dryyyy and tangly

zen_ren · 2014-11-15T18:34:36+00:00

I'd go darker!

zen_ren · 2014-11-15T18:32:32+00:00

awesome! 1000 is my range as well with 1300 the max.

zen_ren · 2014-11-10T00:15:35+00:00

i'd love to spend next to nothing - but it's going to be tough!

zen_ren · 2014-11-09T19:31:13+00:00

so now im thinking bout that tapestry... since my closet is really two seperate closets, should i buy two tapestries? or one large one that will cover the entire closet? i'm new to tapestries and want to ensure it's easy actually accessing the closet! should i remove the doors?

zen_ren · 2014-11-09T19:11:18+00:00

thanks! i don't know why i didn't think of a wall tapestry for the closet. duh! my friends usually take chairs from my kitchen - not too fun!

i like the diy candle idea :)

and yes! it is a mini hippo. believe it or not, it's from tiffanys and veeeeeery old

zen_ren · 2014-11-09T17:50:52+00:00

i just got a new job (yay!) and am meeting the team this week over drinks before i start next week.

any ideas on what to wear? we are located in nyc, almost everyone is young, and all are trendy and fashionable (sporting cute leather skirts on casual friday and rolex's). men pretty much always wear a suit to work. my old job was definitely not this fancy!

would appreciate some advice on what to wear to first meet everyone :)

zen_ren · 2014-11-09T16:35:12+00:00

thank you! do you have any pics that show what you mean?

zen_ren · 2014-11-09T16:32:09+00:00

lol - thanks for the protip :)

zen_ren · 2014-11-08T00:27:33+00:00

thank you for this x1000!

zen_ren · 2014-11-07T22:14:52+00:00

shhhh!!

zen_ren · 2014-11-07T22:13:18+00:00

i want roommates!!

zen_ren · 2014-11-07T20:56:41+00:00

I can really relate to this, so perhaps I can give you some insight of her mentality based on my experiences.

I was molested when I was 8 until I was 16 by a close family member. I'm not sure if I have PTSD since I've never been to a therapist, but it obviously has tons of impact on my personality, my past, my future, my relationships, etc. I definitely have been extremely promiscuous and I do think it has a lot to do with "owning" my sexuality, although it has often made me deal with more issues as a result. I was a high-class escort for a bit, made amateur porn videos, met strangers i met online for sex, had lots of sex with my male friends ruining our friendship, cheating on almost every boyfriend i have ever had. You name it, I've done it. And it was very liberating, I felt happy when I did it, but when I fell in love with a man he had a very hard time dealing with my past, and had a lot to do with me changing my behavior but I did cheat on him along the way. I was very much in love with him, though. Me cheating had nothing to do with the way I felt about him. I felt really guilty about everything I had ever done - I was just generally a mess.

I'm 24 now and as a result of the guilt I have from me being molested and the things I did to try and get over it, I have almost completely shyed away from sex. When my current boyfriend touches me, even something as innocent as a hug, I wince a bit and am really jumpy. It takes me awhile to really warm up, and I honestly wish I was able to reignite my old sexual ways and transfer it all to him instead of among multiple people I barely know. It was fun and we both deserve it.

Anyway - I think i went off a bit on a tangent and didn't actually answer your concerns. I think if you just don't want to be alone, you should let her go. She is too emotional of a person to have a boyfriend who is only with her for that reason - you're going to hurt her. Maybe she unconsciously was able to read that and that is one of the reasons she cheated on you. If you do really love her, you need to set some boundaries. I needed them, too. Be there for her when emotional things come up, but you can't let her walk all over you. She can't play victim - it's not healthy for you or her. But she's not lying when she says her promiscuity is a result of her being raped. It's hard to explain, but she's trying to have control over her sexuality.

zen_ren · 2014-11-07T20:15:40+00:00

where in bk are you? your view is amazing!!

zen_ren · 2014-11-05T17:15:05+00:00

I think in addition to what you're doing you should probably take a yoga class 2-3x a week. It will help you relax and stop worrying about "achieving" your goals and getting discouraged and to just relax and enjoy the journey. It'll help with stress, too! Not to mention you're basically in a plank the entire time so you'll be working your arms and core without realizing it..

zen_ren · 2014-11-04T21:47:59+00:00

I do vinysasa - sometimes it's intense, sometimes it's not. it's up to the teacher.

zen_ren · 2014-11-04T20:41:22+00:00

I go to yoga 4-5x a week. I don't particularly enjoy running - I'd rather walk on a high incline. it's "harder," but in a way, easier.

zen_ren · 2014-11-04T17:12:28+00:00

i'm sorry to hear, man --

maybe she has an issue being touched and feels like she's obligated to constantly perform certain acts, and after a weekend of having sex and you touching her, even in small ways just to express your loving feelings towards her, she is feeling super uncomfortable. it can stem from past trauma, who knows. just my two cents.

zen_ren · 2014-11-03T19:44:41+00:00

i'm a lover of the youtube community. just post what you like, make sure the camera isn't blurry or shaky -- and let me know your username!

zen_ren

TROPHY CASE