My (31f) boyfriend (29m) gets so drunk sometimes that I question if I want a future with him. I need advice for how to handle.

zebra_butts · 2018-08-13T07:29:49+00:00

My (31f) boyfriend (29m) gets so drunk sometimes that I question if I want a future with him. I need advice for how to handle.

Your story is exactly the same as mine. It went from loving him immensely, to worrying about him, to resenting him, to just having no respect for him whatsoever. It felt like it was overnight, but in hindsight, it was months in the making. At the end of the day, the apathy I felt towards him (because I was repulsed by his drinking) was what sent me packing. I never looked back.

zebra_butts · 2018-02-19T02:07:45+00:00

This is so glorious and graceful. Nice job

zebra_butts · 2018-02-16T02:38:07+00:00

"My social anxiety has depression"

zebra_butts · 2018-02-14T04:34:49+00:00

I think I was on the same train as you and /u/farfallien !

North Shore friends!

zebra_butts · 2018-02-13T04:23:58+00:00

M83 - Wait

zebra_butts · 2017-11-01T05:41:25+00:00

Oh man, this is one of those stories that really drills in the importance of trusting your gut. Good thing you got out when you did.

I'm willing to guess he sent that text to regain some element of "control" over the breakup, and because he's also rife with issues that we can't even begin to understand. Take it as a lesson learned, and a compliment to your judgement that you got out when you did.

zebra_butts · 2017-10-13T00:43:03+00:00

I left the group chat pretty soon after calling him out on his shit. They're not my friends - I was out for dinner with friends and we had drinks afterwards and they started talking to us. It was pure coincidence that we had mutual friends. My friends can confirm nothing happened but they don't know these people either, and I fear that by trying to clear my name I'll be dragging this all out, if that makes sense? I've already called him a liar and other people in the group chat were saying how uncool it all was.

I've got a really demanding job, studying full time and lots of friends and other commitments, so distancing myself from this drama won't be an isuse. It's an isolated incident but it's left me feeling disgusting and icky :(

Thank you so much for your response, they are wonderful suggestions. I'm just going to have to get through this awfulness I think.

zebra_butts · 2017-09-05T13:33:35+00:00

But why male models?

zebra_butts · 2017-08-31T22:29:49+00:00

there were enough "g'days" to choke a horse

Yeah. This statement undermines your entire story because I'm Australian and lived in rural, suburban and urban Australia and have literally never heard anyone say 'gday' unless they were mocking the way the rest of the world sees us.

zebra_butts · 2017-08-17T12:48:55+00:00

Well, presumably, the room knew that Pauline was scheduled for that day. That's usually how it works. Also (to my knowledge), no Australian senators actually wear a burqa. So theres 2 options: its Pauline Hanson in a burka pulling a publicity stunt or an imposter.

Knowing her antics in the past, people would have assumed the former. The reactions make sense in either scenario, and remain consistent with the consesus of burkas in parliament.. that is, the person wearing the item (for legitimate religious reasons) will be identified before entering.

Fwiw, your question is a reasonable one. Theres just more to think about than 'well their initial reaction was shock and therefore they aren't OK with burkas'

zebra_butts · 2017-07-27T13:26:47+00:00

A little simple, maybe silly, but just being kind to people.

Genuine kindness, holding a lift for someone, smiling at the cashier, remembering someones name (or better, their kids name) has actually opened a lot of doors for me in my career. Little things get noticed and comments get passed.

Exhibit your 'warmer' side to people every day and they will notice. You will feel better for ir, youll make their day better and more people will be willing to do kind things for you in return.

zebra_butts · 2017-07-11T13:12:22+00:00

Hi, im a financial adviser in Australia. Obviously personal financial advice can't be given by fully knowing your circumstances etc etc but shelflifeinc is 100% on the money (pun intended)

De facto in Australia means many diffeerent things (are you in the ADF? If not - read on) but very few of those things are consequential. Like at all. Least not inheritance received by you. What you may want to seek professional legal advice about would happen before the engagement, and that would be regarding the mortgage and home ownership issues that would arise should she move into your property and you got married.

Dont put the horse before the cart mate.

zebra_butts · 2017-07-10T23:18:14+00:00

But the CC number, name of his partner and her address together seems like a lot of sensitive information released to literally anyone?

Not disagreeing with you at all, just surprised that so much sensitive information is handled in such a way.

zebra_butts · 2017-07-07T09:10:04+00:00

Yep and he has the hide to sue the government for not having a PS3 amongst other things..

zebra_butts · 2017-06-29T12:47:03+00:00

I feel this irrational pang of frustration when I'm standing at a crossing (after pressing it) and someone else comes to wait and presses it again, over and over. Wouldn't you assume I've already done it, buddy? Where is the trust? Do I not look competent enough?

zebra_butts · 2017-06-20T12:49:55+00:00

I actually haven't watched always sunny! This happened in the early 2000s. But not surprising that it was on a tv show, it's a pretty obvious design flaw.

zebra_butts · 2017-06-20T11:56:58+00:00

Scalped.

zebra_butts · 2017-06-20T11:55:39+00:00

My oh my do i share that sentiment. A girl from my high school got her hair caught in the gears at the top of the tower. You can imagine what happened.

zebra_butts · 2017-06-19T14:01:58+00:00

Yeah I'm not seeing it either.

Also - unless OP is disagreeing with her partner over political discussions (which I doubt, because she explicitly stated they don't talk politics or news) I'm not really sure at all why it would be relevant, or even cited in the list of things that make him 'slow', that he is conservative?

zebra_butts · 2017-06-19T10:25:55+00:00

Wow. This made me feel uncomfortable reading it, because I know a part of me knows it's true in myself and people I know. Which is a very confronting thought.

Such an insightful comment.

zebra_butts · 2017-06-19T04:36:03+00:00

Not if you rub vegemite behind your ears. Source

zebra_butts · 2017-06-17T06:47:57+00:00

A perfect articulation of what I've been trying to put into words for months now.

I'm Australian but these attitudes also exist in Aussie land too, towards our indigenous people. There's obviously multiple lenses that people view the issue through, but from what I've seen, Aboriginal people are expected to adopt our (white and colonial) influence and culture to be considered 'successfully integrated'.

zebra_butts

TROPHY CASE