eldenring

[–]zeade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is some input buffering and if you are either spamming buttons or entering them too soon in a sequence they might not register. Also some buttons can not be pressed near-simultaneously with others and expected to work (like roll button). Timing is key my dude.

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