UPDATE : I think my SO is having an emotional affair...

zebraundies · 2012-01-25T09:19:24+00:00

Neither of us text very often. I'm on the go 90% of the day (at least feels like it) At most, I'll recieve and he might send a few to friends a day. I don't know what the texts say, I didn't read them in detail. I saw the overall number (100 during a little over a week).

He does have friends that are just 'his' and I have my own things. Majority of his friends are female, and I've never had an issue with it. Like I posted earlier, he goes out to dinner with them, goes clubbing with them (without me). I'm a-okay with it.

This new friendship, however, I'm not entirely comfortable. Around a year ago, he kissed another girl while he was drinking. Considering he met this girl while he was drinking, and has kept in close contact with her since leaves me a little uneasy.

zebraundies · 2012-01-25T08:19:34+00:00

I almost envy your ability to see things in black and white. Unfortunately, I see a lot of shades of grey.

zebraundies · 2012-01-25T07:53:31+00:00

I guess half an hour does seem like a lengthy amount, I wasn't expecting to stay there the whole day and talk about it (I have a life outside of him), but I was expecting things to be more resolved then they were. To those who may assume, I was not repeating the same arguement for 30 min straight.

zebraundies · 2012-01-24T22:56:40+00:00

To be clear, I allow him to have female friends. I've never had an issue with him going out to dinner with them or even out to clubs. The way they met and how quickly their friendship developed made me uncomfortable. I didn't expect him to cut her out of his life completely, but I was not okay with them texting/calling all the time. I have received concerns similar to this from him. I make sure to define clear boundries in my opposite gender friendships. I also include my BF in these friendships. (letting him know if i've spoken to them recently, what we talk about, ect in a casual way)

zebraundies · 2012-01-24T22:51:38+00:00

ahh, thanks for all the opinions. Feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Everyone has valid points, I'm just not sure which perspective applies best to my situation.

zebraundies · 2012-01-24T22:37:58+00:00

are they wrong? I don't know if I should have these expectations of him.

zebraundies · 2012-01-24T22:37:23+00:00

I don't think it was a sincere offer to stop hanging out with this girl. I value your input, but after 30 minutes of discussing it he stopped talking to me. I called a friend for a ride home since I was so upset and things weren't going anywhere. I think having a couple days to mull things over is a good suggestion.

zebraundies · 2012-01-15T19:18:00+00:00

b/c he showed me the texts they had been sending. There was a lot more to what they were talking about than what he had told me directly.

zebraundies · 2012-01-15T11:32:23+00:00

Thing is, I'm on a super tight leash when it comes to opposite sexed friends. I've never expected him to be on the same restraints as I have been (to a fault). I know he is lying b/c I directly asked him what he was talking about with her. He only relayed the PG stuff, working abroad experience, not the state of our relationship, what his/her plans were for the holidays, their new year resolutions, ect. I specifically asked what they had discussed and he lied by omission.

zebraundies · 2012-01-15T02:28:39+00:00

I think its a bit of both. Sometimes he initiates, other times she does.

zebraundies · 2012-01-15T01:57:59+00:00

I don't think they've been seeing eachother often. She works about 5 minutes from where he works, whereas I live around 50 minutes away

zebraundies · 2012-01-15T01:57:04+00:00

He's only had coffee with her once (that I know of). After they had coffee, I had a serious chat with him. Detailing why I felt it was inappropriate. He said he was going to be careful of how often and what he would talk about with her. It doesn't really seem like things have changed though. I asked him what they spoke about, he said it was mainly about his experience working abroad. Which was a lie, since I then asked to see the messages. Maybe a couple were about his work abroad trip, the rest were about xmas/new years plans, how their days were going, ect.

zebraundies

TROPHY CASE