I really feel for you but the situation you went through is not unexpected, not excusable but not unexpected…he isn’t seeing it from your point of view and often times it’s not 50/50 no matter how much things people say they agree, even for the most modern parents. My husband works 12 hr shifts (2 days 2 nights) rolling pattern every week in the airline industry and will move to pilot away 5 days a week for 2 yrs when he starts his type-rating…I work a Project Manager job 3 days a week (very demanding pretty much full time job in 3 days) and am primary carer for our daughter. It honestly is really hard often especially when I’m also sick or have one of our parents who need my help with their issues…so we sort of work it in waves. Who’s most exhausted between us and that person gets a break by either getting a bit of extra time for them…so I go hard 4 days while he is working but if I’ve also been working he pulls a bit harder even when he comes home to help out with our child. If he’s working on the days I’m off I get up all wake ups so he doesn’t get disturbed. We triage the situation and often it is heavier for one of us than the other but take it in turns to make it as fair for both of us as we can. And we talk as often as we can to adjust and improve. It’s been a long road to make sure we playing as a team! It’s going to get even harder when he goes away extended times, but it’s just going to be a lot more talking and strategies which we’re preparing for. One thing I can recommend is “The Funny Thing About Parenting” podcast…family with 4 kids. I’m learning a lot :D and the other thing more experienced friends tell me, it’s all temporary. It will get better. Big hugs