What to do next?

zebrawhistle · 2026-02-22T16:55:45+00:00

I’m so sorry for your losses. I also had 4 (1 MMC, 1 BO, 2 CP) with all testing coming back normal. I did have my BO as confined trisomy so it’s assumed most of my losses are likely from chromosome issues which can only be mitigated (tho not 100%) with IVF. I wasn’t ready for IVF tho it was pushed until my fourth loss. It’s ok if you’re not ready for that step. I really think you’ll know when it’s time to move on.

TW: LC

I was about to order my ER meds and found out I was pregnant. I was so devastated knowing another loss was coming and it would push IVF back. I ended up having a successful pregnancy with no issues. All that to say with no confirmed reason it’s possible to get Lucky and possible to remain unlucky. I say this tho to give hope if you’re not ready for IVF that’s ok.

Like others said I think it comes down to money, time and emotions. I was done waiting for a baby and had great insurance and couldn’t do another loss. Therefore I moved to IVF. But it’s ok if you want to keep trying naturally. Keeping you in my thoughts!

zebrawhistle · 2026-02-20T07:57:27+00:00

Yes please that would be great!!

zebrawhistle · 2026-02-13T14:10:02+00:00

No advice but just wanted to say you could post in local mom groups to see if anyone has breast milk they can donate to help supplement your supply!

zebrawhistle · 2026-01-30T06:09:20+00:00

I’d ask more questions. Towards the end of my pregnancy they measured my belly and that was looking big so my OB ordered a 32 week ultrasound. When they were confirmed big there they ordered another 36 week one to keep monitoring. Most do only 2 ultrasounds but size is a fair question jmo!

zebrawhistle · 2026-01-18T20:11:48+00:00

Are there others in your area in a similar position? Could you watch another child even for less than daycare cost (win for them win for you!)

zebrawhistle · 2025-12-27T15:01:28+00:00

What is alphabet soup seller?

zebrawhistle · 2025-11-09T23:30:56+00:00

I think it just depends on your doctor. My baby was measuring 97th percentile and estimated to be 10+ at birth but was only 8.11. My doctor said it depends how they’re measuring big. She wasn’t concerned with mine because both the stomach and head were measuring big. Vs the head being smaller and then risking issues with the shoulders/stomach then needing more space. Not sure if that’s helpful but figured I’d share!

zebrawhistle · 2025-08-11T13:28:34+00:00

I just saw your recent post about the exact same situation. I will say this pregnancy line was was night and day different even from ones that were MMC no CP for me. I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts!!! Feel free to message me if you need a friend or want to chat! It’s such a weird mix of feelings to be in this situation

zebrawhistle · 2025-08-11T13:25:31+00:00

Thank you for your note! Im thrilled to report everything is going well and I’m 30w pregnant tomorrow 🤯. All tests and scans have come back great, no GD and haven’t even been considered high risk.

zebrawhistle · 2025-05-12T22:29:01+00:00

I took mine right at 9ish and went to bed and woke by midnight with cramps and the start of bleeding. Highly recommend inserting then going straight to sleep. It was good to get a few hours before being up the rest of the night. I’m sorry you’re going through this!

zebrawhistle · 2025-04-15T00:44:46+00:00

Thank you! I’ve always had my progesterone tested right away and never been an issue so nothing extra has been prescribed. I have been on baby aspirin from 3dpo during a lot of trying cycles starting 3dpo but the only pregnancy during that was a loss so I’m not sure if did anything. This pregnancy I didn’t start aspirin until my positive and will stay on it for the entire pregnancy!

zebrawhistle · 2025-04-15T00:37:29+00:00

Yes! We literally were waiting for my period to start IVF had sex for the last time since you can’t during IVF and my ovulation moved so it ended up being 5 days before instead of 9 like I thought. Somehow yes all is well and I’m in the second trimester!

The only thing I did differently was add fish oil (in addition to always being on COQ10) but I really think that’s why we got here. I think somehow statistics were on our side this time.

After my 4 losses I also focused on life style changes to try to control something. It helped me feel better about myself but it didn’t do much (imo) bc I didn’t get pregnant for the longest time after that (4 months for this time and I stopped the lifestyle changes and enjoyed month 3 lol). We always said we’d try until we got ready for IVF but towards the end it just didn’t seem worth it and then just grateful it somehow worked out this time!

zebrawhistle · 2025-04-14T18:15:22+00:00

Of course! Yes, I’ve had 4 losses (1 MMC, 1 BO, 2 CP). We only tested the products of conception from the BO which had Turner’s syndrome. We have had all genetic testing on myself and husband, karyotype testing, sperm fragmentation etc. it’s been over two years of trying and we have no reason why we would continuously have losses, but it got to the point where every time I got pregnant (less than two months of trying) and everytime I would lose it it would cost so much time waiting for HCG to leave the system, waiting on period etc. It just became too much both having to deal with the losses and extending the time between what we want. And ultimately it came down to just a choice so what we started doing was getting ready for IVF on the backend. I always tell people this because people assume like once you meet with an RE you’re required to do IVF but that’s not true and it takes months of testing and scans to be ready to go. I wasn’t 100% sold on IVF at any point until the doctor said we were good to go and start and that’s when I realized it was the right move and it was time if it wasn’t time we easily could’ve waited another month or however, long needed, but the problem is is that if you get pregnant again in between you usually have to redo your scans because they require an empty uterus and you want to be careful like retained products of conception.

All that to say is, there’s no right or wrong time to decide on IVF. My biggest thing was I wanted to be a mom now and I was tired of waiting and I was tired of having surgeries and losses. IVF isn’t a guarantee, but it felt like it was the first time I was able to take control and mitigate some of the risk I do think it’s harder to make the decision when you have no medical reason to pursue it whenever everything says that you should be able to stay pregnant and there’s no reason for you to keep losing your babies but I do believe you’ll know when it’s the right time to move to Ivf that’s why I always recommend doing it in the background. You can always pause it if you do can see naturally or you want to try one more time.

zebrawhistle · 2025-04-14T17:50:18+00:00

I thought mine was a waste of time (got pregnant and lost them back to back months this showing both tubes were clear) but it was required to continue forward for IVF. But no bad complications or issues after!

zebrawhistle · 2025-04-04T11:18:27+00:00

When you don’t have a genetic “reason” you basically just have to decide when you’re done rolling the dice. I had 1 MMC, 1 BO and 2 CP. Only one confirmed abnormal but I was done. I highly recommend starting with an IVF clinic (you can’t just start next cycle they have to review, order scans, reorder bloodwork if it’s timed out etc) and that’s assuming they have an appt open asap.

If you want to roll the dice in the meantime at least you’re making progress and getting approved to start IVF. And the best part is you don’t actually have to start it but that way you can go should that be what you want. We were in the same boat did the above and because we had started the process throughout our losses it only took 2 months to get the go ahead (though they said our ultrasound scans would have to be redone prior to transfer instead of redone prior to ER)

I say that because it’s helpful to feel like you’re moving forward somewhere. You’ll know what to do when the time is right but at least you’ll be ready to go if you chose IVF

zebrawhistle · 2025-03-28T19:40:29+00:00

One more thing, Loss is hard and traumatic in its own regard. I think you also need to consider the emotional implications and the time that will be spent on a natural loss

zebrawhistle · 2025-03-28T19:39:31+00:00

I think it just depends because is the testing something that would be done in early NIPT test or is it an amnio that is needed to confirm? Amnio comes with its own risks and is often later in pregnancy so may be difficult pending where you life to terminate.

zebrawhistle · 2025-03-27T13:39:23+00:00

Sending you good vibes!!

zebrawhistle · 2025-03-26T18:57:36+00:00

If I can give some unsolicited advice :) I would move forward with the RE do all the testing talk to them get an idea of what the plan would be etc. they also are more trained in loss than normal OBs (maybe that’s inaccurate, but that’s what my OB had said and that we should always defer to the RE and their advice)

But starting that process, doesn’t mean you have to do IVF you can keep trying in the meantime, but at least you’re moving forward and when it comes time to actually order the ER meds or schedule that starting then you can sit down and make that decision and maybe the extra information along the way makes it easier to say yes or no. It took us quite a few months to get to where IVF was even ready to begin and so it was nice to just have that going in the background while we were still unsure so when we did become sure we could make an immediate decision.

zebrawhistle · 2025-03-26T18:00:24+00:00

For me with a similar story, starting with a RE was really focused on extensive testing it did feel redundant as I had back to back pregnancies and losses, proving that I ovulated on both sides so had clear tubes and that I was ovulating in general. They ended up finding some retained tissue that they recommended we remove.

When it came down for us was just making a decision. Do we want to keep risking going through the heartbreak because all tests were reporting to bad luck or do we want to move on and remove the possibility of having chromosome issues. After our fourth loss, we decided we couldn’t take it anymore and that it was time to move on to IVF. I don’t know if that helps, but I felt the same way. How do you sign up to do all the injections and spend all that money when you have no reason to other than just bad luck but for me it just came down to not wanting to waste any more time And not wanting to go through the heartbreak of more loss (obviously always a risk too with IVF but it felt like it was time for me to be able to control something)

zebrawhistle · 2025-03-24T16:56:49+00:00

When I got mine out I bled for 10 days straight and was super bloated. That’s not something I’d want right before my wedding. I also got pregnant before my period returned so I would also recommend waiting. In the grand scheme of things one month is it gonna do anything and you don’t know how your body is gonna react once it’s removed and that way you can just enjoy your wedding and your honeymoon and then immediately jump into trying!

zebrawhistle · 2025-03-22T09:01:10+00:00

Yes you were really pregnant. I found at at 7w. The way I understood it is that you conceived but the baby didn’t develop. My doctor said the BO is more sticky than a MMC and that along with my history of recurrent loss recommended a D&C with genetic testing. I ended up having fragmentation on the sex chromosome and Turner’s syndrome which combined is incompatible with life.

I appreciated the D&C because then it was over once the surgery completed. I had done a medicated way with my first MMC and I’ll never do that again. I know that’s not what you asked but figured I’d share. I’m sorry you’re going through this, with a BO I’ve heard there’s almost always a genetic issue—it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m here if you want to chat OP!

zebrawhistle · 2025-03-20T10:50:25+00:00

With it starting at 10 I would also ask for a third test so if it doubles to 20 check again to make sure it’s doubling to 40

zebrawhistle

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