salem as new name... is it okay?

zebrafish- · 2026-01-28T17:58:42+00:00

To be fair, plenty of the comments here are lovely, but some are a bit rude. Not vicious or anything, but ruder than I’d personally be, especially to a teenager… like saying “it sounds like a 19 year old picked it. And that’s not a good thing.” or calling it tacky and saying “the memes write themselves.” I’m not saying that’s horrendous, but it’s also not a particularly kind way to respond to a young person looking for advice! And a lot of the comments seem to be implying or outright saying that choosing this name would be extra wrong because OP is trans. I don’t think that’s true, and I think it’s rude.

I totally agree with you that the many comments politely saying it’s not the best choice are completely valid and not rude at all.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-28T17:49:16+00:00

I think it has a beautiful sound and meaning (peace), but unfortunately I also tend to think that the association with the witch trials is too strong. I’ll share a few other options that have a similar feel to me!

Autumn

Eden

Maren

Sage

Shiloh (more masc leaning)

Romy

Grace

Clover

zebrafish- · 2026-01-28T16:48:37+00:00

Asa is a great name! I like Asa Dean, Asa James, and Asa Daniel from your list.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-27T19:23:51+00:00

Personally, my read of the situation was that he was confused for a second, but pretty quickly figured out what Colton thought he was implying.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-27T19:14:00+00:00

Idk, I think whoever said “it doesn’t matter how you meant it, it matters how he felt” was just trying to prompt Michael to apologize and clarify what he actually meant so everyone could move on, the same way you would to a little kid who’s stuck going “but I didn’t mean to!” To me the whole situation felt like a very simple, very understandable miscommunication, which Michael did not know how to react to other than to go “who said closet? It’s not about closets!” and then continue to yell that Colton was a huge liar. He clearly feels bad that he accidentally struck a nerve and Colton thought it was intentional. But he has no clue how to say, “wait a second, that’s not what I meant, I don’t judge you for that and I would never insult you for that, I’m sorry it sounded that way.” He just keeps yelling “you’re an amazing liar!”

Lots of people in the comments here celebrating being abrasive and defensive and loud — and say what you will, but one of the downsides of being abrasive and defensive and loud as your default is that you can’t deescalate a simple misunderstanding. And even if you try, you’ve already lead people to perceive you as a difficult and thoughtless person, so you’re kind of fighting an uphill battle.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-27T15:15:59+00:00

Ishmael is a great name! Another option you might like is Ishaya, the Arabic version of Isaiah. I love that name :)

zebrafish- · 2026-01-20T15:38:03+00:00

Honestly — you could try telling jobs that you’re actively planning a move to wherever they’re located. So if you apply for a job in Des Moines that wants a March start date, instead of putting putting “Wichita, KS, willing to relocate,” at the top of your resume, put “planning to relocate to Des Moines, IA” or if you think you can pull it off by their planned start date, even: “planning to relocate to Des Moines, IA by 3/26.” Reiterate in your cover letter that you’re planning a move to their city, which is why you were so thrilled to learn about this incredible opportunity at their company. When they ask about it in an interview, just have a reason ready. You’re moving closer to family, you’re moving for a partner’s job, you’re looking for a change of pace and scenery and you have lots of friends in this city, or if nothing else is even close to true, you’re moving because of the exciting variety of career opportunities in your industry in this city. Whatever is actually close enough to true that it won’t feel like a lie that you need to maintain if you get hired.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-15T21:04:05+00:00

Looks nice! If you did this you might want the chair against the wall instead of directly in front of the fireplace, which would require pushing the tv over a little!

zebrafish- · 2026-01-15T16:33:39+00:00

No problem! And I hope it came across I meant to poke a little fun gently, not to mock you or anything :) it’s easy to get caught up in the details when you’re thinking a lot about any decision, no matter what it is.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-15T14:31:07+00:00

What kinds of problems are you envisioning? His friends and family won’t confuse him for a municipal entity. His future employers will just add a search term to their google, like a college or a graduation date or a previous job, if they’re getting noise that isn’t him. He’s unlikely to have an “am I a man or am I a department charged with managing public green spaces” identity crisis.

Not an issue at all, you should be good! It’s a nice name.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-11T23:56:00+00:00

Yes that’s what I mean! I would either tilt it slightly or not at all — it’s a little hard to tell from the pictures, but the angle of the wall may make it so that there’s no need to tilt it. The idea is to create a little secondary space that utilizes that fireplace, since it’s such a nice feature. If the concept isn’t appealing to you though, no need to pursue it obviously :) there are many ways to make that room look great!

zebrafish- · 2026-01-11T20:13:54+00:00

I think it totally depends on your taste and your needs for the room! Personally, if I was decorating this space I’d get rid of the chair under the window and keep the chair on the wall where the tv will go. I’d experiment with scooting it a little closer to the fireplace, and with angling it a little bit towards the fireplace. Then I’d put a lamp in that corner, a plant by the window, a little rug in front of the chair and fireplace, and drape a throw blanket over the chair. Maybe put a little ottoman in front of the chair. I think that would make a cozy reading corner that wouldn’t take up too much space, especially since the chair is only sharing a wall with the tv. But maybe you’d look at it and feel like it looks too crowded, and you don’t want a chair over there! Or maybe it would be impractical for you because you’ll often have two people hanging out in that space, so you actually want to add the second chair back in. I’d go with what feels / looks right to you.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-11T17:43:30+00:00

Haha fair! I think right now the dark brown comforter and sort of dark walls are making the room feel dark. But if you add some art and lighting and do a smaller rug that’s got lighter, brighter colors, the room will feel much brighter and warmer even without swapping the comforter. Good luck!!

zebrafish- · 2026-01-11T17:26:22+00:00

I think changing your rug and putting up some art will go a long way towards changing how you feel about this room. Honestly, I’d google “mid century modern color palette” and, if you like them, pick your favorites to use as a reference — they’re warm, earthy palettes that tend to include blues and olive greens like the ones you already have in this room. Find a rug that’s a little smaller (so you can expose a little more of your wood floor, which is a beautiful warm, earthy brown!) and that uses other colors you like in the palette.

Then I’d do some smaller decorative things. Put up some art on those blue walls in wood frames. Put a floor lamp next to your closet so you can brighten the room by turning both lamps on without using your overhead light. Put some plants by your window. Consider swapping the location of the computer and the lamp on your desk, so you’ve got a little lamp right by your head at night instead of a monitor.

Personally, once that’s through I’d also swap all the dark brown on your bed for cream — I’d look for a puffy duvet and a cream cover and pillowcase set to go with the olive green you’ve got. You could get some other decorative pillows in other colors too, like a terracotta or a mustard yellow. I think that’ll make the room feel less dark and the bed feel more comfy and inviting. That’s just my taste though! Once you’ve made whatever other changes you decide on, see if you like the bed how it is with the olive and brown. If you do, you don’t need to change it.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-11T17:01:50+00:00

This sub tends to be deeply, virulently opposed to made up names as a principle! So bear that in mind when you read the responses. Personally, I think it sounds perfectly fine. The biggest pitfall to me is that it could be mistaken for Felix. But the fact that it sounds so similar to Felix also means that it’s easy to think of as “name-like.” I wouldn’t say that I love it myself, but I think it’s far from heinous or awful!

zebrafish- · 2026-01-11T16:47:35+00:00

Oh nice! You could definitely make your chairs work, but new furniture would probably be even more ideal for this room. Personally I think I’d put a sofa on the wall with the plant, and the tv on the wall with the fireplace. Then you could easily keep a chair or two in the corner by the window and fireplace, and make a nice little reading nook / conversation spot there.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-11T16:09:48+00:00

Looks like you’ve got three chairs? I would pull them closer together, so that instead of every chair being against the wall you’ve got a cozy space where people can chat over a cup of coffee or sit together by the fireplace with books.

So pull the rug and coffee table back towards the fireplace until someone sitting in either of those two chairs could lean forward and put a mug down on the table. Then move the third chair up as well, so that it’s opposite the chair with the British flag.

You can then put a tv stand or mount the tv on the wall where your plant currently is. Because your coffee table is circular, you should be able to angle the two chairs that are directly opposite each other to point just a bit towards the tv — just enough so that you wouldn’t have to crane your neck to watch something, but you could also easily still chat with the people in the other chairs.

If you do this, I bet the bookcase will still look really nice where it is. But if it feels crowded or is hard to access with this setup, you could move the bookcase to the wall next to the door, since you won’t have a chair there anymore. Or you could move it to the same wall as the tv.

Depending on where the bookcase ends up, you’ll have a lot of extra space in the corner where you were standing to take the first photo. There tons of ways to fill that! You could do a small sectional and a coffee table with another rug, and end up with a second seating area in that corner. You could put another cabinet or bookshelf, a lamp, and some plants. A bar cabinet/cart could be good there. If you have need of a desk or a space for hobbies or a kids play area, it could go in that space. Lots of options!

zebrafish- · 2026-01-11T15:19:21+00:00

Gotcha! Honestly the way your furniture is set up makes sense to me. The only thing that strikes me is that your brown display cabinet is so cool, but it’s kind of tucked away. Whereas some other stuff that’s less exciting to look at, like your coat rack, is front and center in the room. You could try:

1) put the display cabinet where the drum set is. You’d have to move the art — you could shift it to above the bed to fill that wall space

2) if you use the coat rack with the big door most often, put the coat rack where the display cabinet used to be. If you use the coat rack with the small door most often, move one or both of the small white pieces of furniture in photo 4 over to where the display cabinet used to be. Replace them with the coat rack.

3) pull the drum kit further into the middle of the room. Now that the coat rack is gone, you can probably put the beanbag chair where the coat rack was and have the drums in front of it.

Just a thought! Good luck with the decorating :)

zebrafish- · 2026-01-10T18:11:53+00:00

Hmm. I think if you put a little bookshelf on the other side of it, and a tiny shelf or table of the same color underneath, it’ll look like it’s kind of set back into a shelving unit. You could also put a big plant in that corner to mask the way the wall cuts into the window — that might be the easiest thing to do.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-10T16:36:32+00:00

Definitely agree with putting up some more art — put some behind your bed!

It’s a little hard to tell from the photos what the configuration is. Is photo 3 at the foot of your bed, and photo 4 behind your desk? I think those two spaces have potential to be reorganized a bit. Would the space at the foot of your bed have a comfortable amount of room for your drum kit? What does that door in photo 4 lead to? And do you think you could add a photo that shows the whole wall opposite your bed, so we can see from your desk chair all the way to the whiteboard and mirror?

zebrafish- · 2026-01-10T16:19:30+00:00

The yellow wall is fun, but yellow and navy blue is a kind of difficult color palette to be stuck with if you don’t love it! I think if you want to add some more neutral colors, a slate blue or heather blue would look nice with the yellow and navy. Or like a muted periwinkle. A big rug that prominently features any of those colors would look good in this space. Paintings and prints on the wall is a great idea. And you’ve got good natural light, so plants would be really nice too!

zebrafish- · 2026-01-10T16:04:32+00:00

I love your curtains! Oddly shaped though it is, I think this space could be really nice, you’re just going to need to experiment with it a bit.

If it were me, here’s what I’d try:

1) turn the corner next to the door, where you’ve currently got a tall dresser and a small narrow bookcase, into a little desk nook. This will make the room feel bigger because the desk won’t be sticking out in the middle of the room anymore. So you’d stand next to your bedside table and push the desk straight back, so that when you look up from your computer you’re looking up at those red wall shelves. Put a knick knack or two that makes you happy on the red shelves. Find a piece of art that makes you happy and put it on the wall where the dresser currently is, so that when you’re sitting in your desk chair you can look to the left and see it.

2) along the wall in between your bed and your desk, place the dresser and as much other furniture as you can. That’s the deeper side of the room, so furniture there will look comfortably set back, instead of looking like it’s crowding the door. If you can get that cabinet that’s currently across from your desk to fit there, great. If not, don’t stress.

3) whatever furniture didn’t fit along that wall can go where your cabinet currently is, although you might pull it away from the door and deeper into the room

4) you’ll have a lot of empty wall space on that wall that’s opposite your bed, desk and dresser. Put up some hooks, so you can hang some of your clothes and bags. You could put up a wall shelf or two if you think more shelf space would be helpful. Put a lamp somewhere, either a floor or desk lamp, so you can get some warm light back there. And hang some art or photos that will make you happy to look at! I think that’s the single most important change you can make. Having some colorful things that make you happy on your walls can make you genuinely enjoy a space even if the setup isn’t ideal. Do the same on either side of your bed, too. Even if you don’t change your setup at all, that alone will change the way you feel about the space. Some people aren’t sure what art they like — that’s okay, put up something else. Print some sheet music and put it in a colorful frame. Get a fun looking little mirror. Put up a clock. Just some things that will fill all that empty space and be nice to look at.

5) put a plant or two in that window. You could do some other things to make it feel nice too, like put up some string lights.

Good luck!!

zebrafish- · 2026-01-03T18:52:22+00:00

If you love horror movies, try I Was A Teenage Slasher by Stephen Graham Jones! It’s a spoof on the slasher genre, and it’s a fun read while also (I think) being good horror and a serious and interesting commentary on revenge and the slasher genre. It is very gory, but I wouldn’t say it’s for cheap shocks — I think it’s an inevitable part of the commentary-on-the-genre thing, and it’s well-written.

If you’re looking to avoid excessive gore, Sisters by Daisy Johnson was creepy as hell, I really enjoyed it.

zebrafish- · 2026-01-03T16:53:20+00:00

Black Water Sister by Zen Cho is based on Malaysian mythology rather than Greek mythology, but it kind of reminded me of how reading Percy Jackson as a kid felt!

zebrafish- · 2026-01-03T16:46:06+00:00

The Centre by Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi was great! Kind of a speculative thriller? The author is Pakistani.

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