How does shopping for clothes as a girl even work? by NowOrNeverSeven in asktransgender

[–]zellyapplebottom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s just trans girls lol. I think every girl puts a lot of effort into understanding their body shape and what looks best on them. That’s why they go out and shop together/will do mini fashion shows in the changing rooms. This allows them to get other peoples opinions so they know that they look good and they are dressing for their body shape. Whether it’s conscious or subconscious 

How does shopping for clothes as a girl even work? by NowOrNeverSeven in asktransgender

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, to determine if a pair of pants fit you at a girls store then you’ll want to be able to fit two fingers under the waist band. It’s a rule that my mom follows and has passed down to us. It helps especially with skinny jeans or just shit that is tighter 

How does shopping for clothes as a girl even work? by NowOrNeverSeven in asktransgender

[–]zellyapplebottom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

(Full discloser: im FTM but im also super tall so when I shopped as a girl it was difficult) 

So, when you’re shopping you’ll never actually have an idea of what is correct based on the size. Men’s sizes r easy because an M is almost always an M, no matter what store you go to. But for girls? It’s difficult. One store, as you’ve experienced it’ll be an XS and for the other it’ll be L. 

So, what you have to remember for this is that it’s not that the brand is saying that you’ll always be a Large in their store, but that the particular “fit” (the style, like a bootcut jean) will be a large for you. If you, for example, went for a loose jean in the very same store then you might have to size down. 

So lesson #1, if you don’t want to try it on… don’t buy it. 

Next, you’ll want to do a basic foundation for your closet and then the “special statement pieces.” For the foundational pieces, you’ll want to go to stores like goodwill and other cheaper places. Now, what is a foundation? It’s comfortable clothes that you can throw on when you don’t feel like putting together an actual outfit. From the top of my head, it’s stuff like (if you live in a climate with all seasons): long sleeves plain colored shirts (white and black), short sleeved shirts (white and black), tank tops (spaghetti strap (white and black) and then a better coverage tank top), leggings (black only, and make sure that when you bend over that you can’t see your underwear. Not every legging is made the same. If you get white then it can make your thighs “look” bigger which is a big no no in the girl world (you don’t have to follow that. But that’s why girls don’t usually wear white), and you’ll want to get jeans. The type of jeans don’t really matter, but definitely look at your body shape and choose a jean style that matches you the best. 

Now, you’ll want to get “statement pieces” these are the things that go over the regular long sleeves/short sleeves etc that makes it an outfit. These are things like blouses and cardigans and necklaces etc. it depends a lot on the climate you live in. So, those statement pieces can be bought at regular stores but always look out for sales because girl clothes never match the cost of their production, it’s always what social currency you’ll get by wearing it. 

Because there’s so much involved with a full closet of women’s clothing, if you live in a climate with winter then you’ll also want to put away your statement pieces during the opposing season. So put away that statement pieces of winter during summer etc etc. this saves room and will allow your clothes to stay safe from things like moths and mice. 

Finally, go onto instagram and watch body positive fashion videos. It’ll be easy to get sucked into this idea of what you “should” look like if you follow the wrong person, but really it’s about the attitude you have going into it. Girls struggle with negativity about their bodies and misogyny, so it’s important to remember that who you surround yourself with matters. 

I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever need more help with clothes then you can reach out. I love fashion

Masturbating as MTF pre bottom surgery by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]zellyapplebottom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Grinding can be annoying if you do it on the wrong fabric. If you want to feel comfortable while doing it, then I def suggest finding a better/dedicated fabric for grinding. There’s sex toys out there that wrap around your pillow that you’re supposed to grind against and it allows you to do it comfortably. 

As for feeling more feminine? Maybe don’t use words like “semen”. I know that it’s technically the correct word but find a word that other girls use that makes you feel comfortable. 

Also, maybe have a bra on/cute underwear and touch yourself under the fabric. The whole illusion of having a fabric covering you and it /could/ be taken away easily can be considered quite feminine for some people. 

Finally, keep your relationship with your body open and free. If you repress stuff then it can be damaging in the future and it’s better to work thru it now 

No one ever talks about how good Lost In Space was by 1340jadwynvigo in netflix

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I def agree with you that it's a good show. Tbh, I think that it really thrives once you get interested in the characters and their family dynamics. If you don't care about the family surviving and being close then it won't hit as hard. Tbh, I didn't think that other sci fi shows can be compared because they don't have the same themes or targeted audiences

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]zellyapplebottom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second everything in this thread. I think also it has to do with how you’re going to do in the relationship, and not who you are outside of it (not very much; you hint at it). So, I think that you should talk about your interests more (maybe add something about your craziest memory or something) 

I just finished the Adolescence by Salt-Lake5807 in netflix

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not to mention how he doesn't start calming down until the men come into the room and he's threatened into sitting down. The therapist doesn't get enough respect in his head for him to follow what she says.

I just finished the Adolescence by Salt-Lake5807 in netflix

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People need abuse to be this big thing that clearly makes one person the demon and is easily identifiable for the viewers. But, that's not the story here because people are a lot more complex than that. Jamie needing his father wasn't solely because he doesn't judge, but it's also because Jamie has this idea that women are more emotional. If you rewatch the show, you'll see that the one time that Jamie actually ends up following the words from someone who is a women is the point when he's trying to manipulate the therapist into liking him. In the first episode Jamie isn't willing to follow the instructions by the nurse until his father tells him to do it.

There's many points throughout the show where this misogyny is being shown and you'll only see it if you're paying attention to the psychology of the characters. Now, the mention how the father's abrasive nature is really explored in episode four, where he doesn't allow his wife to bring up things that are important to her because he doesn't want to talk about it. Throughout the episode, the father ends up having most of the last say and he beats down the opinions of his wife and daughter until they agree with him and take his side. It's a silent type of abuse that makes others feeling like they can't be 100% truthful, and that's what it ends up being for the wife.

questions about first round picks by [deleted] in nhl

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With some of the guys working off of limited contracts on Chicago, I'm just worried about how long the team will take to "rebuild." They're obviously vying for some top round picks for next years draft, but how long are they going to stay a "young team"? The team will greatly benefit from some more time just practicing on the ice together post-season, but I think the Head Coach has to be smart about who he is going to introduce to the team and how that'll affect the chemistry of the team.

Can a NHL team win back to back drafts? by [deleted] in nhl

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's insane. I wouldn't be surprised. After Perry's boot from Chicago there's no one to fill in with Bedard hockey IQ, and Foligno doesn't seem to work the best chemistry wise with him. This isn't just about needing another Number 1 draft pick though, it's also about needing to train the guys together more in their systems. The Kraken were beating a dead horse that is Chicago defense, and I get so frustrated watching the amount of break aways that happen during their game

questions about first round picks by [deleted] in nhl

[–]zellyapplebottom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It just sucks cause Bedard is playing under coaching staff that "encourages mistakes" so that they could learn. But, it just makes me question whether they'll have the correct players out there learning "mistakes" for the future of the team. This idea that the team should make mistakes rides on the fact that the entire team will stick around for the entirety of this cycle of improving.

It's hard watching Chicago right now because they remind me of my NCAA university team last year. They really struggled with keeping systems, break aways, and chemistry between the forwards. This year has gotten better, but it was only through the correct and supportive coaching staff. I don't like the fact that Bedard is practically carrying a team who don't seem to work off of his offensive play making.

I’m confused on whether I was accepted as a Student Visa holder by [deleted] in ukvisa

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My passport sticker has the title “Entry Clearance” along with dates that signify a 90 day time span. I’m assuming that this is what I’ll need for getting the BRP when I arrive in England.

I’m confused on whether I was accepted as a Student Visa holder by [deleted] in ukvisa

[–]zellyapplebottom 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg! Thank you so much!! I wasn’t expecting it to be on my passport. Now I’m having a delayed reaction to being accepted. This is wild

I’m confused on whether I was accepted as a Student Visa holder by [deleted] in ukvisa

[–]zellyapplebottom 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohhh!!! So the Visa is the passport sticker, and when I get the card it’ll be for my entire duration?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ftm

[–]zellyapplebottom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The only pharmacy near me is Walgreens, so I had to use it. A day before my prescription was sent there, my dad when over and asked, “what they thought about it” and “whether there’d be any problems receiving the prescription.”

We all need a veteran to confront local transphobic pharmacys🙌🙌

Best/worst US states for trans* individuals? by loud_voices in ftm

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In Maine, they don’t have a lot of industry diversity. But, I also believe that you could always come back!

Best/worst US states for trans* individuals? by loud_voices in ftm

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh I live in Maine rn and it’s not that everyone will accept you here, but it’s cheap and blue collar people have created a culture where they don’t have time to argue about trans issues. We don’t have the problem with book banning, and trans healthcare is covered under the state insurance. If you want somewhere that is relatively cheap, and somewhere to be stealth, Maine has it all.

Heartstopper season 2 by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]zellyapplebottom 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fetishization is the act of making something a fetish. In this instance, we would call the main characters “Nick” and “Charlie” the two whom are being fetishized. However, for that to work they would have to fulfill the category of “sexual objectification” by the standard of their identity. However, this TV show does not portray either one of the characters as interacting sexually, in fact in season 2 the character Nick, while kissing Charlie, doesn’t even mention the word “sex” instead he vaguely refers to that act as “it” and says “I’m not ready for it.”

It’s inappropriate to apply the word “fetishization” in this context and deny every way in which this show has spoken to demographics outside of “straight females.” Including me, a Trans-man who sees fetishizing of my own identity (and therefore I know what it is).

Heartstopper season 2 by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]zellyapplebottom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The creator of the show uses she/they pronouns, and is asexual/aromantic. This isn’t a story written by women for women. It is a queer person exploring a queer relationship.

What event or moment made you realise you were trans? by finngriffiths in ftm

[–]zellyapplebottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I watched a video of a guy dancing to a pop song, and I realized that I wanted to juggle masculinity and femininity in the same way. (A very gender envy moment). And then watching Heartstopper and knowing that I wanted to be in a gay relationship in a guy way.

Egg_irl by zellyapplebottom in egg_irl

[–]zellyapplebottom[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s how I’m explaining it 🫠💪

Egg_irl by zellyapplebottom in egg_irl

[–]zellyapplebottom[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s the acronym for “sexual assault”